Q. What is a Sasquatch's favorite Colorado festival?
A. Frozen Dead Guy Day in Nederland.

Q. What happens if you actually find Bigfoot in Colorado?
A. You also find big toes!

Q. Why did the stock broker go to Vail?
A. He wanted to meet moguls.

Q. How many Colorado ski bums does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Ski bums don't screw in light bulbs. They screw in hot tubs!

Q. Why was that Denver locksmith comedian so knee-slapping funny at Comedy Works?
A. Because he had such a keen sense of humor.

In Colorado, it's likely you know somebody named Ganjapreneur, Tokecoon, or Warren Puffet.

LoDo Pick-Up Line: Hey, would you consider a 3-way light bulb? You, me, and Maryjane.

FYI: Being bouldered in Boulder could get you into trouble, but being denvered in Denver is just another Saturday night.

Q. Why did the blonde tourist smack her camera with a frying pan?
A. She wanted a pan-o-ram-ic shot of Pike's Peak!

Colorado Point to Ponder: The difference between hill and hell is just a fine line.

Q. What do Colorado brown bears call campers in sleeping bags?
A. Soft Tacos!

Colorado Factoid: Getting to the top of the mountain is great fun, but it's all downhill from there.

Q. Which is a stoner's favorite Colorado Symphony Orchestra song?
A. Beethoven's 420 Symphony.

Q. What kind music should you listen to in a rockslide delay on I70 between Georgetown and Bakerville, Colorado?
A. Rolling Stones!

Colorado Cannabis-ism: Weed my lips!

Colorado Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, my friend and I are having a bake sale. Wanna joint us?

Colorado Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey, what kind of grinder are you using? 'Cause you are extra fine!

Q. How do pirates from Arrrvada cheer for the Denver Broncos?
A. Aye, me Buckos!

Q. How much would a pirate pay for Denver Broncos season tickets?
A. An arm and a leg.

Q. Why did the chatty pirate relocate to Denver?
A. He got a job as Nine News Anchor.

Q. How do pirates get to the Denver Airport?
A. They go by carrrrr!

A book never written: Where to Stay in Aurora by Moe Tell.

Q. Why is Colorado globally known as the High Country?
A. Peak Scenery, Bud!

Q. What do you call a really smart blonde in Aurora, Colorado?
A. A Golden Retriever.

Colorado Cannabis Pick-Up Line: Hey, I don't even need a lighter because you're already on fire!

Colorado 420 Pick-Up Line: Hey, I'm feeling a little off today, but I bet you could turn me on!

Hey Colorado: Let's blow this joint!

Did you hear about the Denver Broncos player with the negative attitude? He always says, "Neigh."

Q. How does a Broncos fan describe a team loss at an away game?
A. Road Apples!

Q. How can you tell if your Denver chicken is a comedian?
A. She tells funny yolks at Comedy Works that really crack you up.

Q. Why do chickens think Colorado native jokes are so funny?
A. Because they're cheep and made up from scratch!

Did you hear about the Colorado mountain climber who broke his left arm and left leg? He's all right now.

Q. How did the blonde hipster drown in Colorado?
A. She ice skated on Evergreen Lake before it was cool.

Q. Why does everybody in Denver brew pubs look so young for their age?
A. Because you're only as old ales you feel.

Q. What do you call a haunted house in Denver with a ghost who can't make the mortgage payments?
A. Repossessed.

Q. What does a waiter say to the bus boy after Bronco fans finish their victory dinner?
A. Clear the Stable!

Q. How are Denver Broncos' fans using the F-word this season?
A. Oh Flacco!

Denver Broncos Pick-Up Line: Hay Mare, you're so hot, I'd let you penetrate my defense.

Q. Why don't skeletons play on the Denver Broncos team?
A. They are big-boned enough, but they only have enough heart to play for the Denver Nuggets.

Q. What did the newly divorced Colorado brewer name the newest version of his Celebration Ale?
A. Celebration Fail.

Q. What happens after Denver writers have had enough craft beer?
A. Hop-literation!

If you're new to Colorado, always get the details from your beer tender or bud tender before you order the seasonal 420 Craft Beer or any dank libatation named Green Flash or Green Flush!

Q. Which seasonal Colorado craft beer is only available for two days?
A. Hoppy New Year.

Q. What do Coloradans call a spaced alien on marijuana?
A. A High Flyer!

Q. Why do spaced aliens call Denver the Mile High City?
A. 5280 pot shops.

LoDo 2 a.m. Pick-Up Line: Hey, I'll let you hit this, if I can tap that!

Q. What to you call flying solo in the Mile High Club?
A. Touring the cockpit!

Blunt Boulder Bull Sh*t: Mork and Mindy were both from Ork (A.K.A. Boulder).

Q. How can you tell a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She thinks a quarterback is change for a buck.

Q. How can you tell that a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She can't understand why all those guys are beating each other up over 25 cents.

Q. Which Denver Broncos football play should you be especially suspicious of?
A. The quarterback sneak.

Q. What do the cops say when they arrive during your Denver Broncos party?
A. Dish is the Police!

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