Q. What kind of metal is common inside a police station?
A. Copper.

Q. What did the CSI team find in the clean nose?
A. Fingerprints.

Police Pick-Up Line: Officer, that uniform is very becoming on you. But if I were on you, I'd be coming, too.

Q. What is a prison warden's favorite type of battery?
A. Duracell!

Q. What did the blonde policewoman wear to the stake out?
A. An underwire bra!

Q. Why was the cannibal cop arrested?
A. He was caught grilling his suspects!

Blonde Beat: Did you hear that the cops are looking for a guy with one eye? Geez, why don't they use both?

Q. What is a policeman's favorite summer vegetable?
A. Corn on the cop.

Q. Which animal has an asshole halfway up his back?
A. A police horse.

Cop: When I pulled you over, I guessed 55.
Matronly Suspect: No sir, it's just my hat that makes me look like that.

Q. Why did the grammarian appeal his conviction verdict?
A. Because the sentence was way too long.

Q. Wanna hear a really cold cop joke?
A. Freeze!

Undercover Cop Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, you look cold. Wanna share my blanket?

Q. What do you call a blonde police officer?
A. A fair cop!

Q. Which three letters of the alphabet frighten criminals most?
A. F.B.I.

Police Pick-Up Line: Are you on the FBI Most Wanted List? 'Cause you are on the top of my list.

Q. What is a criminal lawyer?
A. Redundant.

Q. What did the burglar say to the clock shop owner as he was tying him up?
A. Sorry to take so much of your precious time.

Q. Which famous shoe salesman joined the police force?
A. Buster Brown.

Constable Pick-Up Line: What are you doing with your Bobby night stick later tonight?

Bobby Pick-Up Line: Don't you just love a man in uniform?

Q. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?
A. A cellfie.

Q. How did the criminal get into counterfeitting?
A. He answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."

Q. Why did the blonde brassiere salesman stop by the police station?
A. Duh! Seriously?

Q. Why do pens get sent to prison?
A. To do long sentences.

Q. Why was ink sent back to prison?
A. For escaping from the pen.

Q. What is it called when a cop puts a suspect in the back seat of his cruiser?
A. In-car-ceration.

Q. Why did the burglar take a shower?
A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!

Blonde: There are hundreds of dead people and a cannibal here!
Police Dispatcher: Where are you?
Blonde: Littleton Cemetery.
(Alferd Packer, confessed cannibal, is buried in Littleton, Colorado)

What not to say when you get pulled over:
Are you the guy from the Village People?

Police Pick-Up Line: Love, if you cock my revolver, it's likely to go off.

Q. Why did the policeman arrest the off-key musician with no rhythm?
A. Because he was a beat cop.

Q. Why was the Oscar-winning actor arrested?
A. For stealing the show.

Q. Why did the janitor call DPD to Coors Field during the Rockies game?
A. Somebody was selling Rocky Mountain Oysters in the stands, and he didn't want to clean up all the vomit after the balls dropped.

Q. What happened to the robber who stole all the light bulbs at the police station?
A. He got a light sentence.

Q. How does the Denver Police Department grill a chicken?
A. Knock her down on the pavement and repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. Which police interrogator wrote the book, Getting At the Truth?
A. Paul E. Graff.

Q. Why was the building put in handcuffs?
A. It was a house arrest.

Q. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world?
A. Because he can hold up a 10-Ton truck with his hand.

Grandpa got his first cell phone and it was an iPhone. The first time he used it, he called his son saying in a panic, "I'm going to jail! It says I'm going to Face Time!"

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