What is copper nitrate? Overtime for policement.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Did you hear about the artist who hadn't painted for years? He took a class to brush up!
Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? A. To do his duty!
Q. Why did a cheesy street performer insist his audience sit in a circle? A. So that he'd get a round of applause!
Q. What is a locksmith's favorite pick up line? A. You're Locking Good!

 


On The Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work LOLs
Choose your new career from highly trained jokes, office humor, and job puns that work.

Job Puns, Work Jokes, Profession Humor
(Because Part-Time Jokes and Temp Puns Couldn't Be Too Mainstream When You're Looking for a Full-Time Job)
Warning: Rough Workplace! Proceed ahead to office jokes, temp humor, and part-time puns with caution.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
|

Job Joke: Whiteboards Are Remarkable!I got fired from my job as a software engineer. I just couldn't get with the program.The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.

Q. Why did you leave your last job?
A. The company relocated and didn't tell me where...

Q. Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A. Because it was just soda pressing.

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential!

Software Joke: If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

Q. What did the proud computer programmer say about his newborn son?
A. He's a chip off the old block!

Q. Why was the guy fired from the keyboard factory?
A. He wasn't putting in enough shifts!

Q. Why was the ophthalmologist considered brilliant?
A. Because he had a high eye Q.

Q. What music do eye doctors prefer?
A. iTunes.

Q. How are eye doctors and teachers alike?
A. They both test the pupils and quiz you about what you just read.

Old doctors never die. They just lose their patience.Q. What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a general? A. A Military Coo!My desire to be a dermatologist was only skin deep, but I was destined for osteology. I feel it in my bones.

Some patients really hate this joke.

Q. Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A. Only if your aim is good.

Doctor: "You're in good health. You'll live to be 80."
Patient: "But Doc, I'm 80 right now."
Doctor: "See, what did I tell you?"

Did you hear about the guy who was a cook in the military? He was proud to serve in the army.

Q. What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A. A seasoned veteran.

Did you hear about the accident on the army base? A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two kernels. OUCH!

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A. A Pachydermatologist.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places...

Q. What did the guy with a broken leg say to his nurse on Valentine's Day?
A. I have a crutch on you!

My cavity wasn't filled my my regular dentist, just by a guy who was filling in.Gnome Meme: Old Botanists Never Die, They Just Go to PotDockyard: A Physician's Garden.

Did you hear about the dentist who got a gold filling just to put his money where his mouth is?

Q. Why did the dentist ask his secretary out?
A. He was already taking out her tooth!

Q. Why do dentists like potatoes?
A. Because they're so filling.

Q. Why did the gardener need a cork?
A. Because his garden sprung a leek!

Q. What do you call a grumpy, short-tempered gardener?
A. A Snap Dragon.

Q. Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
A. He had a really long Honeydew list.

Man: "My doctor told me to give up golf."
Friend: "Why, did he examine your heart?"
Man: "No, he looked at my score card."

Q. What kind of doctor works on a cruise liner?
A. A Dry Doc!

There is a sign on the lawn at the drug rehab center that reads: "Keep off the grass."

Q. What's the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other's a word botcher.Doctors tried to save him with an I.V. but, their efforts were all in vein.Hardworking Memes Make Gnome Sense

Q. What did the owl say when the bird watcher farted?
A. Nothing. He didn't give a hoot.

Q. Why did the ornithologist call in sick?
A. He was feeling a bit peckish.

Q. What do you call a lecherous bird watcher?
A. A Hornithologist.

I don't find doctor puns funny now that I have an irony deficiency.

Q. What do you call a student that got all Cs in med school?
A. Hopefully not your doctor.

Q. How do you tell the difference between an oral themometer and a rectal thermometer?
A. By the taste.

Q. What do you call a mint employee who sky dives on the weekends?
A. Penny from heaven.

Q. What's the difference between Congress and the US Mint?
A. Only one of them makes cents.

Big Banking Tip: Never be funny when speaking to your loan officer because bankers have no cents of humor.

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |


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