Superman, Batman, The Flash, Aquaman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar and order five Jack Daniels on the rocks. Bartender asked if they'd like coke or a lemon slice with their order. Superman replied, "No thanks, we're the Just Ice League."

Q. Why did Plastic Man get kicked out of the Justice League?
A. He was accused of rubbery.

Q. What happened when a band of Superheroes walked into an organic, Non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, soy-free restaurant?
A. They were served just ice.

Q. How did Wonder Woman get her new sword in the Justice League movie?
A. She used Amazon Prime.

Batman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, if you were Justice, you and I would be in a League of our own!

Q. What did Batman say to his girlfriend on February 14?
A. You not being my Valentine would be an inJustice!

Q. How was Aquaman born?
A. By Sea-Section.

Aquaman Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you as wet as I am?

Q. Which kind of birds does Aquaman like best?
A. Sea-gills.

Q. What is Aquaman's favorite color?
A. Aquamarine.

Q. What is Aquaman's favorite gemstone?
A. Aquamarine.

Q. In which branch of the military did Aquaman serve?
A. The Aquamarines.

Q. Who does Aquaman phone for help?
A. Michael Phelps!

Q. Who is a leprechuan's favorite superhero?
A. The Green Lantern.

Green Lantern Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, just follow the light...

Q. Which DC Comics superhero is the most curious?
A. Wonder Woman.

Super Point to Ponder: If Wonder Woman is the best female warrior, would that make her Amazon Prime?

Q. What does Wonder Woman call her lover's penis?
A. Amazon Fulfillment Center.

Q. How did the guy know he was married to Wonder Woman?
A. She wonders when he'll grow up. She wonders when he'll take out the trash. She wonders when he'll get a raise and promotion. And, she wonders why she ever married him!

Q. What did The Hulk say when he saw Wonder Woman?
A. Hulk horny!

Q. What is it called when a DC Comics fan binge watches Wonder Woman reruns for an entire month straight?
A. An heroine overdose.

Q. What would you call Batman after a sex change?
A. An Ex-man. OUCH!

Q. Why is Two-Face one of the better villians?
A. Because he's not half bad.

Q. How does Batman like to spend his disposable income?
A. On Bat-mo-bills.

POW! Batcave Point to Ponder: If Batman doesn't like cheating or stealing, does he like Robin?

Q. Which furr-ocious Gotham City character is most curious?
A. Catwoman.

Q. Why did his girlfriend dump the guy with too many DC comics in his collection?
A. She said he just had too many issues.

Q. Why is Superman afraid of ICE?
A. Because he's an alien and fears being deported!

Q. Why did Superman have a brush with death when his suit was the wrong size?
A. It worked out okay, but it was a narrow S cape!

Superhero Fact of the Day: Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Batman PJs.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, yes it is true that the suit does come off.

Q. Who is faster, Superman or the Flash?
A. Neither, the cameraman is!

Q. What did Wonder Woman say to The Flash when she noticed he was graying?
A. I still find you dashing!

Q. What happened when Wonder Woman tried to send her beau a nudie selfie?
A. Nothing because she didn't turn on The Flash!

Flash Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you know, I'm only fast on my feet.

Q. Where do the vast majority of superheroes vacation when they're not fighting crime?
A. Cape Town!

Superhero Point to Ponder: If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together, would they call it Amazon Web Services?

Q. What if Wonder Woman married Optimus Prime and got pregnant on their wedding night?
A. There would be free delivery in two business days.

Q. Why is Wonder Woman's eye makeup always so alluring?
A. Because she's from Themyscira and Maybelline has an outlet store there.

Q. How do you know you're an heroine addict?
A. You just can't get enough of Wonder Woman, Batgirl, and Xena Warrior Princess.

Q. If Wonder Woman turned to the dark side and partied on drugs, which would she do?
A. Heroine.

Q. Which enigmatic foe did Batman take on after conquering the Riddler?
A. Sudoku Man!

Q. What did Bruce Wayne do at the delicatessen?
A. He got ham.

Q. Why does Batman wear a mask?
A. Because the citizens of Gotham City are smarter and more astute than those in Metropolis.

