Q. Which computer sings the best?
A. A Dell.

Q. What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A. A Dell Rolling In The Deep.

Computer programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for life.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a computer?
A. A machine with a bark that's worse than its byte.

Q. What do an air conditioner and a computer have in common?
A. Both lose efficiency as soon as you open Windows.

Q. How can you tell a computer geek is an extrovert?
A. When he talks to you, he stares at your shoes instead of his.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a computer?
A. A machine that drools if you search Google for meaty bones.

Eye mustache you a question: Can eyebrows your computer?

Q. Why are computers so shy?
A. Because they have hardware and software, but no underware!

Computer age wisdom: If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a computer?
A. A machine that drools when you visit DogTreats.yum online.

Q. What happens when a Buddhist becomes totally absorbed with the computer he's working with?
A. He enters Nerdvana!

8 bytes walk into a bar. Bartender asks, "What'll it be?" One of them said, "Make us a double."

Q. Why did the computer squeak?
A. Somebody stepped on its mouse.

Q. Why is a computer so obedient?
A. 'Cause it always listens to its motherboard!

Q. What do computers like to do at the beach?
A. Put on some spam block for protection so they can safely surf the Net while catching some .WAVs!

Tech Issue of the Day: I would love to change the world, but The Universe won't give me the source code.

Q. Why was the computer tech kicked out of the army?
A. 'Cause he had trouble-shooting!

Today's Tech Groan: I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.

Q. What do you call 18-year-olds using dating apps?
A. Tinder Tots!

Q. What does Google call their female interns?
A. Intern-ettes.

Q. What do you call a computer virus?
A. A terminal disease.

Q. What do Coloradans call a computer that uses cannabis?
A. High Tech!

I named my hard drive Dat Ass. So, once a month, my computer asks me if I want to "back Dat Ass" up.

Q. What do you call a potato that posts videos online?
A. A U-Tuber.

Q. What do you get if you cross a computer and an elephant?
A. Lots of memory.

Q. What is the name of the new Apple device created expressly for sea pirates?
A. iAye Captain.

Q. What kind of party does a laptop go to?
A. A CISCO party.

Tech Byte of the Day: Al Gore did not invent the Internet, but he did calculate the AlGore-rithm for it.

Did you hear about the new computer virus that only preys on childrens' computers? Yes, it a true pdf-file.

Q. Why didn't Apple release the new version of iPad designed for children?
A. Because iTouchKids might not be such a good idea, afterall.

High Tech Point to Ponder: Why aren't iPhone chargers called "Apple Juice?"

Q. How do trees in Colorado get on the Internet?
A. They log onto the Wood Wide Web.

User: Siri, where's the best place to hide a body?
Siri: On the second page of a Google search.

Q. What's the name of the new Apple night vision device created expressly for the Navy?
A. iEye Captain.

Q. What are a computer's favorite snacks?
A. Microchips, phish sticks, and cookies – but just a few bytes at a time!

Q. What is the '90s band, Fat Technology Geeks, known as in the 21st Century?
A. They updated their name to Broadband.

Q. Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
A. To get to the other slide!

Brainy scientists recently discovered a bacteria that can be used to power laptops. They claim the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the dell.

Q. What does the term E-sharp mean to a computer software engineer?
A. C++.

Computing Trivia: The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory. Just one byte, and then everything crashed!

Q. Where do computer hardware geeks send delinquent computer drives?
A. To boot camp!

Q. What is the name of the Borg spreadsheet program?
A. Locutus 1-2-3.

Q. How is working on a computer like traveling in a submarine?
A. Once you open Windows, you've got problems.

Today's Wired Word: Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

Q. Why won't technology ever replace paper?
A. 'Cause you can't wipe your butt with an iPad.

Q. How does a plumber get logged into his laptop while out on a job?
A. He just taps in his password.

Q. What should you do if your Nintendo game ends in a tie?
A. Ask for a Wii match!

Q. Why doesn't NASCAR have an Internet Explorer car?
A. 'Cause it would keep crashing.

Phone Fact of the Day: Old voice mail never dies; it just doesn't answer.

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