I tried looking for gold, but it didn't pan out.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. Why are locksmiths seldom given the key to the city? A. Because they really don't need it!
Q. How do electricians become confused? A. They get their wires crossed!
Did you hear about the illusionist that made things disappear? He ahd the magic touch!
Q. What is a police officer's favorite day of the week? A. Fine Day!

 


Work Jokes, Career Humor, Professional Puns
Laugh about your day at work with funny job jokes, daily work humor, and occupational LOLs.

Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Humor
(Because NOT Funny Job Jokes That Don't Work Out Are Too Mainstream When You're Looking for a New Career)
Warning: Change Careers at Your Own Risk! Work humor, half-baked job jokes, and x-ray vision puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
|

Never lie to an X-ray technician. They can see right through you.I used to work in a blanket factory, but then it folded.My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.

After the x-ray technician divorced his wife, everybody asked what he ever saw in her in the first place.

Point to Ponder: If you have x-ray vision and close your eyes, can you still see?

Q. Why was the guy's x-ray appointment canceled?
A. Because only a skeleton crew was working.

Q. Why was the guy fired from the calendar factory?
A. Because he took a week off.

Q. Why was the guy fired from the muffler factory?
A. Because he was always so exhausted!

Q. What did the guy say after he lost his job at the rubberband factory?
A. Oh Snap!

Q. What did the born again baker name his new recipe for cheddar bread?
A. Cheeses Crust.

Q. Which romatic comedy film did the baker stream for his sweetie?
A. Loaf Actually!

Q. Why was the baker get tossed in the county jail?
A. He was caught beating an egg.

Q. What did the painter say to the wall? A. One more crack, and I'll plaster you!Two podiatrists became arch enemies.Q. What did the judge say when skunks walked into court? A. Good Morning, Lawyers.

Q. Which show-down cowboy was the best artist?
A. The one who could draw the fastest.

Artist Pick-Up Line: Hey, how about you and I go down to the pool to brush up on our strokes?

Q. How did the abstract artist learn to paint?
A. He was given a paint by irrational numbers set as a child.

Two foot doctors had a fight, but now the rift is heeled and both now toe the line.

Q. Why didn't the podiatrist tell jokes?
A. Because he knew they'd be too corny!

Q. Which food born illness do podiatrists dread most?
A. Toe Main Poisoning.

Q. Who did the podiatrist hire to cut down some trees?
A. Paul Bunyon.

Q. Which type of underwear do judges wear?
A. Legal Briefs.

Q. When did the criminal finally get wise?
A. After the judge threw the book at him!

Judge: Have you anything to offer this court before I pass sentence?
Defendant: No Your Honor, my lawyer took every penny.

Top Bakers Trade Bread Recipes on a Knead To Know Basis.Mad as I was, I didn't give the brain surgeon a piece of my mind.99% of cross-eyed teachers have trouble controlling their pupils.

Q. What does a baker say when he has messed up?
A. So sorry, I bread your pardon!

Q. Where does a bachelor baker take a hot date on Saturday night?
A. Up to his loaf nest.

Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
A. Dough-Nuts.

Q. How did the surgeon give the blonde a brain transplant?
A. He blew in her ear.

Q. Why didn't the brain surgeon tell jokes about amnesia?
A. He forgot how they go.

Wrap your brain around this: A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send the bill to her husband!

Q. What do you call a music teacher with problems?
A. A trebled man.

Q. What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says, "Spit out the gum," but the train says, "Choo Chew!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests.

Author Un GnomeAll the toilets in NYC police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on!Old Horticulturists Never Die, They Just Go to Pot

Sprite tell-all dishes up dirt about elves and pixies.

Q. How many mystery authors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to screw it in, and one to give it a surprise twist right at the end.

Q. What happened to an author when the past, present, and future walked in to a bar?
A. Nothing, but it was tense.

Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet?
A. To do his duty.

Q. What did the cop say to the toilet theft suspect?
A. If you run, you'll just go to jail tired.

Q. Why do policemen have bigger balls than firemen?
A They sell more tickets.

Q. Why was the cannibal cop arrested?
A. He was caught grilling his suspects!

Q. Which kind of socks does a horticulturist wear?
A. Garden hose.

Q. Why did the horticulturist quit his job?
A. His celery wasn’t high enough.

Q. What does the Green Giant wear when he goes to a corporate board meeting?
A. A three peas suit.

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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You've lasted this far, so here's even more workday humor,
boss jokes, and pro painful puns to laugh about at the water cooler:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Cheesy Puns | Funny Fashion | Light Bulb Jokes | Funny Money | Music Memes |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Pet Puns | Pirate Jokes | Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Scary Funny Humor |
| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sick Humor | Sports Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Weed Is Punny! |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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