Animal Riddle: Q. What do you call a baby monkey? A. Chimp off the old block!   PainfulPuns.com - Silly Questions + Dumb Answers = Punny Riddles

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Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? A. Because the P is silent!
Q. Why did half a chicken cross the road? A. To get to its other side!
Q. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the team? A. Because she ran away from the ball!
Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? A. Because it felt crummy!
What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fun-Gi

 


Puzzling Riddles, Answered Enigmas, Posed Puns
Q. Wonder about unanswered mysteries, questionable humor, and funny unsolved riddles?

Funny Riddles, Stumper Jokes, No Doubt Laughs
(A. Because Moo-valous Riddles and Stock Jokes Could Never Be Too Mainstream on the Psycho Path!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Revealing riddles, funny FYI jokes, and curious Q&A puns ahead.
| Funny Riddles | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |

Q. What do you call cattle that tell jokes? A. Laughing stock!Q. How do crazy people go through the woods? A. They take the psycho path.Q. What can you say to an annoying street performer? A. Oh, just go and mime your own business!

Q. When is a rancher like a magician?
A. When he turns a cow into a pasture!

Q. What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A. A Cattle Battle.

Q. What happens if a cow laughs too hard?
A. She cow-lapses!

Q. What happened to that lost beef shipment?
A. Nobody's herd!

Q. Which kind of humor leaves a beef steak cold?
A. Biting wit and gnawing puns!

Q. Why do trees make the worst frenemies?
A. They're the best at throwing shade.

Q. Why are leaves involved in risky business?
A. Because they always go out on a limb.

Q. Where do saplings go to learn?
A. Elementree School!

Q. Why was the pine tree always in trouble?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A. A rash of good luck.

Q. What is the hardest thing for a mime to do?
A. Think outside the box.

Q. How did Major Mime know the new guy was not cut out to be a mime?
A. It was something he said.

Q. What do you call it when a mime is run over by a steam roller?
A. A Silent Film.

Q. How does a mime intentionally mess up?
A. He says, "Mime Mistake!"

Q. How did the mime kick the bucket?
A. He stubbed his pan-toe-mime.

Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.Q. What did the ocean say to the pirate? A. Nothing. It just waved!Q. What is a Thesaurus' Favorite Dessert? A. Synonym Buns

Q. What is the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd one?
A. One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny.

Q. What do you call a happy hare?
A. A hoptimist!

Q. Which airline do rabbits prefer?
A. British Hare-Ways.

Q. Why did the rabbit go to the barber shop?
A. For a hare cut.

Q. What do you call a wealthy rabbit?
A. A millionhare.

Q. Why was the energizer bunny arrested?
A. He was charged with battery!

Q. Why did the pirate start doing drugs?
A. Pier pressure.

Q. What happened when the red ship collided with the blue ship?
A. The sailors were all marooned!

q. Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
A.
Because B-shells were too small.

Q. What does a mermaid wear to math and botony classes?
A. An algae-bra, naturally!

Q. hy didn't the two algae ever have sex?
A. Because they had a planktonic relationship.

Q. Why are there fish at the bottom of the ocean?
A. Because they dropped out of school.

Unaswered Riddle: What is another word for Thesaurus?

Q. What is the scientific term for the second dinosaur species discovered?
A. Thesaurus.

Q. What did Roget eat for breakfast every single day before coming up with his thesaurus?
A. Synonym toast.

Q. How did eye witnesses describe the trucking accident that strew thesaurus paper backs all over the road?
A. In alternate, substitute, equivalent, euphemisms.

Q. Why did the blonde buy a thesaurus?
A.
She always thought dinosaurs were cute.

Q. Why shouln't you write with a broken pencil? A. It's Pointless!Q. Why don't penguins fly? A. They're not tall enough to be pilots.Q. What kind of shoes do spies wear? A. Sneakers!

Q. Where do pencil like to vacation?
A. Pencil-vania.

Q. Why was the little pencil so heavy for its size?
A. It was full of lead.

Q. Why did the pencil get a speeding ticket?
A. Because it had a lead foot.

Q. What did the math book say to the pencil?
A. I have alot of problems.

Unaswered Riddle: Why is the #2 pencil more popular than #1?

Q. What do penguins eat for lunch?
A. Ice Bergers.

Q. Who is a penguin's favorite relative?
A. Aunt Arctica.

Q. Where do penguins go swimming?
A. At the South Pool.

Q. What do you call a happy penguin?
A. A pen-grin!

Q. What's in a penguin's favorite salad?
A. Iceberg lettuce.

Q. What kind of shoes should you wear while disecting a frog?
A. Open Toad.

Q. Which brand of shoes do graphic novelists wear?
A. Sketchers.

Q. What kind of shoes do mice wear?
A. Squeakers.

Q. What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
A. I am stuck on you.

Q. What is a mouse's favorite game? A. Hide and SqueakQ. How do you find a princess? A. Follow the foot prince!Q. Why did the pig quit sun bathing? A. He was bacon in the heat!

Q. What did boyfriend mouse say to girlfriend mouse's family?
A. Mice to meet you.

Q. How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Q. Why was the mouse afraid of water?
A. Catfish.

Q. Why do rats come after bats?
A. That's just how the dictionary works.

Q. What kin d of cheese do rodents prefer?
A. Mouserella!

Q. What did Cinderella say when her photos weren't ready yet?
A. Someday my prints will come.

Q. Who is hairly the funniest princess?
A. RaPUNzel!

Q. What does a princess say if she meets a frog?
A. Wart's new?

Q. What did Cinderella say to her prince?
A. Wanna see if it fits?

Q. Which Disney princess is a cow's favorite?
A. Mulan.

Q. What does a pig do if he scrapes his knee?
A. He slops on some oinkment.

Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.

Q. What is a pig's favorite color?
A. Mahogany!

Q. What do you get if you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A. A slow pork!

Q. Where do pigs leave their cars?
A. In a porking lot!

| Funny Riddles | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
| Light Bulb Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Light Bulb Zodiac Riddles |


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