Mad as I was, I didn't give the brain surgeon a piece of my mind.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

Q. What did the author say when the novel was finally finished? A. "It's a long story."
Q. How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. It turned itself in!
Q. What do you call it when a weatherman predicts wind speeds? A. Best gust-imates!
Q. Why did the fashion designer retire at the top of his career? A. Because he wanted to go out in style!

 


Job Jokes, Workplace Humor, Professional Puns
Take a long lunch with tasty job jokes, freelance puns, workingman humor, and boss laughs.

Occupation Jokes, Job Puns, Work Humor
(Because Employment Jokes That Don't Pay Off Are Too Mainstream When You're Seeking a New Job!)
Warning: Proceed to Work with Caution! Jobsite jokes, hired hand humor, and cook-y chef puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
|

Hulk Humor: Got angry at a chef in an Italian restaurant and gave him a pizza my mindA good baker always rises to the occasion. It's the yeast he can do!Sh*tty Pun: I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me.

Hulk's legacy will become a pizza history!

Q. How do you know if an Italian chef loves you?
A. He steals a pizza your heart.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? His wife is still mourning. Cheese still not over it!

Q. What do you call an Italian hooker?
A. A pasta-tute.

Q. What do bakers give ladies on special occasions?
A. Flours.

Q. Why was the baker so scared?
A. He found himself in a loaf or death situation.

Q. Why was the baker reprimanded?
A. He kept pinching the salt.

Q. What game do bakers play in a circle?
A. Marble Bread.

And then they canned me.

Plumbing is the only profession where you'll hear the boss say, "Be sure your joints have lots of dope in them."

Q. How many plumbers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to get the beer, and another to call an electrician.

Don't you just hate it when you call a plumber, and all he does is eat mushrooms and kill your turtles?

They served lunch at the auto repair shop, but I didn't eat it because it was full of carbs.A. What is a chimney sweep's most common ailment? The Flue.Stir Fry Cooks Come From All Woks of Life

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs.

Q. What did the bartender say when jumper cables walked into the bar?
A. I'll serve you, but don't start anything.

Q. What do you call a guy with a car on his head?
A. Jack.

Soot-n't he have gotten the shot?

My mother got the Amish Flu. First she got a little horse, then she got a little buggy...

Doctor: "What is the condition of the boy who swallowed the quarter?"
Nurse: "No change yet."

Medical Pick-Up Line: Are you COPD? Because you take my breath away.

Q. What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup?
A. Won Ton.

Q. What is it called when a chef maliciously spills hot broth with dumplings on an obnoxious customer?
A. A Wonton Soup Attack.

Did you hear about the lawyer who loves to cook? Now he's a sue chef!

Groaner: A psychiatrist on a hike fell into a deep depression...After an exposion at a French cheese factory, all that was left was De BrieOld Programmers Never Die, They Just Lose Their Memory.

That must be why the psychiatrist can't shrink the bill?

Q. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Sex.

An elevator walks into a shrink's office and says, "Doc, I think I'm out of control." Shrink replies, "In your line of work, you're bound to have your ups and downs."

I walked up to the cheese counter in the store last week. I interrupted him and he had to start again...

Q. Why was the cheesemonger lopsided?
A. Because he only had one Stilton.

Q. What happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese?
A. He double Gloucester!

Q. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
A. Because he didn't Node how to Express himself.

Q. What do you get if you cross a computer and a lifeguard?
A. A screensaver!

Q. Why do Java developers wear glasses?
A. Because they can't C.

The rise of the orthopedic practice depends on the fall of the patients.Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!Hey Gnirl, you should sell hotdogs 'cause you already know how to make a wiener stand!

Q. What do you call two orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A. A double blind study.

Q. What music do chiropractors enjoy most?
A. Hip Pop.

Q. How many orthopedists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why don't you just take out the socket? You're not using it anyway.

Q. Why did the coach lecture the locker room vending machine at halftime?
A. He wanted his quarter back.

Q. What is the worst advice a coach could give to a nude volleyball team?
A. Play hard.

Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A. A Pythong!

Hot Dog! A tasty pick up line for chefs, cooks and ballpark gourmets. However, there were no wieners in this case.

Q. What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
A. Make me one with everything.

Q. Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?
A. He just didn't relish it.

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

PainfulPuns Home
You've lasted this far, so here's even more lucrative laughter,
humor paydays, richly funny jokes and highly professional painful puns:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Cheesy Puns | Funny Fashion | Light Bulb Jokes | Funny Money | Music Memes |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Pet Puns | Pirate Jokes | Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Scary Funny Humor |
| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sick Humor | Sports Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Weed Is Punny! |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2018 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.