Q. Why did the computer CPU go broke?
A. A reboot cleared out all of its cache. Now it has insufficient resources.

Q. How is Internet humor so selfish?
A. It's all about meme, meme, meme!

Q. How are Millennial baes like modern computers?
A. They won't accept a 3 1/2" floppy.

Q. What is the biggest lie ever told in cyberspace?
A. I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions...

Q. What happened to the blogger that stole a computer?
A. He was RSS-ted!

Q. What did the computer science teacher tell the class to do on April 1?
A. Please turn to page 404.

Q. Which laptop parts are best suited for laying siege?
A. The Battery and RAM.

Somebody stole my new Microsoft Office last week, and they are going to pay! You have my Word!

Q. Are there any gorgeous girls in computer science?
A. No. They're all 0s and 1s.

Q. Why did the old computer have to take Viagra?
A. 'Cause it still had a floppy disk.

Q. Why did Microsoft Powerpoint cross the road?
A. To get to the other slide!

Sadly True Web Factoid: You really want the answer if you click to page 2 at Google...

When I die, I want my headstone to be a WiFi hotspot. That way, people will visit more often.

Today's Tech Groan: Once again, Autocorrect has become my worst enema!

Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. Because they always surf the net.

Q. Why did both Apple iPhone 8 and Microsoft Windows 8 go straight to X/10?
A. We figure it's 'cause 7 ate 9!

Q. Which computer app was developed to keep track of melodies about eye organs?
A. Eye Tunes.

Q. Why did the spider dude take a laptop computer to the beach?
A. So he could surf the web.

My email password had been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat. Dog7.1 isn't amused, either.

Q. What was the computer cold?
A. Somebody left its Windows open.

Q. What goes best on a programmer's link post salad?
A. Addressing.

Q. How do old computer programmers die?
A. They just byte the dust.

Q. What did the robot say to the dead robot?
A. Rust in peace.

Seasonal Tech Groan: Thanks to Autocorrect, scores of children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.

Q. Why can't you trust spiders?
A. They post flighty stuff on the Net.

Q. What do hookers call a tech device that predicts a guy's penis length?
A. A cock-ulator.

Q. What do soffware developers call glitch-causing gnomes?
A. Gremlins.

A frazzled guy goes to his doctor and says, "I have an addiction to Twitter."
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I'm not following."

Q. Why did the computer keep sneezing?
A. It had a virus.

Q. How is the Internet like being a parent?
A. Your mistakes are visible forever!

Q. Why was the computer so angry?
A. Because it had a chip on its shoulder.

Old hardware engineers never die; they just cache in their chips.

Q. What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
A. Dead Siri-ous!

Tech Question of the Day: The truth is out there. Does anybody at Twitter have the URL?

Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology store sales person?
A. The car salesman knows he's lying!

Old desktop printers never die. They're just not the type.

Q. Why should spiders prosper on the Internet?
A. Because they're naturally so great at web design.

Q. How can you tell a blonde has been using the computer?
A. There's White-Out all over the screen.

Q. Why couldn't the old laptop see?
A. 'Cause it was SoDIMM.

Q. How do you put CGI characters on a screen?
A. Type.

I accidentally farted in the Apple Store and everybody was there was fairly offput. Hey, it's not my fault they don't have Windows there...

Q. Why did the hot blonde guy go to his local hardware store's website?
A. He heard they had a lot of fans.

Q. Which cell phone plan does Dr. Noonien Soong use?
A. The one with unlimited Data.

Mr. Data Point to Ponder: Why don't Android users use emojis?

Lore: I was the first Android with unlimited Data!

Q. What is the fastest network in the Alpha Quandrant?
A. The Romu-LAN.

Q. Do old Twitter Tweeps ever die?
A. No, but they do log out.

Old keyboard typists never die. They just lose their justification.

Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?" The other byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."

Q. What do Web meme artists become at Christmas time?
A. GIF givers.

Q. How are PCs like air conditioners?
A. They stop working properly when you open Windows.

Yesterday's Tech Groan: Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something.

Today's Dumb Tech Fact: Millennials make fun of their parents and grandparents for not being tech savvy, yet they have to Google: how to boil eggs.

Phone Fact of the Day: Old voice mail never dies; it just doesn't answer. Phone Fact of the Day: Old voice mail never dies; it just doesn't answer.

Q. What happened after technology was used to calculate the depth of the Mariana Trench?
A. It became fathomable.

Q. How do trees use the computer?
A. They log in!

Q. How did a spider destroy the Web?
A. It gave it a bug!

Q. What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
A. Silicon Valley.

Q. What do you call the slow Internet service on an ocean cruise?
A. Laten-sea.

Precinct 404 Groan of the Day: All the toilet seats at police headquarters went missing. Investigators have nothing to go on... Tech guys at Twitter are looking into it further.

Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.

Q. How did the old hacker die?
A. He caught a virus while on a phishing trip.

Q. Which brand of 3D printer produces the biggest guns?
A. Cannon.

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