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Painless Drinking Jokes & Bar Puns
Pick your personal poison from our beer puns, alcohol humor, and funny bar jokes!

Bar Jokes, Drunken Puns, Bartender Humor
(Because Sober Jokes Are Too Mainstream and It's Always Happy Hour Here)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. There is no legal limit on laughter and spirited jokes.
Bartender Humor and Drinking Puns | Bar Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. Bartender says, "OK, but don't start anything." Polar Bear, Giraffe, and Penguin Walk Into a Bar. Bartender says: "What? Is This Some Kind of a Joke?"What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fun-Gi

A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says: "We don't serve poultry!" The chicken says: "That's okay, I just want a drink."

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how bar jokes work!

A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

A skeleton walks in a bar and says: "Give me a beer...and a mop."A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much a beer is. Bartender says, "For you, no charge."Bear walks into a bar: "I'll have a beer ... and some peanuts." Bartender asks: "Why the big paws?"

A giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Do you want a long neck?" Giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"

An anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the clean fog?"

A pig walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?" The pig replies, "A pint of Guinea's please."

Drinking Joke: She Was Only a Whiskey Maker, But He Loved Her Still.Whoever served the wine at the banquet did a pour job.A baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What can I get you?" Seal replies: "Anything but a Canadian club."

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked.

An atheist, a vegan, and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within the first three minutes.

A grasshopper hops into a bar. Bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

Two chemists walk into a bar. First one says: "I'll have H2O." Second one says: "I'll have H2O, too." He died.Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.A Dyslexic Man Walks Into a Bra

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

A fish walks into a bar and orders a scotch and water, and tells the bartender: "Hold the scotch, and bring it in a large bowl."

A guy walks into a bar. He says, "OUCH!" ... It was a crowbar.

Bartender Humor and Drinking Puns | Bar Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

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