Q. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A. He had low elf esteem!   PainfulPuns.com - Cheesy Pick Up Line, Sharp Come-Ons, Punny!

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Superman, Santa Claus, and a blonde saw $1 on the sidewalk. Who picked it up? A. The blonde, because the other two don't exist!
Q. What did Adam say to his wife before Xmas? A. It's Christmas, Eve!
Q. Why did Frosy the Snowman want a divorce? A. Because he thought his wife was a flake!
Q. What do you call a brothel at the North Pole? A. A Workshop!


Xmas Pick-Up Lines & Merry Christmas Come-Ons
Give the gift of elfish come-ons, Christmas party chat ups, and Santa's helper pick-up lines.

North Pole Chat Ups, Yule Hookups, Xmas Flirts
(Because Risque Christmas Come-Ons Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream When You Want to Put the XXX Back in Xmas!)
Warning: Merry at Your Own Risk! Santa-mental chat ups, elf-a male hookups, and candy cane come-ons ahead.
| Christmas Come-Ons and Xmas Flirts | 2 | Nice Christmas Jokes and Naughty Xmas Humor |
| Santa Claus Jokes | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes | Ice Cold Jokes | Sock Puns |
| Chilling Winter Hookup Lines | Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | Skiing Jokes |

Q. Where is Santa's most happy place to deliever presents? A. Idaho-Ho-Ho!Q. Which body part do you only see at Christmas time? A. The Mistletoe!Big Ape Asks: What does Santa sing when he goes down the chimney? A. Chestnuts Roating on an Open Fire!

Promising Elfish Christmas Pick Up Line: Girl, Santa isn't just coming once this year.

North Pole Chat Up Line: Girl, I am quite the elf-a-male.

Bearly Passable Xmas Party Hookup Line: Hey Teddy, let's not just cuddle, let's hibernate!

Xmas Eve Hookup Line: Hey there, I'd like to eggsnog you tonight.

X-X-Xmas Hookup Line: Baby, your Christmas sock isn't the only thing I'll be stuffing tonight.

Xmas Pick Up Line: Oh gosh Girl, let me help you out of that ugly Christmas sweater.

Christmas Come-On: Hey girl, who needs a sleigh when you could just ride me?

Xmas Eve Chat Up Line: Hey big guy, is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Christmas Chat Up Line: Hey girl, does watching Miracle on 34th Street make you Santa-mental, too?

North Pole Polar Bear Hookup Line: Brrr! It's so cold outside that I'd like to hiber-mate with you!

Christmas Come-On: Hey dude, if you give me peace on earth, I'll show you good will toward man.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens? A. So that he can Ho Ho Ho!Q. What's the difference between Santa Claus and a knight? A. One slays the dragon and the other drags the sleigh!Q. How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb? A. Eight. One to crew in the bulb, and seven to hold Rudolph down!

Xmas Come-On: Hey big fella, is that a candy cane in your pocket, or are you just trying to contain your excite-mint?

Xmas Party Pick Up Line: Babe, are you Christmas? 'Cause I want to merry you.

Cold Xmas Hook Up Line: Hey girl I lost my ugly Christmas sweater. How about you wrap your legs around me?

Christmas Pick Down Line: Boy, you must be Santa Claus! 'Cause you think you're a gift in and of yourself.

Christmas Chat Up Line: No, that's not a candy cane in my pocket, I'm just happy to see you.

Day After Thanksgiving Pick Up Line: Hey girl, I'll just call you Winter 'cause soon you'll be coming.

Cheap Christmas Pick Up Line: You wanna Scrooge?

Xmas Hookup Line: Hey girl, wanna come over for some nog and see my yule log?

Reindeer Games Come-On: Hey babe, wanna hiber-mate?

Cold Come-On: Hey baby, since it's white-out conditions, I'll let you search me for the North Pole.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens? A. So he can ho ho ho!Q. Why can't Christmas trees stand alone? A. They don't have legs!Q. What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? A. H-ornaments!

Considerate Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey, let's both just be naughty this year and save Santa the house call.

Sick Christmas Party Pick Up Line: Babe, do I have the flu, or are you giving me the chills?

New Year's Eve Pick Up Line: Hey Babe, you don't have to wait 'til midnight to see my balls drop!

Generous Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey girl, it's the holidays, so I prefer to give rather than receive.

Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey Babe, you're an angel, so why aren't you on top of my tree?

Winter Chat Up Line: Baby, if you were a tree, you'd be an evergreen 'cause I bet you look this great all year long.

Christmas Chat Up Line: Hey, did you ask Santa for a unicorn this year? 'Cause you look like you'd appreciate a little horny.

Christmas Party Pick Up Line: Babe, just call me Rudolph, 'cause you just sleighed me.

Cold Xmas Hook Up Line: Hey girl, I'm absolutely frost-smitten by you!

Q. What's the difference between snowmen and snow ladies? A. Snow Balls!Q. What do weirdos and Christmas have in common? A. Furitcake!Q. What do lawn ornaments do over winter break? A. Go gnome for the holidays!

North Pole Snowman Pick Up Line: Hi Babe, ice to meet you!

Hot Christmas Party Come-On: Hey, I can get you on the Naughty List.

Christmas Hookup Line: Hey Girl, you're so hot, but we can still have a white Christmas.

Eye-See Snowman Pick Up Line: Hey Baby, wanna see my snowballs?

Christmas Hookup Line: Hey girl, wanna come over to my place and light the yule log?

Winter Pick Up Line: My love for you is like a holiday fruitcake. Nutty, spicy, and unavoidable – no matter how hard you try.

Winter Pick Up Line: Hey there, is your name Kwanzaa? 'Cause I'd like to celebrate you for a whole week!

Christmas Pick Up Line: Oh Baby, I've double-checked my naughty list, and yes, you are there!

Christmas Hookup Line: Hey Babe, you wanna meet Santa's little helper tonight?

Elfish Christmas Pick Up Line: Hey girl, Santa isn't just coming once this year.

| Festive Christmas Jokes | Santa LOLs | Christmas Animal Jokes | Xmas Music | Winter LOLs |
| Corny Pick-Up Lines | Cheesy Pick Up Lines | 2 | Animal Pick Up Lines | Arty Hipster Hookups |
| Banker Lines | Bar Come Ons | Chef Chat Ups | Colorado Come Ons | Daily Lines | Farm Flirts |
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| Pirate Hookup Lines | Police Pick Ups | 2 | Robot Pick-Up Lines | Scary Monster Pick Up Lines |
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| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | Batman Chat Ups | The Hulk Hookups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Thespian Lines | Weed Hookups | 2 | 3 | VD Day Come Ons | Winter Picks | Xmas Chat Ups | 2 |
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You're under the mistletoe, so here's even more naughty humor, nice jokes,
and mint painful puns that'll pick up your spirit – past, present and future:

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Skiing Jokes | Sports Puns | Travel Jokes | Winter Holiday Humor | Xmas Santa Claus Jokes |

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