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Q. What do you call a ballpark figure spoken in a harsh voice? A. A gruff estimate!
Q. What do you call a pair of vehicles involved in a plat? A. Two car collusion!

 


Painful Puns, One-Liner Jokes, Punny Humor
Harm your funny bone with groaner jokes, sharp word play humor, and intolerably funny puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Agonizingly Funny Puns Could Never Be Too Mainstream for Dominatrix Comedians!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution. Forehead protection advised! Slappy humor and harrowing puns ahead.
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Whiteboards Are RemarkableWhen you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imaginationFour fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get out. We don't want your type in here."

Q. Why did you leave your last job?
A. Company relocated and didn't tell me where...

Q. What did the worker at the rubber band factory say after he lost his job?
A. Oh, Snap!

A guy had a photographic memory that never developed... Orange you glad he woke up? That dream blue his mind.

I bought hiking boots from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar. After several drinks, he walked down another alley and turned into a bra.

An anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the clean fog?"

A Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.When the doctor asked an editor how he was doing, he said there was a problem with circulation.

Q. What do you call an angry monkey?
A. Furious George.

Q. What do you get when you poop in your overalls?
A. Dung-arees.

Q. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A. A URLologist.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable?
A. common tater!

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender asks, "Why the short face?"

Past, Present & Future Walked Into a Bar. It Was Tense!Computer programs for gambling need beta testing.Q. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

A giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Do you want a long neck?" Giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"

Once again, Autocorrect has become my worst enema!

Q. How did the computer get drunk?
A. It took too many screen shots!

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.

Q. What does a thunder cloud give on Valentine's Day?
A. A box of shock-o-lights!

Q. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend?
A. On Cloud 9.

Gnome or nonsense or gnomer nonsense? U B da Pun Judge!Dijon Vu: The Same Mustard As Before. OUCH!Gnome Or Bad Puns!

At least we gnot an answer this time. What was the question again? Punny or not, here I come!

Q. Where do gnomes get their garden supplies?
A. Gnome Depot.

I relish the fact you've mustard the strength to ketchup on tasty puns.

Q. What is the prize in the big hot dog race?
A. Wiener takes all!

Q. Why do all hot dogs look the same?
A. Because they are in bread.

Q. What is the most gnome bull profession?
A. Torreador.

The end. Gnome or puns, for now anyway...

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| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonally Silly Puns | Sports Jokes | High Tech Puns | Weed is Funny! |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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