Q. Why did the lion feel sick after he'd eaten a priest?
A. Because it's hard to keep a good man down.

Q. Which day do lions eat people?
A. Chewsday!

Q. What do you call a bad event involving cats?
A. A catastrophe!

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey Kit, they call me the cat whisperer, 'cause I know exactly what a pussy needs.

Q. How does a horse from Kentucky greet another equine?
A. With southern horse-pitality!

Q. What do you get if you cross a horse and a bee?
A. Neigh Buzz!

Q. Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
A. He thought he'd get a kick out of it.

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, are your hooves sore? 'Cause you've been galloping through my dreams all night long.

Q. Why did the nerd go to the lake after bullies teased him?
A. To go fishing for compliments.

Q. What do you get if you cross a friar and a fish?
A. A Monkfish.

Q. What do you get if you cross a big fish with a power line?
A. An electric shark!

Big Fish Pick-Up Line: Baby, you're like a championship bass. I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

Q. Where do lady monkeys go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.

Q. What do monkeys wear while they're cooking?
A. Ape-rons.

Q. What is the name of the cheeky restaurant that tosses food onto your face?
A. Monkey Biz.

Q. Which sheep is strong enough to hold up the world?
A. Herc-ewe-les!

Q. What do you get if you cross a gnu and a sheep?
A. A new ewe!

Did you hear about the accountant who counted sheep in bed? He made a miscount in the first hour and stayed awake all night trying to figure it out.

Q. Which kind of bugs live in clocks?
A. Ticks.

Buggy Point to Ponder: What do you call a male ladybug?

Q. What is the most musical insect?
A. The Hum Bug.

If cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast, what the hell is in Raid?

Q. What kind of fish does the pope eat during Lent?
A. Holy Mackerel.

Q. Which type of fish goes upstream at 90 MPH?
A. The Motor Pike.

Q. What do you call a naked fish?
A. A barracuda.

Pick-Up a Fish Line: Hey there, are you a great white shark? 'Cause you look like you wanna swallow me whole.

Q. Which kind of jokes do TV Bigfoot hunters with night vision cameras like best?
A. Knock Knock Jokes!

Q. What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
A. His Yeti Bear!

Q. Why do Squatches like to tell jokes?
A. They just want to kill you with laughter.

Q. What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
A. Yum, Hot Pockets!

Q. What do you call a fish with two knees?
A. A tunee fish.

Q. What do you call a smelly fish?
A. A Stink Ray!

Q. What do you call an underwater social network?
A. Fishbook!

Fishy Come-On Line: Hey bae, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I want to catch right now and mount back at my cabin.

Q. What does a farmer call an escaped bird?
A. A Loose Goose!

Q. What sensation really gives a Canada goose the creeps?
A. Goose bumps.

Q. What is a goose's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast!

Q. What do you call a gaggle of geese playing hide 'n seek?
A. Fowl play

Q. What do you call a happy rabbit?
A. An hop-timist!

Q. Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
A. On their bunny-moon.

Q. What is a rabbit's favorite recess game?
A. Hop Scotch.

Q. Why did the rabbit go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling a little jumpy.

Briar Patch Pick-Up Line: Hey Bunny, if I were a rabbit, I'd jump in your hole!

Q. How do you save a buck during hunting season?
A. You hang on for deer life.

Q. What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
A. Bambi-dextrous.

Q. What did the doe say to the 24-point buck?
A. Boy, you're horny!

You don't like my bucking jokes? Well, just deer with it...

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