Q. How do ye make a pirate furious? A. Take away his P!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Which are the only notes a pirate vocalists can hit? A. The high Cs!
Q. Why is pirating so addictive? A. Because once ye lose yar first hand, ye are hooked!
Q. How can you tell a pirate likes new hi-tech gadgets? A. He uses an iPatch!
Q. Why did the pirate cross the road? A. To reach the second hand shop!
Q. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A. Arrr? No, the C is his love!
Pirate Pick-Up Line: Are you a pirate? 'Cause I'm wondering whre you got that booty!
Pirate Pick-Up Line: Surrender Your Booty!


Sea Marauder Puns, Aye Humor, Booty Jokes
Get hooked up with C-level humor, shore fire pirate jokes, mayday laughs and distressing puns.

Pirate Jokes, Irate Pirate Puns, Arr Humor
(Because Pirate Jokes and Booty Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Mates Sailing the Aye Seas!)
Warning: Ride the Waves at Your Own Peril! Arr-rated humor, salty pirate jokes, and patchy puns ahead.
| Pirate Jokes and Arr-ful Buccaneer Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Salty Pirate Pick-Up Lines |
| Arr! Talk Like A Pirate Jokes | 2 | High Seas Humor, Boat Jokes, Sea Captain Puns | 2 | Sealife |
| Pirate Cuisine Jokes and Salty Food Puns | Seafood Jokes, Crusty Crab Humor, Fish Fry Puns |
| Sport Fishing Jokes and Fisherman Puns | Fishy Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Groggy Jokes |

Q. Why do pirates make great lawyers? A. Pirates have very good arrrguments!Q. Why do pirates always win dance contests? A. They know how to shake their booties!Q Why did the pirate go on vacation? A. He needed some aRRR and aRRR!

Q. Why was the caged pirate dressed like a lawyer?
A. So he could pass through the baRRRs.

Q. Why do pirates like the game of golf?
A. They always shoot paRRR.

Q. During which time period did the sea captain put out the most distress calls?
A. During his mayday heyday.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye wench! Ye wanna see me Davy Jones?

Q. Why don't pirates play sports?
A. Because there's no AYE in TEAM!

Q. Which music genre do pirates prefer?
A. ARRR 'n B.

Q. What song does a pirate sing when he walks the plank?
A. Wait by Maroon 5.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Nay my lady, that's not an echo. Me parrot finds you lovely, too.

Q. Why are pirates bad Rummy players?
A. It's hard to play cards when you're sitting on the deck.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Ahoy my lady! There's no fee to get a ride aboard me ship.

Q. What did the sea say to the captain of the pirate ship?
A. Nothing. It just waved.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: My lady, I'm just a pirate looking for some booty.

Q. How did the pirate becoe a lawyer? A. He passed the Barrr Exam!Pirate Pick-Up Line: So you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?Q. Why do pirates cry all alone? A. Because they have private tears!

Q. Why are pirates so great at the game of golf?
A. They know how to avoid a hook shot.

Q. What did the pirate captain name the ship's calico cat?
A. Patches.

Q. Which side of his ship does a pirate try to avoid?
A. The outside.

Q. Why did the pirate become an aRRcheaologist?
A. He enjoyed hunting for skulls and crossed bones.

Q. Why do pirates always win the Halloween dance competition?
A. 'Cause pirates really shake that booty!

Q. What's the worst part of cleaning a pirate's ship?
A. The poop deck, but the barnacles are the hardest thing to clean – other than their Net surfing history.

Q. What crime was the pyromaniac pirate accused of?
A. ARRson.

Q . Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
A. Because B-shells were too small.

Q. Which famous pirate captain was the saddest?
A. Bluebeard.

Q. What do you call an unfortunate pirate with no aye?
A. P_rate!

Q. How did the pirate get down off the ship's mast?
A. He didn't. You can only get down off a goose!

Q. How do pirates stop a buccaneer war to acheive a ceasefire?
A. They sign an aRRmistice.

Q. How does a pirate stop computer hackers? A. He installs a patch!Q. What kind of socks do pirates wear? A. Arrrgyles!To err is human. To arr is pirate!

