Christmas Jokes, Santa Puns, Festive Xmas Humor 11

Christmas Jokes, Santa Puns, Holiday Humor
(Because Jolly Jokes and Festive Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at Your Office Christmas Party)

Warning: Carol at Your Own Risk! Santa Claus jokes, Xmas pick up lines, and North Pole puns ahead.
| Nice Christmas Jokes and Merry Naughty Xmas Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Santa Claus Jokes | 2 | Elf 'n Funny Puns | Christmas Animal Jokes | Holiday Reindeer Puns |
| Christmas Music Jokes | Xmas Come-Ons | 2 | Christmas Food Puns | Winter Holiday Jokes |
| Snow Jokes | Snowman Jokes | Winter Humor | 2 | 3 | Winter Hookup Lines | Skiing Jokes |

Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. He only comes once a year, and when he does it's down a chimney!

Q. What do you call a brothel at the North Pole? A. A Workshop!

Q. Why did Santa send his daughter to college? A. To keep her off the North Pole!

Q. What is a child's favorite Christmas king?
A. Stocking.

Cold Pick-Up Line: Babe, as the seasons change, I just winter fall in love with you.

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers?
A. Subordinant clauses.

Xmas Pick-Up Line: Babe, if you leave milk and Christmas cookies out, I'll come later.

Q. What do you call Santa Claus if he goes bankrupt?
A. St. Nickel-Less.

Elfish Christmas Pick-Up Line: Girl, Santa isn't just coming once this year.

Q. Did the smoker get everything he wanted for Xmas? A. Bluntly speaking, no!

Q. Why is Santa so jolly? A. He knows where all the naughty girls live!

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens? A. So that he can Ho Ho Ho!

Q. What is Santa's favorite place to deliver holiday gifts?
A. Idaho-ho-ho.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, Santa's lap isn't the only place X-mas wishes come true.

Q. What do you call the hottest brothel at the North Pole?
A. The Work Shop!

Christmas Pick-Up Line: No, that's not a candy cane in my pocket, I'm just happy to see you.

Q. What does pirate Santa say?
A. Row, row, row...

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Babe, are you Christmas? 'Cause I want to Merry You!

Q. What do you call a can in Colorado wearing an Xmas hat? A. A Merry Can!

Q. Why did the Grinch go to the liqour store? A. He was looking for the holiday spirit!

Big Ape Asks: What do Hip Hop artists do on Christmas? A. Un Wrap!

Q. What does a sheep that doesn't like the Christmas holidays say?
A. Baa Humbug!

Bearly Passable Xmas Party Pick-Up Line: Hey Teddy, let's not just cuddle, let's hibernate!

Q. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
A. Because the presents beneath them.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Hey, let's both just be naughty this year and save Santa the house call.

Q. Why is Amazon is giving away batteries for the holidays?
A. They're free of charge.

Christmas Party Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, how would you like to meet Santa's little helper tonight?

Q. What did Santa say to the tobacco smoker? A. Plase don't smoke! It's bad for your elf!

Q. What is worse than Rudolph with a runny nose? A. Frostie the snowlady with a hot flash!

Q. How was an ornament addicted to Christmas? A. It was hooked on trees!

Q. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas eve?
A. Because it soots him.

Xmas Party Pick-Up Line: Babe, Is your name Noel? 'Cause I want to merry you.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas more than Halloween?
A. Because of all the wrapping.

Q. Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
A. Because every buck is deer to him.

Did you hear about the crook who stole an Advent calendar? He got 25 days.

Q. What did the reindeer say before starting his stand-up comedy act?
A. This pun is absolutely going to sleigh you!

You've Ho Ho Hoed this far, so here's more festive laughter, jolly humor,
cold jokes and merry funny painful puns that'll absolutely sleigh you:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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