Two podiatrists became arch enemies. - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. Why was the evening weatherman so worried? A. He was afraid the new meteorologist would steal his thunder!
Arresting Banana Humor: What do you call california banana motorcycle cops? A. Banana Chips!
Q. What is a great name for a barber? A. Les Offenbach!
Q. What od you want to see in your locksmith's resume? A. I'm an Okie from Muskogee!


Job Jokes, Workplace Puns, Professional Humor
Pick your profession from our workplace jokes, occupation humor, and overworked job puns.

Work Humor, On the Job Jokes, Career Puns
(Because NOT Funny Jobs That Don't Pay Well Are Too Mainstream If You're Trying to Pay Off Student Loans)
Warning: Take Your Break, but Remember Cameras Are On! Workplace jokes, rash humor, and pro puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

Optometrists live long because they dilate.Chef Pun: Got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A. Pachydermatologist

Q. Why do optometrists like PainfulPuns Eye Doctor Jokes?
A. Because it's such a fun web sight for insiteful humor!

Q. Where do optometrists send data off their electronic devices?
A. To the Eye Cloud.

Q. What did the optometrist say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A. Eye Love You!

Q. Why was the baker in a panic?
A. Because he was in a loaf or death situation.

Baker Pick-Up Line: Babe, when it comes to being sweet, you take the cake!

Q. Why did the bakery hire so many apples?
A. There was a lot of turnover!

Did you hear about the baker who made fair fruitcake? He was one slice short of a loaf.

Q. Why didn't the patient trust his dermatologist?
A. Because he always made rash decisions.

Q. How did the young dermatologist get established?
A. He started by scratch.

Q. Why did the med student go into osteology instead of dermatology?
A. He knew his specialty wasn't skin deep because he felt it in his bones.

Butchers link sausage to make ends meet.A lawyer asked his dentist ... for a retainer.Whoever served the wine at the banquet did a pour job.

Q. Why did the butcher have to retire?
A. He was cut off in his prime.

Q. Which character did the butcher dress as for Comicon?
A. Obi Wan Baloney.

Q. What is it called when competing butchers spy on each other?
A. A Steak Out.

But it wasn't enough to sink his teeth into...

Q. What do lawyers say when they pose for photographs?
A. Fees.

Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.

The dentist's alibi was full of holes, so police performed a cavity search. OUCH!

Q. Which dog breed is preferred by the sommelier?
A. A Bordeaux collie.

Q. What do sommeliers think about wine jokes?
A. They're grape. In fact, they're de-vine!

Q. What is the philosophy of a horny sommelier?
A. Love the wine you're with.

Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.A magician was driving down the road, then he turned into a driveway.Potty Humor: Urologists Know How to Go with the Flow!

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. It's a hardware problem.

Q. What do Web meme artists become at Christmas time?
A. GIF givers.

Q. How can you tell a computer geek is an extrovert?
A. When he talks to you, he stares at your shoes instead of his.

Q. Did you hear about the perverted magician?
A. He pulled his top hat out of a rabbit.

Q. Did you hear about the angry magician?
A. He pulled his hare out.

Q. What did the magician's assistant say after the evening's festivities?
A. Thanks for halving me.

Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better.

Did you hear about the charismatic urologist? He can charm the pants off just about anyone!

Q. What did the urology nurse say to the patient?
A. Urine good hands.

Are you a chemist? 'Cause I want to do you on a table periodically!Did you hear about the optician? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.Why do gnomes make bad rappers? Gnome Rhyme, Ignor Reason!

Q. What did the chemistry teacher say when the student's experiment blew up?
A. Oxidants happen, but be more careful.

Q. Which breed of dog do chemists prefer?
A. Laboratory Retriever.

We'd like to apologize for not adding more chemistry jokes recently, but we only update them periodically.

Q. What do you do with a dead chemist?
A. You barium.

Q. What does an egotist say when he visits the optician for new glasses?
A. I Aye Eye!

Specs appeal is not the reason to become an optician, but it does help!

Q. Which type of cell phone do most optometrists, ophthalmologist, and opticians prefer?
A. The eyePhone.

Q. What is one of the hazards of being a musician in a piano bar?
A. People keep dropping money in your drink.

The musician's girlfriend had tears in her eyes when he asked her to marry him. It might be because he proposed with an onion ring...

Q. What is the best gift a musician could ever receive?
A. A broken drum. You can't beat it!

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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You've lasted this far, so here's even more hardworking humor,
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| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sick Humor | Sports Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Weed Is Punny! |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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