Q. What do pirates use their cell phones for?
A. Booty calls.

Q. Why did the pirate buy an eye patch?
A. Because he couldn't afford an iPad.

Q. Why do pirates love the night?
A. Because they do not fear the daRRRk.

Q. How did the optometrist greet his new pirate patient?
A. Aye, aye!

Q. What does a pirate use to remedy security issues in his computer?
A. An eye patch.

Q. How does a landlubber pirate get to the top of a skyscraper?
A. He takes the elevatoRRR!

Q. How are trumpets like pirates?
A. They both murder in the high Cs.

Q. Why do pirates like to be on shore leave for Thanksgiving?
A. They're always asked to caRRRve the turkey!

Q. Where do pirates spend the night on shore leave?
A. At the ARRmada Inn.

High Seas Point to Ponder: Does the book about the moon's effects on the world’s oceans have a tidal page?

Q. What is the name of the Black Pearl's extra captain?
A. Jack Spare-row.

Q. In which U.S. state do elderly pirates prefer to retire?
A. ARRizona.

Pirates know that playing the hautboy (oboe) is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded. You don't have to be very good to get a lot of people's attention!

Q. Which fish do pirates like the most? A. The Swordfish!Q. Which USA state is the favorite of pirates? A. Arrkansas!Q. Where does a buccaneer go out for dinner? A. Long John Silvers!

Q. Which famous pirate Captain actually caught the most fish?
A. Captain Hook!

Q. What does a pirate put on his toast?
A. Jelly Roger.

Pick-Up a Pirate Line: Aye laddie, come show me how ye bury that treasure.

Q. Where do Colorado pirates go to have a few too many drinks at Cherry Creek Reservoir?
A. The Sand Bar.

Q. Which country is the favorite of pirates?
A. ARRRgentina.

Q. Which state should the Buccaneers football team move to?
A. Arrrkansas!

Q. What did the pirate say when asked if he was happy to spot land?
A. I shore am!

Q. Why didn't the pirate tourist enjoy the concert at Red Rocks Amphitheatre?
A. Because he was in the last row.

Q. Which kind of potato chips do pirates prefer?
A. BaRRRbeque flavor.

Q. Where do pirates store their cookies aboard ship?
A. In a cookie jaRRR.

Q. What is the preferred breakfast cereal of pirates?
A. Cap'n Crunch.

Q. Where do pirates get their moonshine?
A. ARRRkansas.

Q. Why was the pirate a boxing champion? A. Because of his powerful left hook!Q. Which candy do pirates like best? A. Sweet Tarrrts!Q. Why wouldn't anybody play cards with the pirate? A. He was standing on the deck!

Q. What is a pirate's trademark basketball move?
A. The jump hook.

Q. Why is Halloween a pirate's favorite holiday?
A. Because it's a day that celebrates the BOOty!

Q. Which superheroes are the favorites of treasure loving pirates?
A. X-men.

Q. Why did the chatty pirate relocate to Denver?
A. He got a job as Nine News Anchor.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite Halloween candy?
A. Salt water taffy.

Q. What kind of toothpaste do 4 out of 5 pirate dentists recommend?
A. One with taRRRtaRRR control!

Q. Why are young pirates so slow to learn the alphabet?
A. Because they spend years at C.

Q. Where did pirates store their chemical weapons between 1942 and 1992?
A. At Rocky Mountain Arrrsenal.

Q. Why was the latest pirate movie rated ARRR?
A. Because of all the booty.

Q. Why don't young pirates trick or treat on Halloween?
A. Because they are afraid of the daRRRk.

Q. What do you call a Buccaneer who is really irritated?
A. A P-irate!

Q. How do pirates cheer for the Denver Broncos?
A. Aye, me Bucko!

| Pirate Jokes and Arr-ful Buccaneer Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Salty Pirate Pick-Up Lines |
| Arr! Talk Like A Pirate Jokes | 2 | High Seas Humor, Boat Jokes, and Sea Captain Puns | 2 |
| Pirate Cuisine Jokes and Salty Food Puns | Seafood Jokes, Crusty Crab Humor, Fish Fry Puns |
| Sport Fishing Jokes, Fisherman Puns | Fishy Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Sealife | Groggy Jokes |
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| Groaner Jokes | Daily Groaners | Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groans |
| Hipster Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | 2 | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Light Bulb Jokes | Fair Weather Puns |

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