Horsing Around: If ya wanna make money as a comedian, you gotta have a cents of humor.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. What did the magician say to the fisherman? A. Pick a cod, any cod!
Q. Why did the police ticket the ghost on Halloween? A. It didn't have a haunting license!
Q. Why shouldn't you lend an anthropologist money? A. They consider a million years no time at all!
They tried to keep a locksmith in prison, but the nut bolted!

 


Joking On The Job, Employed Laughs, Hired Puns
Laugh about your career with funny work jokes, occupational puns, and job humor.

Work Jokes, Job Puns, Occupation Humor
(Because Work Jokes and Occupation Puns Couldn't Be Too Mainstream if Your Brother-In-Law is Unemployed)
Warning: Employ Laughs at Your Own Risk! Clean garbageman humor, dirty nun jokes, and fireman puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
|

Old Cooks Never Die, They Just Get DerangedI used to be a nun, but I was expelled due to dirty habits.Old programming wizards never die, they just recurse.

Old refrigerator repairmen never die, they just lose their cool.

Old food critics never die, they just lose their sense of taste.

Cook a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you get rid of him for the entire weekend!

Q. What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
A. Virgin Mobile!

Q. What do you call a nun that sleepwalks?
A. A Romin' Catholic.

Q. What do you call the guy who is directly under the sisters in the parish?
A. Second to nun.

In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.

Q. Why did the computer programmer go broke?
A. He lost all his cache.

Q. Why did the computer spy quit?
A. He just couldn't hack it anymore.

Q. What did the judge say when a skunk walked in to testify? A. Odor in the Court!If you get a gift basket from a psychiatrist, it'll probably be shrink wrapped.A male snake charmer married a lady undertaker. Their bath towels read: "Hiss" and "Hearse"

Bar none, this is one very stinky judge joke. Guilty as charged.

Q. Which justice do ghouls abhor?
A. Judge Dread.

Q. How are a judge and an English teacher alike?
A. Both are familiar with long sentences.

Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A. Because the P is silent.

Neurotics build castles in the sky.
Psychotics live in them.
Psychiatrists collect the rent!

Q. Where does your shrink eat lunch?
A. At Kentucky Freud Chicken.

Q. What do undertakers say at parties?
A. Pass me another cold one.

Q. Why was the undertaker so popular?
A. Because he knew how to put the fun back in funeral!

Q. Why was the undertaker fired?
A. He made a very grave mistake.

My Pig Had a Rash, So the Vet Gave Her Some Oinkment.Why Did the Farmer Quit? His celery wasn't high enough!Regular visitors to the dentist ARE familiar with the drill!

Q. What did the sign at the receptionist's desk at the vet clinic say?
A. Be Back in Five Minutes. Sit Stay!

Q. Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A. Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit.

Fun Veterinarian Factoid: Every time a vet helps a pet, they've also helped a person!

Q. What is a farmer's favorite novel?
A. War and Peas.

Q. Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?
A. He wanted sweet and sour pork.

Q. What is a farmer's favorite Bruce Springsteen song?
A. Born in the USDA.

Q. What do you call great advice from your dentist?
A. Dental Floss-ophy.

Q. In essence, what is a dentist's office?
A. A filling station.

Q. What did the tooth say to the dentist going on leave?
A. Please fill me in when you return.

Hope there's a fireman nearby, 'cause you're smokin'Q. What has four wheels and flies? A Garbage TruckHey Gnirl, is your daddy a baker? 'Cause you've got a nice set of buns!

Q. What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire?
A. Holy Smoke!

Q. How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. Two to cut a hole through the roof, and one to screw the bulb in.

Working from home is a great thing, unless you're a fireman!

In a recession, the most secure job is garbage collector because business is always picking up!

Q. Why don't garbage men need any formal training?
A. Because they just pick it up as they go.

Q. Why do garbage men enjoy painful puns?
A. Because they enjoy trashy jokes.

At least the chef gnome is cooking up some hot cross buns.

Q. Why don't bakers like really hot weather?
A. Because things get too toasty too fast.

Q. Why did the baker break up with his girlfriend?
A. Because he found a butter lover.

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |


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You've lasted this far, so here's even more clocked-in humor,
laborious jokes, water cooler laughs and hired painful puns that work:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Cheesy Puns | Funny Fashion | Light Bulb Jokes | Funny Money | Music Memes |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Pet Puns | Pirate Jokes | Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Scary Funny Humor |
| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sick Humor | Sports Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Weed Is Punny! |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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