Old Cooks Never Die, They Just Get Deranged   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. Why did a cheesy street performer insist his audience sit in a circle? A. So that he'd get a round of applause!
Q. What did the magician say to the fisherman? A. Pick a cod, any cod!
Q. Why don't locksmiths need to use GPS? A. They always know their lock-ation!
Q. What's a great name for a police-woman? A. Laura Biden!

 


Job Jokes, Workplace Laughs, Career Puns
Get down to business with funny job puns, occupation humor, and profession jokes.

Job Puns, Funny Profession Jokes, Work Humor
(Because Funny Job Puns and Work Jokes Could Never Be Too Mainstream While You're Rewriting Your Resume)
Warning: Request a Raise with Caution! Employment humor, workplace jokes, and tech-knuckle puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17
|

Bakers DO earn the majority of their income in the morning, making most of their dough at yeast by a leaven o'clock.After Punching His Computer and Breaking His Hand, the Guy Required Tech Knuckle Support.A dentist married a manicurist, but they fought like tooth and nail!

Q. What happened when the pastry chef's wife came home early?
A. She caught him master baking.

Q. What is a baker's favorite Beatles' song?
A. All You Knead I Love.

Q. What did they say about the old baker's favorite song?
A. It's a moldie, but a goodie!

There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Q. Why was the computer tech so tired when he got home from work?
A. He had a hard drive.

Q. What did the dentist say to the computer programmer?
A. This won't hurt one byte.

The dentist attended Emory and the manicurist still goes to Emery.

Q. How can you tell you've found the best dentist?
A. He's Ahh-Inspiring!

QI had a date with a dentist last night. At the end of the date, she said she had a great time and wants to see me again in six months."

Q. What do you dall a veterinarian with laryngitis? A. Hoarse DoctorA guy walks into a psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap shorts. Shrink says: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."Lawyer-Turned-Cook. A.K.A. Sue Chef

Q. What did the horse tell the vet after it fell?
A. Doc, I've fallen and I can't giddyup!

Q. Why don't veterinarians like to order online?
A. Because they prefer to use a catalog.

Q. What did the vet say when a dog walked into the clinic carrying a little cat in its mouth?
A. You've got to be kitten me!

That shrink could see right through his egocentric behavior. Wrap your head around that!

Q. Why did the psychiatrist sent the guy in for an MRI?
A. Because she thought he had a magnetic personality.

Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A. Because the P is silent.

Q. What's the main problem with lawyer jokes?
A. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes!

Q. What happens when you give a lawyer Viagra?
A. He gets taller.

Q. What's the difference between lawyers and a herd of bison?
A. Lawyers charge more.

Q. Why don't ambassadors ever get sick? A. Diplomatic ImmunityFarm Humor: An Expert Farmer is Outstanding in His FieldFriendly chiropactors always have your back.

Q. How can you tell a fine diplomat?
A. He's a guy who can tell you to go to hell in a way that makes you look forward to the trip.

Q. What does it mean when a diplomat says, Maybe?
A. He means NO.

Q. What does it mean when a diplomat says, NO?
A. He's not a diplomat.

Q. What is a farmer's favorite party game?
A. Truth or Dairy!

Q. Why was the farmer so stressed out?
A. He had a high thresher job!

Q. Why did the blonde farmer plant cheerios?
A. He thought they were donut seeds.

Q. What did the farmer get when he crossed a chilie pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?
A. A hot diggity dog!

Q. What music do chiropractors enjoy most?
A. Hip Pop.

Q. What did the orthopedist say about working with fractures?
A. It isn't all it's cracked up to be.

A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling jokes. The bone doc's jokes were humerus, but the eye doc's puns were cornea!

Hey Gnirl, I'm no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight!Did you hear about the optician? Two glasses, and he made a spectacle of himself.Hey Gnirl, I'm photographer, but I'm picturing us together!

Q. Why did the weather forecaster move to a different climate?
A. Because the weather didn't agree with him.

Did you hear about the two weathermen who both broke an arm and a leg in a storm-chasing accident? They called in from the hospital about the four casts!

Q. Where does the weatherman stop for happy hour after work?
A. The Isobar!

Q. What do you call an eye doctor in Alaska?
A. An optical Aleutian.

A man goes to an eye doctor and says, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." Receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" The man replies, "No, just spots."

Optician: It looks like you need glasses.
Patient: But, I'm wearing glasses.
Optician: Then I must need glasses ...

Gnome wonder there are not many dark rooms these days? Ew!

Q. Why is it tough to be a photographer?
A. You have to deal with a lot of crop!

Q. Which kind of pet does a photographer prefer?
A. A snapping turtle.

Q. Why did the photographer give up his career?
A. He lost focus.

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |


PainfulPuns Home
You've lasted this far, so here's more break room humor, water cooler jokes,
and strictly business painful puns to digest during your lunch hour:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Blonde Jokes | Cheesy Puns | Funny Fashion | Light Bulb Jokes | Funny Money | Music Memes |
| Old Never Die Jokes | Pet Puns | Pirate Jokes | Pitiful Pick-Up Lines | Scary Funny Humor |
| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sick Humor | Sports Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Weed Is Punny! |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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