How do alien poets write their poetry?
A. In Uni-verses.
What is long, slippery, and always phones home while sightseeing?
A. E.T. The Extra Tourist Eel.
Point to Ponder: What if aliens are responsible for Global
Warming and they did it just to break the ice?
What is the difference between E.T. and an illegal alien?
A. E.T. learned to speak English, and then he went home.
What does E.T. use to fasten his spaceship to the docking
A. An astro-knot.
What do you get if you cross a college student and an alien?
A. A big brain from another univers-ity!
When aliens made a movie about the Terran System, why did
they come back for more Earthlings?
A. They needed some extra terrestrials.
Which kind of car did aliens like to drive when touring
the USA during the 1990s?
A. E.T. Cruisers.
Which television series is the favorite of aliens and the
A. Ancient Aliens.
Why can't lawyers ever find loopholes in contracts with
A. Because they're always airtight.
What do you call a sick extraterrestrial?
A. An Ailin' Alien!
green aliens were sitting at the Space Bar. One says, "Gjfk
yuto z crpxit!" The other says, "Dude, go
home. You're drunk!"
What comes from outer space and moves really slowly?
What do you call a little green spaceman with three eyes?
What do you call an insane green space man?
A. An Astro-Nut!