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The sailors said "Hello" as their boats passed on the Hi Seas!
Why don't we ever hear anythng about the 1oth reindeer, Olive? ...Olive the other reindeer, used ot laugh and call him names!
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Q. What did the alien say to the feline? A. Take me to your litter!
Q. What is a great name for a therapist? A. Ophelia Paine!

 


Painful Puns, Humor That Hurts, Punny Funs
Hurt yourself so good with grating groaner jokes, funny word play, and eye-ronic puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Puns That Pickle Your Funny Bone Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at the Deli Counter or in the ER!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Sinking funny jokes, horrible humor, and eye-popping puns ahead.
| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |

Q. Why is wind power so popular? A. Because it has a lot of fans!Did you hear about the billboard that's for sale? A. The owner is happy to sign it over!We can see that these eye puns are bad, so iris my case!

Q. What do electrician's chant when they meditate?
A. Ohm...

Powerful Pick-Up Line: Electricians do it in the dark!

Fully charged Pick-Up Line: Get turned on. Sleep with an electrician!

Q. What should a realistic road work sign say?
A. Road Destruction Zone Ahead.

Signs of the Times: Interested in Time Travel? Meet me here last Tuesday.

Punny sign outside a hot Mexican restaurant: Need a job? Let's Taco Bout It!

You retina try to one-up these eye doctor puns lens you lose focus of iris humor.

Q. How many eye doctors does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Hmm... One, or Two?

Q. Why did Satan come after the eye doctor?
A. Because his puns were cornea than Hell!

The last eye pun was even cornea than this one!Q. What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand? A. Quatro Sinko!Q. Why do gherkins giggle a lot? A. they're picklish!

Eye Caramba! You did not see that pun coming!

Q. What does an egotist say when he visits the optometrist?
A. I Aye Eye!

Q. What was the lens's excuse to the cop?
A. Eye've been framed!

Q. How many bullfighters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Just Juan!

Q. What do you call a bullfighter whose car was stolen?
A. Carlos.

Q. Why can't bullfighters be firemen?
A. They can't tell the difference between Jose and hose B.

Q. Which radio station genre can you hear Bob Dill on?
A. Vlassic rock.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite church hymn?
A. Crock of Ages.

Q. What is a pickle's favorite movie?
A. Brine's Song.

Q. What do you call a donkey that throws nuts to the moon? A. An ass-throw-nut!Did you hear the jjoke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!Q. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? A It was two-tired!

Q. What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Q. What do you get if a donkey eats a porcupine?
A. A pain in the ass.

Q. What do you get if you cross a jackass and a motorcycle?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.

Q. Why do roofers get into so much trouble with the police?
A. Because they're always getting high and flashing!

Q. Why are roofers such great gossips?
A. Because they're always eaves dropping!

Q. What is a dog contractor's specialty?
A. Roofing.

Q. What is the hardest part about learning to ride a bike?
A. The pavement. Ouch!

Q. What do you get if you cross a bicycle and a flower?
A. Bike petals.

Q. What does a bike call its dad?
A. Pop-cicle.

Q. Why shouln't you write with a broken pencil? A. It's Pointless!Always be careful when driving to evening parties? Better safe than soiree!Green Alien Says: My wife says I never bring her to an organic?

Every time you make a typo, the errorists win!

Today's Pointedly Painful Pun to Ponder: It's great to be Awesome! So, why is it bad to be Awful?

Painful Groan of the Day: A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame...

Q. How do space explorers guarantee a great party?
A. They planet.

Two monsters went to a wild party. Suddenly, one turns to the other and says, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."

Q. What do you call a teenage space explorer that talks smack?
A. A Sass-tronaut.

Q. What do you call a space explorer using a porta-potty?
A. An Astrono-Manure.

E.T. Pick-up Line: Is your dad an alien? 'Cause you're out of this world!

Q. What did the frog order at McDonalds? A. French flies and a diet croak!It's easy to see these eye puns are painful. As do eye!Q What starts with P, ends with E, and has a million letters in it? A. Post Office!

Q. Which song to hamburgers sing on the job?
A. Gristle While You Work.

Q. Which patty really likes to over act?
A. Ham-Burger!

Q. Why was the pig hired at the restaurant?
A. He was good at bacon burgers.

Q. Where is the Eye located?
A. Between the H and the J!

To all you master eye jokesters: I'm just a pupil of the trade...

Q. What should you put on a black eye?
A. An eyes pack!

Q. Why aren't famous bankers featured on US postage stamps?
A. People would be too confused on which side to spit on.

Q. What begins with E, ends in E, and has one letter in it?
A. Envelope!

| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |


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You're eating up the groans, so here's more throat clearing laughter,
fetid humor, grating jokes and phony painful puns to burst your pipes:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Puns | Bicycle Puns | Blonde Laughs | Bull Puns | Colorado Jokes | Donkey Puns | Eye-Ful Puns |
| Hamburger Puns | Home Puns | Letter Puns | Magical Puns | Moon Puns | Musician Puns | Old Jokes | Pet Puns |
| Pickle Puns | Police Puns | Sci-Fi Funs | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Puns | Weather Puns | Wife Puns |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Monstrously Funny Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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