Q. After a rough night of partying, how can you tell you were rescued by Batman?
A. The next morning, you wake up in a cave.

Q. Why did Bruce Wayne have such a hard time getting a date the same night he solved a major crime?
A. Because he had bat breath.

Q. Where does Batman go when he needs a break?
A. To the bat-room.

Q. What did the horny vampire say to Superman?
A. See you in the Kryp-tonite.

Q. What does Batman say when the evil-doers thwart his crime-fighting efforts?
A. Gotham It!

Q. Why did Catwoman decide not to pursue a date with Mr. Freeze?
A. He gave her the cold shoulder.

Q. Which type of tea does Batman drink?
A. Vigilan-tea!

Q. Why did Robin kick Batman while he was knocked to the ground and badly bruised?
A. Because Robin thought Batman needed a sidekick.

Gotham City Point to Ponder: Why does Batman wear kevlar armor and a bulletproof vest, while Robin wears colorful spandex?

Q. Why does Robin always cut Batman off at the bar before he's gothamed?
A. So he doesn't sign the credit card bill as Bruce Wayne.

Q. Why isn't Batman a hot chef?
A. Because his utility belt doesn't include condiments and salsa.

Q. What is the worst stinking part about being Batman?
A. It takes forever for a bat fart to exit a rubber suit!

Q. What did Robin say when he saw the Help Wanted sign?
A. Batman, it looks like somebody at Taco Bell is in trouble!

Q. What did Batman get from Batgirl on Valentine's Day?
A. Mixed Signals.

Batman Pick-Up Line: Hey hottie, are you Catwoman? 'Cause you're making my Dark Knight rise.

Superhero Point to Ponder: Do citizens of Gotham City consider Ben Affleck Batman or Buttman?

Batman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, no, I was not groping your breast. I'm Batman, not the Fiddler!

Batman Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, wanna get out of here and check out the Dark Night?

Q. Why does Superman get out of dangerous situations?
A. Because he always has an S Cape.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hello girl. I think your clothes are made of Kryptonite, so you'll need to remove them immediately.

Lex Luthor Pick-Up Line: Bae, if you give me your phone number, I'll allow you to retain your individuality when my Doomsday device enslaves the rest of humanity.

Q. Where does Superman go for a quick ride?
A. On Lois Lane.

Superman Pick-Up Line: Whoa babe, did I hit you with my heat vision? 'Cause you are really on fire!

Q. Why was Batman always so serious?
A. Because he was not the Joker.

Q. Why did Batman fold and walk out of the poker game?
A. 'Cause they kept saying the Joker was wild.

Q. What is Batman's least favorite Xmas song?
A. Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away.

Q. Why does Batman hate the song Jinglebells?
A. Because Batman does not smell!

Quote from Original TV Batman in the Batmobile: Salt and corrosion. The infamous old enemies of the crime fighter.

Q. How do you reveal Superman's covert identity?
A. You Kent.

Q. What did Lois Lane find in Clark Kent's pants?
A. Super balls.

Q. What did Lois Lane find in Clark Kent's bathroom?
A. A super bowl.

Q. What did Jimmy Olsen find in Clark Kent's kitchen?
A. A super bowl.

Q. Why is Clark Kent such a lousy chef?
A. His cooking is super bland.

Q. How did Clark Kent increase his personal wealth in the 2010s?
A. He heavily invested in Krypto currency.

Q. Why did Batman and Robin stop going on fishing trips together?
A. Because Robin always ate all the worms early in the morning.

Wordy Quote from Original TV Batman: It's sometimes difficult to think when you're strapped to a printing press.

Catwoman Pick-Up Line: Batman, I find you to be odious, abhorrent, and insegrievous. Hot or NOT?

Q. What did Batman give Catwoman on Valentine's Day?
A. Eek! A Mouse!

Q. Who wrote the hot new superhero tell-all book, Batman's Greatest Enemy?
A. Joe Kerr.

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