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Job Jokes, Workplace Laughs, Career Puns
Get
down to funny business with job puns, hired humor, occupation laughs and
profession jokes.
Job Puns, Funny Profession Jokes, Work Humor
(Because Funny Job Puns and
Work Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream While
You're Rewriting Your Resume!) |
Warning:
Request a Raise with Caution! Employment humor, workplace jokes,
and tech-knuckle puns ahead.
| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1
| 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 |
6 | 7
| 8 | 9 |
10 | 11 | 12
| 13 | 14 | 15
| 16 | 17 |
| Boss Jokes, CEO Puns | You're
Fired Jokes, Canned LOLs | I Quit! Job
Jokes | Crappy
Job Jokes |
| Baker Puns | Dentist
| Farmer | Lawyer
| Photographer | Tech
Support | Vet | Weatherman
|
Q.
What happened when the pastry chef's wife came home early?
A. She caught him master baking.
Q.
What is a baker's favorite Beatles' song?
A. All You Knead Is Love.
Q.
What did they say about the old baker's favorite song?
A. It's a moldie, but a goodie! |
There are only two hard things in computer science: cache
invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
Q.
Why was the computer tech so tired when he got home from
work?
A. He had a hard drive.
Q.
What did the dentist say to the computer programmer?
A. This won't hurt one byte.
|
The
dentist attended Emory and the manicurist still goes to
Emery.
Q.
How can you tell you've found the best dentist?
A. He's Ahh-Inspiring!
I
had a date with a dentist last night. At the end of the
date, she said she had a great time and wants to see me
again in six months. |
Q.
What did the horse tell the vet after it fell?
A. Doc, I've fallen and I can't giddyup!
Q.
Why don't veterinarians like to order online?
A. Because they prefer to use a print catalog.
Q.
What did the vet say when a dog walked into the clinic carrying
a little cat in its mouth?
A. You've got to be kitten me! |
That
shrink could see right through his egocentric behavior.
Wrap your head around that!
Q.
Why did the psychiatrist sent the guy in for an MRI?
A. Because she thought he had a magnetic personality.
Q.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A. Because the P is silent.
|
Q.
What's the main problem with lawyer jokes?
A. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks
they're jokes!
Q.
What happens when you give a lawyer Viagra?
A. He gets taller.
Q.
What's the difference between lawyers and a herd of bison?
A. Lawyers charge more. |
Q.
How can you tell a fine diplomat?
A. He's a guy who can tell you to go to hell in a way that
makes you look forward to the trip.
Q.
What does it mean when a diplomat says, Maybe?
A. He means NO.
Q.
What does it mean when a diplomat says, NO?
A. He's not a diplomat. |
Q.
What is a farmer's favorite party game?
A. Truth or Dairy!
Q.
Why was the farmer so stressed out?
A. He had a high thresher job!
Q.
Why did the blonde farmer plant cheerios?
A. He thought they were donut seeds.
Q.
What did the farmer get when he crossed a chilie pepper,
a shovel, and a dachshund?
A. A hot diggity dog!
|
Q.
What music do chiropractors enjoy most?
A. Hip Pop.
Q.
What did the orthopedist say about working with fractures?
A. It isn't all it's cracked up to be.
A
bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling jokes. The bone
doc's jokes were humerus, but the eye doc's puns were cornea!
|
Q.
Why did the weather forecaster move to a different climate?
A. Because the weather didn't agree with him.
Did
you hear about the two weathermen who both broke an arm
and a leg in a storm-chasing accident? They called in from
the hospital about the four casts!
Q.
Where does the weatherman stop for happy hour after work?
A. The Isobar! |
Q.
What do you call an eye doctor in Alaska?
A. An optical Aleutian.
A
man goes to an eye doctor and says, "I keep seeing
spots in front of my eyes." Receptionist asks, "Have
you ever seen a doctor?" The man replies, "No,
just spots."
Optician:
It looks like you need glasses.
Patient: But, I'm wearing glasses.
Optician: Then I must need glasses ...
|
Gnome wonder there are not many dark rooms these days? Ew!
Q.
Why is it tough to be a photographer?
A. You have to deal with a lot of crop!
Q.
Which kind of pet does a photographer prefer?
A. A snapping turtle.
Q.
Why did the photographer give up his career?
A. He lost focus. |
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Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1
| 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 |
6 | 7
| 8 | 9 |
10 | 11 | 12
| 13 | 14 | 15
| 16 | 17 |
| Accountant | Actor
Jokes | Archaeologist | Artist
Puns | Astronaut | Athlete
| Author Puns |
| Auto Mechanic Jokes | Baker
| Banker | Barber
| Bartender Jokes | Butcher
| Chef | Chemist
|
| Clown Jokes | Comedian
| Cowboy | Criminal
Puns | Dancer | Dentist
Jokes | Doctor Jokes |
| Ecologist | Electrician
Jokes | Engineer | Eye
Doc Puns | Factory Worker Humor
| Farmer |
| Fashion Designer | Fireman
Jokes | Geologist | Home
Contractor | Janitor | Judge
| Landlord |
| Lawyer Jokes | Librarian
| Locksmith Puns | Magician
Puns | Military | Mime
LOLs | Miner |
| Musician Jokes | Optician
Puns | Pharmacist | Photographer
| Plumber Puns | Police
Jokes |
| Politician Jokes | Psychic
| Reporter | Robber
| Salesman | Scientist
Jokes | Shrink Puns |
| Superhero | Surgeon
| Teacher | Tech
Support | Trucker | Vet
| Waiter | Weatherman
Jokes |
| Boss Jokes, CEO Puns | You're
Fired Jokes, Canned lOLs | I Quit! Job
Jokes | Crappy
Job Jokes I
You've lasted this far, so here's more break
room humor, water cooler
jokes,
and strictly business
painful puns to digest during your lunch
hour:
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More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Blonde Jokes | Bread
Jokes | Crappy Puns | Denver
Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Handy
Humor | Hipster Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Monday
Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Religion
Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns
| Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Seasonal Humor | Soup
Jokes | Sports Jokes | Tech
Gadget Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO
Jokes | Weed Jokes |
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