Q. What does a dyslexic pirate say? A. RRRRRA!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Pirate walks into a bar. Bartender: "Did you know there's a steering wheel in your pants?" Pirate: "Arrr and it's driving ne crazy!"
Q. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A. Arrr? No, the C is his love!
Yarrr! September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Q. What is a pirate's favorite vegetable? A. Arrrtichokes!
Q Why did the pirate go on vacation? A. He needed some aRRR and aRRR!



Arr! Arr-some Pirate Jokes and Arr-ful Pirate Puns
Yarr! Arrm yourself with arr-mazing high seas humor, arrogant jokes, and arresting pirate puns.

Pirate Jokes, Matey Funny Puns, Pirate Talk, Yarr!
(Because Marrvelous Jokes and Seaworthy Humor Couldn't Be Too Mainstream for Ye Who Talk Like a Pirate)
Warning: Talk Like a Pirate at Ye Own Risk! Well-arrmed jokes, arr-tistic humor, and arr-ousing puns ahead.
| Pirate Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Arr! | 2 | Pirate Pick-Up Lines | High Seas Humor | 2 |

Q. How do you save a drowning pirate? A. With C P ARRR!To err is human. To arr is pirate!Q. Who do pirates call if they break a leg? A. Their Carrrpenter!

Q. What is a pirate's favorite type of humor?
A. ARR-ony!

Q. Where do pirates go to get good and drunk?
A. The Sand BaRRR.

Q. Where do pirates store their weapons?
A. In an aRRRsenal.

Q. Where do pirates deposit their trash?
A. In a gaRRRbage can.

Pirate Point to Ponder: ARRe pirate puns a real pain in the aRRRs?

Q. Why do pirates do so well in elementary school?
A. Because the 3 aRRRs come so naturally to them!

Q. Why do pirates enjoy Playboy magazine?
A. For all the aRRRticles and all the fine booty.

Q. Why are pirates so good at math?
A. They love aRRRithmetic.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye lady, your grapefruits aRRRe the cure for me scurvy!

Q. Where can a pirate get a haircut?
A. At the baRRRbershop.

Q. When do pirates typically go on vacation?
A. When they need some aRRR and aRRR.

Q. Why can't kids see the new pirate movie? A. Because it's rated ARRR!Q. What does a pirate steal in his spare time? A. Arrrt!Q. Which music style do pirates enjoy most? A. ARRR and B!

Q. Why was the pirate movie rated RRR?
A. There was so much booty.

Q. Why do pirates love the night?
A. Because they do not fear the daRRRk.

Q. When ashore, where does a pirate put his automobile?
A. In a caRRR paRRRk.

Q. What do pirates do for fun?
A. They paRRRty heaRRRty!

Q. How does a pirate put up a smoke screen?
A. He lights up a cigaRRR.

Q. Where do pirates prefer to dock their ships?
A. In a HaRRRbor.

Q. Which instrument do rocker pirates usually play?
A. Lead guitaRRR.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye, have ye ever met a man with a real yardaRRRm?

Q. Why do pirates like the game of golf?
A. They always shoot paRRR.

Q. What does a pirate chef add to a plate to make it look nice? A. A Garrrnish!Q. Why do pirates make great lawyers? A. Pirates have very good arrrguments!Q. What does a pirate say when he steps on a LEGO? A. ARRR! @#$%!

Q. Where do pirates like to cook their steaks?
A. On the baRRRbecue.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite green vegetable?
A. An aRRRtichoke.

Q. How did the pirate become a lawyer?
A. He passed the baRRR and the BaRRR exam.

Q. Why was the caged pirate dressed like a lawyer?
A. So he could pass through the baRRRs.

Q. Why is Donkey Kong still a pirate's fave video game?
A. It's baRRRels of fun!

Q. Which planet is the favorite of pirates?
A. MaRRRs.

Q. What is a pirate's best subject in school? A. Arrrt!Q. What do pirates usually order at Italian restaurants? A. Chicken Parrrmesan!Q. Where do pirates keep their cookies? A. In a cookie jarrr!

Q. How does a pirate declutter his vessel?
A. He has a yaRRRd sale!

Q. Why aren't pirates allowed to be contestants on Wheel of Fortune?
A. Because they always guess ARRR, then C!

Q. Why couldn't the pirate eat caRRRot cake?
A. Because he was on a low caRRRb diet.

Q. What kind of food do pirates like best?

Q. Which candy do pirate kids hope to get for Halloween?
A. Sweet TaRRRts.

Q. What did the pirate say when his leg got stuck in the door of the walk-in cooler?
A. BRRR! Shiver me timbers!

Q. Why do pirates love Thanksgiving? A. Because they get to carrrve the turkey!Q. Which USA state is the favorite of pirates? A. Arrkansas!Q. What kind of socks do pirates wear? A. Arrrgyles!

Q. Why didn't the pirate eat on stuffing on Thanksgiving?
A. He was on a low caRRRb diet.

Q. What is a pirate's second favorite holiday?
A. ARRRbor Day.

Q. Why do most pirates end up getting divorces?
A. Due to all the aRRRguments.

Q. Where do pirates get their moonshine?
A. ARRRkansas.

Q. Which state should the Buccaneers football team move to?
A. Arrrkansas!

Q. Why did the pirate speak Spanish so eloquantly?
A. He really rolled his RRRs.

Q. Who was the first pirate?
A. Noah. He built the ARRRk!

Q. What does a dapper pirate wear when there's a chill in the air?
A. A caRRRdigan sweater.

Q. Which ailment to geriatric pirates suffer from most often?
A. ARRRthritis.

Q. Where do many pirates buy food for their parrots?
A. At PetSmaRRRt.

| Pirate Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Arr! | 2 | Pirate Pick-Up Lines | High Seas Humor | 2 |
| Travel Jokes | World Traveler Laughs | Cross the Road Jokes | Time Travel Puns | 2 |
| Hipster Jokes | Hipster Pick Up Lines | Bad Hair & Barber Jokes | 2 | Blonde Jokes | 2 |
| Painful Fashion Jokes | 2 | 3 | Shoe Groan Jokes | Fair Weather Puns | Light Bulb Jokes |
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| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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