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Christmas
Jokes, Elf Humor, Gifted Xmas Puns
Laugh
along with funny Christmas jokes, silly elf puns, and ho-larious holiday
humor.
Xmas Jokes, Santa Puns, Cold Holiday Humor
(Because Cold Holiday Humor
Could Never Be TOO Mainstream if You're Dreaming
of a White Christmas!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Funny Santa Claus jokes, elfin humor, and
gift-wrapped puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas
Humor | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 | 9
| 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2
| Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas
Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns
|
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas
Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas
Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes
|
| Snow Jokes | Snowman
Jokes | Winter Humor | 2
| 3 | Winter
Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes
|
Q.
What do you call a frozen elf hanging off the roof?
A. An elf-cicle.
Q.
Why are Santa's helpers lacking in musical discipline?
A. They're all elf taught! |
Q.
Why does Santa maintain three garden plots?
A. So he can Ho, Ho, Hoe.
Q.
What song do monkeys like at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bell Rock.
|
Q.
How many reindeers actually pull Santa's sleigh?
A. 10, 'cause Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh...
Q.
What do you call a reindeer wearing earmuffs?
A. Anything you want. He can't hear you. |
Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
A. He was looking for the Holiday Spirit.
Q.
How do we know Santa is a man?
A. He shows up late, eats your cookies, empties his sack,
calls you a ho, and leaves while you're sleeping. |
Q.
What is the best possible holiday gift?
A. A broken drum. You just can't beat it!
Xmas
Pick-Up Line: Are you a
Christmas present? 'Cause I want to unwrap you tonight!
|
Q.
What do you call Santa if he has a secret life at the South
Pole?
A. Bi-Polar.
Q.
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
A. He looks at his calen-deer. |
Q.
What do you call a holiday snowman that tells tall tales?
A. A big snow fake.
Q.
What do you call a black-tie Christmas party?
A. The Snowball! |
Q.
What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for Christmas?
A. Gee thanks. I'll never part with it!
Q.
Why didn't reindeers launch Santa's sleigh on time?
A. There were a few elf and safety concerns.
|
Q.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a really bad
pun?
A. Frostbite.
Q.
What is a young elf's favorite class at North Pole Elementary
School?
A. Snow and Tell. |
Christmas
Pick-Up Line: Dude, is your
name Rudolph? 'Cause you just sleighed me.
Did
you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his
soul to Santa! |
Christmas
Party Pick-Up Line for Blondes:
Hey Girl, I must be a real flake because I've fallen for
you.
Q.
What is the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
A. Oh Camel Ye Faithful.
|
Q.
What do you get if you cross an archer and a gift wrapper?
A. Ribbon Hood.
Christmas
Come-On Line: Is your name
Alice? 'Cause whenever I'm around you, I feel like
I'm in a Winter Wonder Land. |
|
Nice Christmas Jokes, Naughty Xmas Puns
| 2 | 3 | 4
| 5 | 6 | 7
| 8 | 9 | 10
| 11 | Xmas
Food |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2
| Elf Puns | Christmas
Animals | 2 | 3
| Reindeer Puns | Skiing
Jokes |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas
Come-Ons | 2 | Weather
Jokes | Colorado Weather Humor
|
| Winter Holidays | Winter
Humor | 2 | 3
| Snow Jokes | Snowman
Jokes | Winter Hookup Lines
|
| Holiday Party Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Happy Birthday Party Humor | Gnome
Holiday Party Jokes |
| Valentine's Day Jokes |
VD Pick-Up Lines | St. Patrick's
Day Jokes | Spring Holidays Jokes
|
| Summer Holiday Jokes | Fall
Puns | Halloween Jokes |
Halloween Treats | Spooky Come-Ons
|
| Thanksgiving Jokes |
Party Jokes, Celebration Humor, Shindig
Puns | Holiday Food Jokes |
| Holiday Drnking Jokes | Party
Animal Puns | Daily Jokes |
Daily Pick-Up Lines | Sunday
Puns |
| Monday Jokes | Tuesday
| Wednesday Puns | Thursday
Humor | Friday Funs | Saturday
LOLs |
You've
elfing lasted this
far, so here's even more seasonal
laughter,
ho-larious humor, jolly
jokes, and snowy painful puns
to keep you smiling:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Air Travel Jokes | Beer
Jokes | Bigfoot Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Cookie
Jokes | Drunken Puns |
| Fart Jokes | Fashion
Jokes | Football Jokes
| Hipster Humor | Money
Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music
Jokes |
| Pizza Puns | Religion
Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sheepish
Puns | Sports Jokes | Superhero
Jokes | Vacation Puns |
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for stopping by and see you again soon!
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