I used to work in a blanket factory, but then it folded.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Monster Chef Asks: What do you call a chef who won't try dishes made by other chefs? A. Full of himself!
Cops arrested two boys, one for drinking battery acid and the other for fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off!
Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth? A. A Mechanic!
Q. What is a locksmith's favorite pick up line? A. You're Locking Good!

 


Job Jokes, Hired Humor, Working Guy Puns
Schmooze your auto mechanic with greasy work humor, trade jokes, and workshop laughs.

Profession Puns, Job Jokes, Work Humor
(Because Hardworking Humor and Job Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Working on Autopilot!)
Warning: Apply at Your Own Risk! On the job jokes, workplace humor, and auto mechanic puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |
| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to screw in all the bulbs he has until he finds the one that fits, and one to tell you he thinks he'll have to replace the whole socket!They served lunch at the auto repair shop, but I didn't eat it because it was full of carbs.Q. How many auto mechanics does it tke to change a light bulb? A. Six. One to force it with a hammer and fie to go out for more bulbs!

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four. One to force it loose with a hammer, and three to run out for more bulbs.

Q. Which film about auto mechanics won an Oscar?
A. Lord of the Springs.

Q. What does your auto mechanic do when he stubs his big toe?
A. He calls a big tow truck.

Q. Why wouldn't the blonde go to Grease Monkey during her lunch hour?
A. Because she was a vegan.

Q. Why do mechanics like working on Fords?
A. They come from the factory with the problem circled.

Q. How do you know you've found the right auto mechanic?
A. He understands all the language you speak to describe the @#$%! problem.

Q. Which film was about really bad auto mechanics?
A. The Last and the Furious.

Q. How many union mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 12, well that's what's written in the contract.

Q. Why did the devoted mechanic close his repair shop?
A. He recently fell from grease.

Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck and asks the driver if he's got and ID. Driver says: "Bout what?"Q. What do you need to become an expert mechanic? A. Fine Motor Skills!Q. What's another name for a dentist's office? A. A filling station!

Q. What kind of car does a proctologist drive?
A. A brown Ford Probe.

Q. Why did the police officer cry after making the arrest?
A. It was a moving violation.

Q. Why did the cops pull over the Mini Cooper full of clowns?
A. For the fun of it, plus they obviously weren't wearing seat belts.

Q. Why did the cop ticket the computer?
A. Because it was speeding along the information highway!

Q. What did the NAPA clerk say to the guy who asked if he could get a wiper blade for his Yugo?
A. Sure, sounds like a fair trade to me!

Did you hear about the mechanic who performed abdominal surgery on a robot? It was gut-wrenching!

Q. What did the alien say to the gas pump?
A. Take your finger out of your nose while I'm talking to you.

Did you hear about the mechanic who is afraid of speed bumps? He's slowly getting over it.

Q. Why did a blonde drive to the auto body repair shop?
A. She was looking for a dentist!

Q. What happened to the blonde who was pumping gas while smoking a cigarette?
A. Her arm caught on fire. When the cops showed up, they shot her for waving a fire arm.

Q. How did the blonde get in and out of Jiffy Lube so fast?
A. The mechanic said all she needed was blinker fluid.

Q. How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb? A. Six. You got a problem with that, pal?Q. How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? A. His drill slipped!An optometrist asked a guy if his eyes had ever been checked. The guy replied, "No, they've always been brown!"

Q. What do you call a tractor-trailer driver who does okay for himself?
A. Semi successful.

Q. Why did the blonde trucker go past the truck stop?
A. Because she had to pee. Duh!

Q. Why did the lumber truck stop?
A. So the driver could jack off.

A good dentist is a little picky, but a great dentist never gets on your nerves!

Q. How do you find the most rewarding dental industry jobs?
A. By word of mouth!

Q. What happened after the dentist planted a garden?
A. A month later, he was picking his teeth.

Q. Why did the optometrist give new patients magic eye puzzles?
A. As an eyes breaker.

Q. What does an eye doctor say when he is stye-me-d?
A. Eye Caramba!

Q. What does an optometrist say when his puppy acts up?
A. Eye Chihuahua!

Q. Whay are locksmiths so good at SEO? A. They know all the key words!Q. What did the magician say to the fisherman? A. Pick a cod, any cod!Q. How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is!

Q. Why did the locksmith keep getting promotions and raises?
A. Because he was a key employee.

Q. Why should you trust a locksmith with private information?
A. Because he knows how to keep a secret.

Q. Why was that locksmith comedian so knee-slapping funny?
A. Because he had such a keen sense of humor.

Q. What do you call a magician's goldfish?
A. A magic carp pet.

Q. Where did the magician find his new assistant?
A. In the Wand Ads.

Q. Why did the magician decide to quit drinking?
A. Because every time he walked down the street he turned into a bar.

Q. What does an archaeologist call a really old joke?
A. Pre-hysterical!

Q. Why did the archaeologist have to declare bankruptcy?
A. Because his career was in ruins.

Q. What does an egyptian archaeologist do if they get a back ache?
A. They see a Cairo-practor.

| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |

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