A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!   PainfulPuns.com - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What does a barefoot man get if he steps on an electric wire? A. A pair of shocks!
Q. What do you call hipster slang in Berlin? A. German-ology!


Painful Puns, Funny Word Play, Harsh Humor
Punch up your funny bone with groaner jokes, prickly word play humor, and head-slapping puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because the Itching and Burning of Painful Puns That Cramp Your Style Could Never Be Too Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution. Funny bone protection advised! Tech Knuckle Puns Ahead...
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A baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What can I get you?" Seal replies: "Anything but a Canadian club."Toilet Meme: A good relief map shows where the restrooms are.A guy was always leaving himself voicemail messages, he was so self-sendered!

A grasshopper hops into a bar. Bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked, or was he a duck?

Toilet paper: What a rip off!

Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll, or you're taking a load of sh*t from some asshole...

In life, as on the toilet, the job isn't done until the paperwork is finished.

Q. What did Bruce Banner say to Spider Man?
A. "Don't bug me."

Q. Why does Bruce Banner get so angry at David Banner?
A. Because multi-tasking pisses him off!

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before. Two surgeons were joking about sutures and had each other in stitches.Scrambling for an egg joke, but I can't seem to whip one up.

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A. Because they lactose!

Did you hear about the circumcision doctor? He slipped and got the sack.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now!

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement truck?
A. A Brick Layer.

Q. Why don't chickens like people?
A. Because they beat eggs.

They served lunch at the auto repair shop, but I didn't eat it because it was full of carbs.After Punching His Computer and Breaking His Hand, the Guy Required Tech Knuckle Support.Gnome Improvement

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs.

Q. What do you need to become an expert mechanic?
A. Fine motor skills.

There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Q. What happened to the blogger that stole a computer?
A. He was RSS-ted!

Gnome Improvement. I'd hate to see the before photo.

Q. Why are little garden elves such huge baseball fans?
A. They enjoy the gnome runs.

Gnome wonder you're laughingQ. Where do mice put their dead to rest? A. MouseoleumSick Humor: They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.

There's gnome time like the present... past and future. Who gnew gnomes are, were, will be time travelers?

Gnome wonder you're laughing, but gnow he gno.

Old cleaning people never die. They just kick the bucket.

Q. How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Blood is thicker than water, but it makes lousy lemonade.
– Alfred E. Neuman

BTW, always remember that blood is thicker than water – and a lot harder to get out of carpeting.

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Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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