Colorado Fact: If you don't like the weaterh, just wait five minutes! - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Colorado Wisdom: If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes, and take cover in the lowest spot during a thunder storm!
Chimp chef says: After Colorado legalized marijuana, there were a few hours of peace followed by a statewide food shortage!
Q. Why is Denver known as the Mile High City? A. Um, what was the question , again?
Never go hiking with a serial killer in Colorado! Just give hm free reign on the psycho path!
You might be from Colorado if you vaguely remember this guy from college!


Are You From Colorado Jokes & Miles High Humor
Rise up to Rocky Mountain humor, Colorado native jokes, and high-minded Coloradan puns.

Colorado Native Jokes and Rocky Mountain Humor
(Because High Altitude Humor and Stony Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're From Colorado!)
Warning: Ascend with Caution! Rocky Mountain puns, miles high humor, and Colorado native jokes ahead.
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism Jokes | Mountain Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons | Mile High Club |
| Denver Jokes | Colorado Sports | Skier Jokes | Go Broncos! | Hiking Jokes | Colorado Weather |

You might be from Colorado if you know the names of all the hot peppers and can eat them without hurting yourself!You might be from Denver if your sense of direction is toward the mountains and away from the mountains!Alien in a weed field says: You might be from Colorado if this guy was your college roomate!

Q. What do Coloradans call a tortilla chip that works out?
A. A Macho Nacho.

Q. What is a spicy Colorado taco's favorite movie?
A. Catch Me If You Cayenne.

Q. Why don't Denverites trust a burrito?
A. Because it might spill the beans!

Patient: Doc, I think I'm a Taco Bell.
Denver Shrink: Take two bean burritos. If that doesn't clear the mental block, just give me a ring in the morning.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever put avocados in your eyes when you're in a Colorado restaurant?
A. So you don't get guac-oma.

Q. Why is it so hard to find a Denver hipster dog's bone?
A. Because it buried so far underground!

Q. Why did the mortician vacation in the Mile High City?
A. Because there are so many things to do in Denver when you're dead.

Q. What's the main problem with Denver Police jokes?
A. The cops don't think they're funny, and private citizens are afraid to laugh at them!

Q. Why are Denver Front Range puns so funny?
A. Because they really peak your interest!

Q. What is the official flower of I70 through Denver, Colorado?
A. The concrete cloverleaf.

Coloradan Gossip of the Day: Did you hear about the spaced aliens who were planning to rob a Denver pot shop? First, they had to case the joint.

Q. How are England and Colorado alike?
A. England has Stonehenge and Colorado has stoned hedges!

Q. How can you tell a Colorado organic farmer is a true expert?
A. He is out standing in his manure!

Q. How can you tell blooming funny Colorado gardener jokes are bad?
A. When they're a real pain in the aster.

Q. How do you know if you're a bad Colorado gardener?
A. All the rocks in your garden went belly up!

You might be from Littleton if you fondly remember woodsies at Daniel's Park!You might be from Colorado if you've seen Bigfoot in a driverless beer truck on I25!Bull asks: Did you hear about the guy who died eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull dragged him more than a mile!

Q. What is any Coloradan's favorite annual unoffical beer drinking holiday in Denver?
A. Hop-toberfest.

Q. Who was the first Wild West brew pub entrepreneur in Colorado?
A. Hop Along Cask-ity.

Colorado is butte-iful! See, beauty IS in the eye of the beer holder.

Demographers and marketers try to lump beer drinkers into their labels. See, that's their first mistake. Colorado craft beer drinkers don't like labels!

Q. What do you call a Colorado Sasquatch that enjoys craft beer?
A. The Hopominable Snowman!

Colorado Point to Ponder: Bigfoot and the moniker Front Range Foothills. Coincidence or not?

Q. What excuse did Bigfoot have for abducting a pretty girl in Woodland Park?
A. She brought out the beast in me!

Q. What did Bigfoot do after he retired from the Colorado Springs Police Department?
A. He became a Night Squatchman.

Q. What did the Colorado grill master say to the Oregon vegan?
A. Sorry, I can't listen to your rantings right now. More important things are at steak!

Q. What do Colorado ranchers call a bull that pleasures himself?
A. Beef-Strokin'-Off!

Today's Bull Sh*t Point to Ponder:
Is an argument between two Colorado vegans still called a beef?

Q. How can Colorado natives tell if steaks have a high I.Q.?
A. They loin fast.

You might be from Colorado if you've seen this exhibit at the Natural History Museum!Horse says: You might be from Colorado if an avalance is coming and you're wearing Broncos blinders!You might be from Denver if you listen to KtCL and know Nerf isn't just a toy!

Q. What did Denver CBS 4 News call their story about Bigfoot sightings?
A. Eye Scene Sasquatch.

Did you hear about the Teller County sasquatch who broke up with his lady in the fog? Now he's known as Girl-less in the Mist.

Sasquatch Point to Ponder: Why do most Colorado Bigfoot sightings occur in the High Country?

Q. Why do Colorado natives say you should stay a mile high?
A. Because the view is amazing up here!

Q. Why does toilet paper like alpine skiing on Colorado slopes?
A. That's the fastest way to the bottom.

Q. What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
A. It knocked him out cold!

Q. Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
A. Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.

Q. Why did the novice Colorado skier expect the worst when he finally got to the top of the slopes at Vail?
A. Because it's only downhill from there...

Q. Which Colorado craft beer was discontinued because it caused boisterous bar behavior?
A. Stout It Out Loud.

Q. Which craft beer does a zombie on the run consume at a Colorado brew pub?
A. Green Flesh.

Q. Why did the hipster tube down the High Line Canal south of Denver?
A. Because the South Platte River was too mainstream.

A magician walks into an Aurora, Colorado alley and turns into a bra.

You might be from Colorado if you think "humid" is anything over 25%!You might be from Denver if you remember Jake Jabs playing the guitar at Evo's Time Out bar in Littleton!You might be from Colorado if you'd rather run with the squatch, than run away!

Q. What did one Colorado raindrop say to the other?
A. Two's company. Three's a cloud.

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do night owls hoot about?
A. Hop Around the Clock.

Q. What did the Denver-ized Canada goose say when it was cold?
A. Brrrd!

Q. What did the Colorado storm cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A. You're shocking.

Q. Which retro Colorado craft beer is best for crying into?
A. Tears for Beers.

Q. What is the most insane new Colorado craft beer?
A. One Brew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Q. If the Denver Zoo opened a brew pub, which beer would they serve?
A. Hungry Hungry Hoppos.

Colorado Brew Pub Pick-Up Line: Girl, you owe me a beer 'cause I spilled mine when you walked by.

Q. What's the difference between a man and a Pike National Forest Sasquatch?
A. One's covered in matted hair and smells bad. The other has big feet.

Q. Why are Sasquatches Hairy?
A. Because they're not Tom or Dick.

Q. Why are the Colorado ski slopes so funny?
A. Because they're hill areas!

Q. Where do werewolves stay when they vacation in Aspen?
A. The Howliday Inn.

| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Nightlife LOLs | Denver Cop Jokes | Denver Dog Puns | Rocky Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cuisine and Munchies Jokes | Colorado Chile Pepper Puns |
| Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Denver Humor | Legal Weed Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes |
| Water LOLs | Colorado Weather Jokes | Cool Weather | 2 | Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |

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