Q. What do time traveling aliens call their little green vacation in the Mile High City?
A. Time Off!

Q. What do Denverites call a spaced alien on legalized marijuana?
A. A High Flyer!

Q. Why do spaced aliens call Denver the Mile High City?
A. 5280 pot shops.

LoDo Denver 4:20 Happy Hour Pick-Up Line: Hey, I'll let you hit this, if I can tap that!

Q. How did the Denver budtender describe his position at the pot shop?
A. It's a kushy job.

Q. What is the technical term for a Colorado pot head who's a Mile High?
A. True Enjointment.

Q. How do skeletons in Denver get high?
A. Marrow-juana.

If you live in Denver, you don't have to get high. But, you do have to stay high.

Q. How many Denver Broncos does it take to change a tire?
A. Just one, unless it's a blowout. Then, they all show up.

Q. What do the Denver Broncos and half of all adults in Colorado have in common?
A. They all get blitzed!

Q. What did the stand up comedian say when all his cannabis jokes bombed at Denver Comedy Works?
A. That's Grow Biz.

Q. Why do Denver area stoners spend so much money?
A. Because they're high rollers!

Denver 420 Quip: In Denver, the focus is on repairing pot holes, not disrepairing potheads.

Q. What happens if you consume 5280 cannabis edibles in Denver?
A. You get a pot belly, but you know you'll work it off in a mile.

Mile High Pick-Up Line: Hey there Denver, I have a huge kush on you!

Denver Budtender Tip of the Day: Don't panic, it's organic!

Colorado Cannabis Point to Ponder: Why isn't there a network sitcom or even a cable reality show about a Denver pot shop?

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents and cannafoodies are quite common in the Mile High city.

Did you hear about the Denver street musician who died while smoking weed rolled in a dollar bill? At least he went out on a high note…

Q. What do Colorado Cannabis and the Denver Broncos have in common?
A. Both got smoked last year.

Q. How do you keep Denver Broncos out of your outdoor marijuana grow?
A. Install goal posts.

Q. How are the Denver Broncos and those spaced out stoner neighbors on the block alike?
A. Neither can pick up a single yard.

Q. What do Denver Broncos fans root for when the team is behind and the clock is running out?
A. A Hail Mary Jane pass.

Q. What is the name of the pot shop on top of Lookout Mountain?
A. Higher Expectations.

DIA Pick-Up Line: Hey, I've got two boarding passes. Let's catch a flight and see where we land.

Q. Why was Jay, the Budtender, in such high demand in the Mile High city?
A. Because he always gives his clients the straight dope.

Q. Why did the Denver ad agency hire bees to write copy for the new cannabis edibles company?
A. Because they know all the local buzz words.

Q. Why did the Denver PR firm name the new indica strain Success?
A. So consumers can honestly say, "I'm High on Success!"

Mile High Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, don't be shy. Let's get high.

Q. How can you tell you're at a Mile High wedding?
A. Hungry guests begin to nibble on the rice and then request Denver omelettes.

Mile High 420 Quip: Whoever said, "Money Can't Buy Happiness," clearly has not visited a Denver pot shop.

Q. What's the name of the Denver cannabis dispensary on Capitol Hill?
A. The Health Joint.

Denver LoDo Pick-Up Line: Hey Bud, I blaze on the first date!

Q. Why do Cannabis Geese fly upside-down over Denver's field at Mile High?
A. There's nothing worth crapping on down there.

Q. Why do so many tourists visit the Mile High city?
A. For the high times.

LoDo Denver Pick-Up Line: Wow, wanna blow this joint? 'Cause you are smokin'!

Q. What is the motto of the Denver marijuana growing equipment store?
A. Yes We Cannabis!

Q. What do you call cannabis growers up against along the I25 corridor through Denver, Colorado?
A. Herb 'N Sprawl.

Q. What sort of article did West Word publish about the newest pot shop in Denver?
A. A Puff Piece.

Q. Why did the Colorado stoner cross County Line Road?
A. To get to the recreational marijuana store on the other side.

According to a recent poll, 91% of Coloradans are satisfied with their lives. Apparently, the other 9% can't remember where the nearest Denver pot shop is?

