Best way to choose which beer to drink: a case by case basis   PainfulPuns.com - Bartender Puns, Beer Jokes, Bar Humor!

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Painless Drinking Jokes & Bartender Puns
Pick your personal poison from our beer memes, wine humor, and funny bar jokes!

Bartender Puns, Bar Jokes, Drunken Humor
(Because Sober Jokes Are Too Mainstream and It's Always Happy Hour Here)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. There is no legal limit on laughter and spirited jokes.
Bartender Jokes and Drinking Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 |

Past, Present & Future Walked Into a Bar. It Was Tense!A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "So, why the long face?"Q. What happened to the lawyer who got tossed out of a saloon? A. He was disbarred.

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender asks, "Why the short face?"

A superconductor walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve superconductors here." The superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says: "$4." Duck replies: "Put it on my bill."When a bartender spilled a drink on his shirt, he said: "This one's on me1"Q. What did a grape say when an elephant stepped on it? A. Nothing. It just let out a little whine.

A giraffe walks into a bar and announces: "High balls on me!"

A cat walks into a bar. Then out of the bar. Then back in. Then out again...

A giraffe walks into a bar. "Sorry", said the bartender, "We don't serve Heineken here."

A raisin wined about not acheiving grapeness.Drunk Pun: He carried rum over his head attempting to lift his spirits.Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was salted!

A mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"

A giraffe walked in to a bar. The bartender asked, "What's with the long face?"

Q. What does a termite say when he walks into a bar?
A. Is the bar tender here?

Did you hear about the opticican? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.I used to work for Budweiser, but then I got canned.Go Gnome! The Party is Over!

A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

Two cannibals walk into a bar and sit next to a clown. First cannibal whacks the clown on the head, and they both start eating the clown. Suddenly, the second cannibal looks up and says, "Hey, do you taste something funny?"

A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $3." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"

Bartender Jokes and Drinking Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 |

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