What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare Tree   PainfulPuns.com - Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes, Happy Days

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Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? A. Claustrophobic!
Q. Which classic Christmas carol is the favorite of parents? A. Silent Night!

 


Christmas Jokes, Elf Humor, Gifted Xmas Puns
Laugh along with funny Christmas jokes, silly elf puns, and ho-larious holiday humor.

Xmas Jokes, Santa Puns, Cold Holiday Humor
(Because Cold Holiday Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream if You're Dreaming of a White Christmas!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Funny Santa Claus jokes, elfin humor, and gift-wrapped puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A. He had low elf esteem!Q. Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas eve? A. Because it soots him!Q. Did Rudolph the reindeer go to school? A. No, he was elf-taught!

Q. What do you call a frozen elf hanging off the roof?
A. An elf-cicle.

Q. Why are Santa's helpers lacking in musical discipline?
A. They're all elf taught!

Q. Why does Santa maintain three garden plots?
A. So he can Ho, Ho, Hoe.

Q. What song do monkeys like at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bell Rock.

Q. How many reindeers actually pull Santa's sleigh?
A. 10, 'cause Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh...

Q. What do you call a reindeer wearing earmuffs?
A. Anything you want. He can't hear you.

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack food? A. Crisp Cringles!I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.Q. What do you call Santa at the South Pole? A. A Lost Claus!

Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
A. He was looking for the Holiday Spirit.

Q. How do we know Santa is a man?
A. He shows up late, eats your cookies, empties his sack, calls you a ho, and leaves while you're sleeping.

Q. What is the best possible holiday gift?
A. A broken drum. You just can't beat it!

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Are you a Christmas present? 'Cause I want to unwrap you tonight!

Q. What do you call Santa if he has a secret life at the South Pole?
A. Bi-Polar.

Q. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A. He looks at his calen-deer.

Q. Why did the snowman have a smile on his face? A. A snowblower was coming down the block!Q How are Christmas trees like bad knitters? A. They both keep losing their needles!Q. Why was a snowman rummaging through that big bag of carrots? A. He was just picking his hose!

Q. What do you call a holiday snowman that tells tall tales?
A. A big snow fake.

Q. What do you call a black-tie Christmas party?
A. The Snowball!

Q. What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A. Gee thanks. I'll never part with it!

Q. Why didn't reindeers launch Santa's sleigh on time?
A. There were a few elf and safety concerns.

Q. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a really bad pun?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What is a young elf's favorite class at North Pole Elementary School?
A. Snow and Tell.

Santa Says: It's another roof Saturday night!Q. When is a boat just like snow? A. When it's a drift!Superman, Santa Claus, and a blonde saw $1 on the sidewalk. Who picked it up? A. The blonde, because the other two don't exist!

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Dude, is your name Rudolph? 'Cause you just sleighed me.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa!

Christmas Party Pick-Up Line for Blondes: Hey Girl, I must be a real flake because I've fallen for you.

Q. What is the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
A. Oh Camel Ye Faithful.

Q. What do you get if you cross an archer and a gift wrapper?
A. Ribbon Hood.

Christmas Come-On Line: Is your name Alice? 'Cause whenever I'm around you, I feel like I'm in a Winter Wonder Land.

| Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Xmas Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf Puns | Christmas Animals | 2 | 3 | Reindeer Puns | Skiing Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Weather Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor |
| Winter Holidays | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines |
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes | VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes |
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall Puns | Halloween Jokes | Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons |
| Thanksgiving Jokes | Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party Animal Puns | Daily Jokes | Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday | Wednesday Puns | Thursday Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday LOLs |

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You've elfing lasted this far, so here's even more seasonal laughter,
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