Q. What do Denver craft brewers say about competitor brands in Kansas?
A. Don't let them get the yeast of you.

Q. Why are Denver backyard chicken jokes so funny?
A. They scratch your itch for puns.

Q. Why did the blonde take her bra off while attending a show at Comedy Works in downtown Denver?
A. Because she liked to laugh her straps off!

Patient: I think I'm a bridge on I25!
Mile High Doctor: What's come over you?
Patient: Several cars, a semi, and a driverless beer truck.

Q. What did the Denver Broncos' cheerleader yell to the ghosts in the stadium?
A. Show me your team spirit!

Q. Why does everybody in Denver brew pubs look so young for their age?
A. Because you're only as old ales you feel.

Q. Why do hairy men love Colorado craft beer pubs during No Shave November?
A. Because in Denver, that's Novem-Beered.

Q. Which kind of motor oil does Darth Vader use while tooling around the streets of Denver on vacation?
A. Sithetic.

Did you hear about the nurse that died and went to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work at Denver Health Medical Center anymore.

Q. What sort of humor do Denver comedian chickens tell at Comedy Works Downtown?
A. Funny Yolks.

Q. What do you call flying solo in the Mile High Club?
A. Autopilot!

Q. How did passengers from 1936 to 1973 describe a cross-country trip taken on the Denver Zephyr?
A. Relaxing and planeless.

Air Travel Point to Ponder: If you joined the Mile High Club solo, is that considered a High Jacking?

Q. What did the horny eyeball join after leaving Denver International Airport?
A. The Mile Eye Club!

Q. Who is haunting the KFC near Littleton Cemetery?
A. Info at Bemis Library said it's a poultry-geist.

Q. What should you bake to celebrate a successful fall cactus garden in Broomfield?
A. Sticky buns!

Q. Why wasn't the brew chemist in Golden convicted on hopped up charges?
A. The jury wasn't convinced beyond a shadow of a stout.

LoDo Pick-Up Line: Wow, wanna blow this joint? 'Cause you are smokin'!

Q. Why did the Denver 16th Street Mall cop arrest the off-key street musician with no rhythm?
A. Because he was a beat cop.

Q. Why did the septic tank technician become a crime reporter on Denver7 News?
A. Because he was a true pro at digging up a lot of sh*t.

Q. What did Denver CBS 4 News call their story about Bigfoot sightings?
A. Eye Scene Sasquatch.

Q. What do Denver weathermen call it when chickens and ducks suddenly fall out of the sky?
A. Fowl Weather.

Q. What happens after Denver writers have had enough craft beer?
A. Hop-literation!

Q. Why did the master gardener give up on the the assessment of the shrubbery with the Arvada home owner?
A. He couldn't get a word in hedge-wise.

A book never written: Where to Stay in Aurora by Moe Tell.

Q. Why do retired Denver cops refer to themselves at the barbershop as ex law enforcement?
A. Mustache you ask?

Q. If Dr. Seuss visited a Denver brew pub, which beer would he order?
A. Hop on Pop!

Mile High Cookout Lovers Humor: Brought a new grill home last night. She's a real gas and she's really hot, especially after you turn her on!

Q. What did the newly divorced Denver brew master name the newest version of his Celebration Ale?
A. Celebration Fail.

Q. What did the LoDo Denver blonde do when she heard most accidents happen within 10 miles of home?
A. She moved a mile further out.

Q. What do you call a fantasy piece written by an author while at a Colorado brew pub?
A. An hoptical allusion.

Q. Are there many Colorado Cannivores in Denver?
A. Yes, medible ents and cannafoodies are quite common in the Mile High city.

Q. Why was the big Denver dog still eating?
A. That blue brand grass-fed bison dog food gave him the munchies.

Q. What is the medical term for owning too many dogs in the City and County of Denver?
A. Roverdose.

Q. Why are there so many more Bigfoot sightings in the Denver foothills lately?
A. Because Squatches moved here, just like everybody else!

Q. What do you call a Colorado Sasquatch that enjoys craft beer?
A. The Hopominable Snowman!

With the rise of self-driving vehicles, isn't it just a matter of time before we hear a country song where the guy's truck leaves him, too?

Q. Which movie Jim Carrey movie was filmed in Denver?
A. Me, Myself, and I25.

Q. What do prisoners in Denver County lockup eat for breakfast?
A. Jail-y Donuts.

Mile High City 420-ism: Just Doob It!

Q. What sensation really gives a Canada goose in Cheesman Park the creeps?
A. Goose bumps.

My suitcase started to cry when I picked it up off the baggage carousel at DIA. I guess I'm carrying emotional baggage.

Q. What is the most insane new Denver craft beer?
A. One Brew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Q. Why did the Denver weatherman prefer Colorado craft beer?
A. Because his head is in the cloud.

Q. Why did the blonde frantically run around outside in Downtown Denver with her purse open?
A. She heard they were expecting some change in the weather.

Q. What do Denverites call poetry by a pigeon out in a marijuana field?
A. High Coo!

Q. Which Colorado craft beer is popular at CU?
A. Barley Legal Ale.

Q. What is next year's grand prize in the Denver Chapter Time Travel Club raffle?
A. A trip to a winning season in the near future. Go Broncos!

Q. Why was the duck put in the Denver Nuggets game?
A. To make a fowl shot.

Q. Which LoDo Denver brew pub can Millennials relate to, thus whine about the most?
A. The Hop, Skip, and Jump!

Q. Why can't basketball players, other than the Nuggets, vacation in Denver?
A. Because they'd be called for traveling.

Q. What do time traveling aliens call their little green vacation in the Mile High City?
A. Time Off!

Q. What did the unhappy guy say after his limb replacement surgery was botched at Denver Health Medical Center?
A. I'll kill 'em with my bear hand!

Q. What is the new and improved slogan of the Aurora Notel on E Colfax?
A. Not Just For Nooners Anymore!

Q. Why are hobby chicken coops becoming so popular in the Denver burbs?
A. 'Cause chickens are the pets that poop breakfast. EW!

Q. Why do Denver chicken jokes keep getting dumber and dumber?
A. Because new chicks are making them up now!

Q. Why do Denver area stoners spend so much money?
A. Because they're high rollers!

Mile High Pick-Up Line: Wow, your eyes are as green as Colorado!

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