Wild Animal Pun: Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot!   PainfulPuns.com - Garden Puns, Green Jokes, Grow Groans!

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Q. What did the tree say to the wind? A. Leaf me alone!


Gardening Jokes, Plant Puns, Backyard Humor
Cultivate a banner crop of funny garden jokes, ground-breaking humor, and dirty puns.

Garden Jokes, Rocky Puns, Cultivating Humor
(Because Down and Dirty Garden Puns Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Backyard Gardeners)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. Weedy funny garden jokes, buggy humor, and thorny puns ahead.
| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs BunnyWildlife Pun: Male deer have buck teeth!Q. Why are rivers always rich? A. Because they have two banks.

Gardening Point to Ponder: Did you realize the shovel was a ground-breaking invention?

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

Q. What is a stag's favorite part of gardening?
A. Getting down and dirty with his hoes.

Q. Why couldn't the bachelor gardener's horse go faster than a walk?
A. He Cant-a-loupe.

A lot of trees were dying, but to save them, experts needed to figure out the root of the problem.

Q. Why didn't the lady gardener marry her beau?
A. Because he was too rough around the hedges.

Hulk with Pot Leaves: Old Growers Never Die, They Just Go to SeedQ. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? A. Because They Cantaloupe!Q. What is a honeymoon salad? A. Lettuce alone with no dressing.

The research assistant couldn't experiment with plants because he hadn't botany.

Gardening pick-up line: Babe, you look radishing tonight!

Q. Why did the corn get sent to jail?
A. He was caught stalking one sweet tomato.

Gardener's anti pick-up line: Dude, I don't carrot all!

Q. Where do apples love to vacation?
A. Fuji.

Please romaine calm and enjoy your fresh garden salad!

Q. What is a mouse's favorite game? A. Hide and SqueakOh, give me a gnome where the buffalo roam.Animal Pun: Did you hear about the snake that gave birth to a bouncing baby boa?

Q. What is a gardener's favorite court sport?
A. Squash.

Q. What is a gardener's least fave British Invasion tribute band?
A. The Japanese Beetles!

Anti pick-up line: Everybody in your family must be a cactus, because you're a real prick.

It's evergreen and related to the pine but has no cones – Perhaps yew can tell me just what conifer tree it is?

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. Where's pop?

Q. How does a snake invite visitors to his garden?
A. Every Birdie's Welcome!

Punny Riddle: Q. What happens to illegally parked frogs? A. They get toad away.I used to be a road digger, but I got retrenched.Gnome Meme: Old Botanists Never Die, They Just Go to Pot

Q. What is a frog's favorite flower?
A. Croak-us!

Q. What sign was posted on the wizard's garden gate?
A. Beware of the Snap Dragons.

Q. What do garden hoes say when they pray?
A. Please bless my bloomers.

Q. Why did the blonde gardener plant light bulbs?
A. She wanted to grow a power plant!

Q. What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard?
A. A Joint Family.

Q. What did the gardener say to the invasive bindweed?
A. Let grow of me, @#$%!

| Blooming Funny Garden Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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