Q. What's the name of the stylish new cannabis dispensary in Denver's chic Cherry Creek neighborhood?
A. High Heals.

Q. What do Denverites call a stoner comedian at Comedy Works?
A. Pot Roast.

Q. What gift does every Denver plumber appreciate on his birthday?
A. Pipe cleaners!

Stoner Pick-Up Line Heard at DIA: Weed be cute together.

Q. Why is the new rare cannabis strain so pricey at the Boulder pot shop?
A. 'Cause it's in high demand!

Did you hear about the Mile High cannabis job fair? Over 70,000 stoners meant to attend. (If they had held the fair at the Broncos' stadium, it would've been a sell out!)

Q. Why couldn't the lifeguard at Chatfield Reservoir save the drowning stoner?
A. 'Cause he was too far out, man.

Q. What was the Denver Post headline when marijuana was first legalized in Colorado?
A. Taking the Cover Off Pot.

Q. Why do Denver musicians like playing a Mile High?
A. Because of the view up here!

Q. What do Denverites say on 420?
A. You're Ganja Enjoint the Day!

Q. Where is most personal cannabis farming done near Denver, Colorado?
A. In the Subherbs.

Q. Why was the handsome stoner professor so popular at DU?
A. Because he was a true model of higher learning.

Did you hear about the spaced aliens who were planning to rob a Denver pot shop? First, they had to case the joint.

Q. What do you call a graduate of the University of Denver who goes into the legal pot industry?
A. DUber.

Downtown Denver Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby, let's make like a blunt and roll.

Q. What was the stoner Denver weatherman fired from his radio gig?
A. Because his forecast was always partly cloudy with foggy patches.

Rockin' Colorado Mile High Hit: Dude, this song smells like Redrocks Amphitheatre!

Q. What is Baked, Blazed, and Bouldered?
A. Rocky Mountain High, Colorado!

Q. What do you call a mellow Denver Post article about stoners?
A. A puff piece.

Doobie-ous Denver Factoid: If Frank Azar (suer supreme) can't help you if you were wrongfully hit by the cannabis bus, it's likely Mike Sawaya can.

Colorado Cannabis-ism Recently Heard on Denver's 16th Street Mall: All we are saying is, give pot a chance.

Q. What do Coloradans for Cannabis call it when the Denver and Boulder chapters get together once a year?
A. The Super Bowl.

Q. Why did the LoDo hipster add laxatives and cannabis oil to his coffee?
A. Just for some shits and grins.

Q. What do Denverites call poetry by a pigeons hanging around a marijuana grow house?
A. High Coo!

Q. What happened to the food critic who reviewed the new Colorado Cannabis Cafe in Denver?
A. He got a pot belly.

Q. What is a treefer and is that better than a two-fer?
A. Both are Downtown Denver happy hour goodies, and you be the judge...

Q. What is the name of the greenest pot shop in the Denver area?
A. The Releaf Center.

Mile High Pick-Up Line: Wow, your eyes are as green as Denver, Colorado!

Blunt Boulder Bull Sh*t: Mork and Mindy were both from Ork (A.K.A. Boulder).

Q. Why does Denver have such a wide demographic range of ages that consume legal marijuana?
A. I25 and I70.

(By the way, I25 through Denver has always been called The Valley Highway! So, DON'T MOVE HERE NOW and legislate to RENAME IT, dickweeds!)

When David Banner gets mad, he turns into Denver, Colorado. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into Boulder.

Going green, Colorado style, is how The Hulk mellows back into Bruce.

Colorado Cannabis Trivia: Frozen Dead Guy Day is an actual holiday and festival in Nederland, CO – thanks to the discovery of frozen dead guy, Bredo Morstoel in 1994. Nederland is in Boulder County. Figures.

Q. Why is the new Denver Weed and Vodka pub doing so well?
A. Because everyone who visits there is in high spirits.

Q. How do stoner rainbow trout in Denver party?
A. They participate in a seaweed pride parade on 13th Street.

Mile High 420-ism: Hey Denver, Just Doob It!

Q. Why don't folks in Denver, Colorado have to get high even though they legally can?
A. Because they're already a mile high!

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