I used to be a shoe salesman, but they gave me the boot.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. What did the painter say to the wall? A. One more crack, and I'll plaster you!
Q. What is copper nitrate? A. A policeman's overtime!
Zombie Humor: I tried working in a bakery, but I wasn't bread for it.
Q. Who is a pickle's favorite artist? A. Salvador Dilly!

 


Work Jokes, Profession Humor, Occupation Puns
Find a hire position with funny career puns, job jokes, employment LOLs and work humor.

Job Jokes, Career Puns, Employment Humor
(Because NOT Funny Jobs Are Far TOO Common, While Work Jokes Could Never Be Mainstream Enough!)
Warning: Contact HR at Your Own Risk! Occupation jokes, trade humor, and profession puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |
| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

Chimp Chef Asks: Did you hear about the Italian chef injured in a pizza accident? Now, he cannoli do so much!Q. What award is given to the actor who lost the most muscle tone? A. The Sag Award!Q. Who is Transylvania's most famous optometrist? A. Count Macula!

Q. How did the Italian chef get lost?
A. He drove right pasta the turnoff.

Q. How do you know if an Italian chef loves you?
A. He steals a pizza your heart.

Q. What is the dress code at a pasta convention?
A. Bowtie required.

Q. Why are pigs such lousy actors?
A. Because they always really ham it up.

Q. What do you call an acting troup made up entirely of blondes?
A. Fair play.

Q. Who is the most dangerous thespian in the average community theater presentation?
A. The actor who owns power tools.

Q. How do vampires recharge at work during mid-afternoon?
A. They take a coffin break.

Q. Which soup does a casual vampire chef cook with?
A. Scream of Mushroom.

Q. What do you get if you cross a vampire and aggressive Internet advertising?
A. A blood thirsty hacker.

Hospitals report hearts of bankers are in high demand by transplant patients because they've never been used!Q. Why was the evening weatherman so worried? A. He was afraid the new meteorologist would steal his thunder!The tree trimmers did a great job! They really should take a bough

Q. How did the old banker die?
A. He just cashed out.

Q. What did the bank owner do after the last masked bandit robbery?
A. He brought in bulls to beef up security.

Q. What happened to the banking tycoon who fell overboard from his yacht during a typhoon?
A. He was okay because he knew how to float a loan.

Q. How do weather forecasters greet each other?
A. With a heat wave!

Q. Why was the weatherman fired during sweeps season?
A. Turns out, the news of a coming flood was leaked.

Q. What is a weatherman's favorite reptile?
A. A BLizzard!

Q. How many lumberjacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. There aren't any bulbs in the forest.

Q. How did the blonde landscaper hurt herself raking leaves?
A. She fell out of the tree!

Q. How did the tree surgeon break his arm?
A. He fell off a patient!

Q. Why was the police officer sleepig on the job? A. He was under cover!Q. What's the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A dressmaker sews what she gathers and a farmer gathers what he sows!Q. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A. How many can you afford?

Q. Why did the cops detain the mattress store delivery truck driver that sped by?
A. Because he could blow their cover.

Q. Which cop always solves crimes purely by accident?
A. Sheer Luck Holmes.

Q. Why was the police detective at the beach?
A. Because they were expecting a crime wave.

Q. What did the dress maker say when pressured about when the gown would be ready?
A. She hemmed and hawed.

Q. How does a seamstress describe her job?
A. It's just sew, sew.

Q. What does a tailor do when a guy says his pants are too long?
A. He cuts him some slacks.

Q. What happened when the lawyer became a tailor?
A. He started sewing everybody!

Q. What happens when you give a lawyer Viagra?
A. He gets taller.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito?
A. One is a blood-sucking parasite; the other is an insect.

Q. Why did the girl who worked at the phone company sing all of the time? A. Because she was an operetta!A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling jokes. Bone doc's jokes were humerus, but the eye doc's jokes were cornea!Q. What did an army guy do before becoming a dentist? A. He was a drill sergeant!

Q. What do you get if you cross a telephone and an iron?
A. A smooth operator.

When pesky telemarketers call, just hand the phone to your three-year-old and tell her it's Santa...

Q. What does a cat with Verizon cell service say?
A. Can you hear meow?

Patient: Doc, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
Doctor: Next time, take the candles off.

Q. How is a hospital gown like health insurance?
A. You're never covered as much as you think you are!

As a doctor was examining his patient, he asked, "Any coughing, wheezing, or shortness of cash?"

Q. What is the dental term for an astronaut's cavity?
A. A Black Hole.

My dentist simply wouldn't stop working on my teeth? I guess he was abscess-ive compulsive?

My dentist seemed a bit distracted today. Is he just brushing me off?

| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |

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You've commuted this far, so here's even more hardworking humor,
job jokes, and overtime painful puns to keep you laughing past 5:00 PM
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More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Batman Puns | Bodybuilder Jokes | Crap Puns | Denver Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Hipster Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Monday Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | OMG! Religion Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Funny Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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