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Funny
Cop Jokes, Police Puns, Jailhouse Humor
Steal
away with barely legal laughs, prison humor, irresistable puns,
and policeman jokes.
Police Officer Jokes, Cop Puns, Trooper Humor
(Because Stolen Laughs, Hot
Puns, and Criminal Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream
in Cell Block D!) |
Warning:
Proceed Carefully! High ticket humor, slammer jokes, cell block
laughs and forceful police puns ahead.
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns | 2
| 3 | 4 |
5 | 6 | 7
| 8 | 9 |
Arresting Jokes | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Gun
Jokes | Explosion Jokes, Bomb
Puns | Killer Humor |
| Lawyer Jokes | Judge
Jokes | Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Weed Jokes | Denver
Cop Jokes |
Q.
Why did the police officer cry after making the arrest?
A. It was a moving violation.
Q.
How does the Denver Police Department grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.
Q.
How can a pregnant woman tell she's carrying a future policeman?
A. She has uncontrollable cravings for pork.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Please step
out of the vehicle and walk a straight line into my
life. |
Q.
Why did the Denver police arrest the craft brewer?
A. He was accused of a-malt and beer-tery.
Q.
Why were the police called to the daycare center?
A. A three-year-old was resisting a rest!
Blonde:
There are hundreds of dead people and a cannibal here!
Police Dispatcher: Where are you?
Blonde: Littleton Cemetery.
Policeman
Point to Ponder: What do cops do with their nightstick in
the morning?
|
Q.
Why did the cop ticket the computer?
A. Because it was speeding along the information highway!
Q.
What do you call a cell phone message from a prison inmate
who just escaped?
A. Out of Context.
Q.
What did Bigfoot do after he retired from the Colorado Springs
Police Department?
A. He became a Night Squatchman.
Police
Pick-Up Line: No Officer,
I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by the amazing six-pack
under your vest. |
Q.
Why did the Colorado blonde, driving the car with the wild
paint job, get pulled over?
A. The Cherry Hills cops said it was a graphic violation.
Q.
What do you call a lady cop who plays the guitar?
A. She Riff.
Q.
Who wrote the book, Supermax Prison Security?
A. Barb D. Wyre.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Hey Blue
Man, I hear cops like a big bust. |
Q.
Why did the Denver 16th Street Mall cop arrest the off-key
street musician with no rhythm?
A. Because he was a beat cop.
Q.
What happened to the robber who stole the street lamp?
A. He got a light sentence.
Q.
How did the inmate get PTSD?
A. Cell Shock.
Q.
What did the burglar say to the clock shop owner as he was
tying him up?
A. Sorry to take so much of your precious time.
|
Q.
What is the difference between a lady police officer and
a pitbull?
A. The pitbull looks good in lipstick.
Q.
What should you never say if you get pulled over by the
Denver Police on 13th Avenue?
A. Are you the guy from the Village People?
Q.
What do you call a weird guy who goes around stealing handrails
from staircases?
A. A banister banisher.
Q.
What do you call a famous inmate?
A. A Cell-ibrity. |
Q.
What excuse did the art museum thief give the police officer?
A. I've been framed!
Q.
Why won't you ever catch sight of a sasquatch on
Lookout Mountain?
A. Jeffco Sheriff's Office is looking into that.
Q.
What did the burglar say to the woman who caught him stealing
her silver?
A. I am at your service, ma'am.
Police
Pick-Up Line: You're so
fine that I forgot my pick up line. |
Q.
What's the main problem with police jokes?
A. Cops don't think they're funny, and private citizens
are afraid to laugh at them!
Q.
Why did the Colorado State Patrol recruit the South Park
cow?
A. Because she was a natural at udder cover work.
Q.
Why are cops such excellent volley ball players?
A. Because they know how to serve and protect.
|
Q.
What do you call a blonde policeman?
A. A fair cop!
Police
Pick Up Line: I'm writing you
a ticket 'cause you have fine written all over
you.
Q.
What is a convict's favorite fishing lure?
A. Jail bait.
Did
you know Bigfoot works as a cop in Denver? Of course not,
he's undercover!
Q.
Why did the cops arrest a fellow pig?
A. Because he was a pigpocket. |
Q.
How many policemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just one, but he's never around when you need him.
Q.
What happened when the big rig full of toilet paper crashed
on the busy street?
A. Police expect the scene to be backed up for
quite a while.
Did
you hear about the carrot detective? It got to the root
of every case.
Q.
What do the cops say when they arrive during your Denver
Broncos party?
A. Dish is the Police! |
Q.
What happened when the truckload of toilet paper crashed
on the highway?
A. When cops arrived at the scene, they asked if it was
a roll-over or a roll-under.
Q.
Which kind of stars end up in jail?
A. Shooting stars.
Q.
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Al Capone?
A. A blood thirsty fangster.
Q.
What happened to the kid who ran away with the circus?
A. The cops made him bring it back...
|
Q.
What is it called when you convert a morgue worker into
a spy?
A. Turning the Coroner.
Q.
What happened when the shipment of toilet paper crashed
on the freeway?
A. Police described the scene as a real wipe-out.
Q.
Why do retired Denver cops refer to themselves at the barbershop
as ex law enforcement?
A. Mustache you ask?
Q.
How can you tell when a dirty cop is lying?
A. His lips are moving. |
|
Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes
| 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 |
9 | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Detective Jokes | Traffic
Cop Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor
| Judge Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
Explosive Bomb Puns |
| Denver Cop Puns | Arresting
Jokes | Animal Crimie Jokes
| Farm Criminal LOLs, Cow Cop Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Lawyer
Jokes, Attorney Puns | Killer Friday
13th LOLs |
| Fireman Jokes, Arson Puns | Military
Jokes, Soldier Puns | Politician
Jokes, Political Puns |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug
Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero
Puns |
| Job Jokes | Actor
Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut
Puns | Athlete Jokes | Auto
Mechanic Puns |
| Baker Jokes | Bartender
Jokes | Chef Puns | Electrician
Jokes | Home Contractor Humor
|
| Locksmith Puns | Magician
| Musician | Plumber
| Psychic Jokes | Shrink
Puns | Tech Support |
You've speeded along
this far, so here's even more high
ticket
humor,
forceful jokes, and
cooler painful puns to keep
you out of the slammer:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Beer Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Bloody Funny Puns |
Colorado Jokes | Dog
Jokes | Fitness Humor | Friday
Jokes |
| Hipster Jokes | Music
Jokes | Phone Jokes |
Pick-Up Lines | Pig Jokes | Pirate
Jokes | Road Crossing Jokes |
| Sasquatch Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Stoner Jokes | Superman
Jokes | Travel Puns |
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