After the Butcher Backed Into His Meat Grinder, He Got a Little Behind in His Work.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. What is a great name for a barber? A. Les Offenbach!
Did you hear about the hillarious locksmith? He had a keen sense of humor!
A baker stopped making donuts because he got tired of the hole thing!
Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet? A. To do his duty!
Did you hear about the constipated composer? He had problems with his last movement!

Q. How is Christmas just like your job? A. You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!

 


Job Laughs, Workplace Puns, Occupation Humor
Join in office politics with work jokes and politically incorrect job puns to win points with the boss.

Job Jokes, Work Humor, Not Funny Occupations
(Because Stinking Funny Work Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Dealing with a Dirty Job!)
Warning: Go Out to Lunch at Your Own Risk! Sewer humor, crappy lawyer jokes, and dirty politician puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |
| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

Did you hear about the owner of a cleaning service? She maid a tidy profit!Crappy Pun: Old Sewage Workers Never Die, They Just Waste Away. Q. What do you call a gossipy bank empoyee? A. A story teller!

Q. What's it called when your maid really knows how to get things clean?
A. Knowing the scour.

Q. Why do maids use an iMac?
A. Because they don't do Windows.

Q. Why did the maid always tip the client's dog?
A. For helping her with the dishes.

Q. Why shouldn't you play poker with a plumber?
A. A good flush beats a full house any day!

Q. Why couldn't the plumber ever get a date?
A. Because he was a real drip.

Q. Why did the plumber always fall asleep on the job?
A. Because he work was so draining.

Q. How will a bank teller help you if you want to draw money?
A. He'll hand you a pen.

Q. What do you call a very obese bank employee who is very intuitive?
A. A four-chin teller.

Q. What recurring nightmare do single bank managers have about web dating?
A. They may find themself a-loan.

Did you hear about the recluse who extracted gold without any hel? He liked to mine his own business!Q. What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A. A Flat Miner!Q. What do you call off-color jokes in a wood-finishing workshop? A. Lacquer-room humor!

Q. Where do miners never go to vacation?
A. Ore-gone.

Q. How did the miner's girlfriend break up with him?
A. She gave him the shaft!

Q. What did the gold miner say when he started a new job?
A. I hope it pans out.

Q. What is a gold miner's favorite NBA team?
A. Denver Nuggets.

Q. What do you call somebody involved in a grand opening?
A. A piano tuner.

Q. What happened after the pianist got flustered and played the wrong melody?
A. He regained his composer.

Q. Where do pianists go to vacation?
A. The Florida Keys.

Q. What do you call a laughing piano?
A. Yamaha-ha-ha.

Q. Why did the foreman say to the carpenter who was shirking his work?
A. Quit plane around!

Q. How did the carpenter cut wood in half, just by looking at it?
A. He just saw it with his own eyes!

Q. Why was the lonely carpenter sad on Saturday night?
A. He didn't get lathed.

Q. Who was the first carpenter?
A. Eve. She made Adam's banana stand.

Q. Why did the carpenter have his hammer so long? A. It was tough as nails!Penguin Meme: I used to be a nun, but I was expelled due to dirty habits.Q. How do electricians become confused? A. They get their wires crossed!

Q. What is the name of the new dating site full of hot dudes?
A. Stud Finder.

Q. Which nails do carpenters hate hitting?
A. Fingernails!

Q. Why was the carpenter such a great volleyball player?
A He really knew how to hammer spikes!

Q. What do you call the guy who is directly under the sisters in the parish?
A. Second to nun.

Q. What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?
A. A Romin' Catholic.

Q. What do you call a nun who had a sex-change operation?
A. A Trans-sister.

Q. What is an electrician's favorite kind of ice cream?
A. Shock-a-lot.

Q. What's another name for an electician's apprentice?
A. A Shock Absorber!

Q. What do electricians chant when they meditate?
A. Ohm...

Q. What happened to the lawyer who got tossed out of a saloon? A. He was disbarred.Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night!Q. What do lawyers wear to court? A. Law Suits!

Q. What's the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer?
A. The prostitute will stop screwing you once you're dead.

Q. What's the main problem with lawyer jokes?
A. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes!

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
A. The bucket.

Q. Why do vampire lawyers hate arguments?
A. Because they don't want to get cross.

Q. What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q. What do lawyers do after they die?
A. They lie still.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q. Which type of underwear do lawyers wear?
A. Legal Briefs.

Q. What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer riding a motorcycle?
A. The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

Q. Why did the blonde lawyer have a broken nose?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.

Q. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to change it, and another to change it back again!Hulk Asks: If politicians worked together to solve problems, could we all say "Bye Partisan?"Big Ape Asks: Q. What is the main difference between politicians & stoner? A. Politicians don't inhale. They just SUCK!

Q. What do politicians and babies have in common?
A. Both need to be changed regularly – for the same stinking reason!

A politician, a clown, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"

Q. What do politicians call a truce that's barely holding?
A. A tense agreement.

Q. What is the difference between a flying pig and a politician?
A. The letter F.

Q. What did the constituents call the super-serious congressman?
A. Senator of Gravity.

Q. What do honest politicians and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see one.

Q. What happens when you give a politician Viagra?
A. He gets taller.

Q. How do you know your congressman is a great politician?
A. He has an excuse to get out of everything except office.

Q. What is the job title of the guy in charge of workers bundling wheat?
A. The commander in sheaf.

Q. What is the difference between a politician and a snail?
A. One is a slimy pest that leaves a trail behind, and the other is a snail.

Q. How do you compliment a law maker?
A. Outstanding Bills!

Q. What's the difference between a politician and a magician?
A. The magician returns your wallet when his act is over.

| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Funny Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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