I used to work at Starbucks, but I got tired of the daily grind.   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. Why did the vampire consider hiself a good artist? A. He like to draw blood!
Q. How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Hmm... 1 or 2?
Q. what do you call an officer with bugs? A. Po-Lice!
Q. How are the most successful male models paid? A. Handsomely!

 


Job Jokes, Work Humor, Making a Living Puns
Make the big bucks with career humor, funny job puns, and salesman jokes that do pay off.

Work Jokes, Hired Puns, Occupation Humor
(Because Funny Job Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When You're Trying to Work Out a Problem!)
Warning: Freelance at Your Own Risk! Cheesy salesman jokes, artisan humor, and profession puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |
| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

Q. When is rancher like a magician? A. When he turns a cow into a pasture!Q. How many art directors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Does it have to be a light bulb?I used to be a Velcro salesman, but I could not stick with it.

Q. What do you get if you cross a magician and a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!

Q. What do you call a magician cow who can jump over the moon?
A. Moo-dini.

Q. What do you call a magician who was abducted by aliens?
A. A flying sorcerer.

Q. What's the difference between a magician's assistant and an onion?
A. People cry when an onion gets cut up.

Q. Which puns do art critics enjoy?
A. Perfectly illustrated punch lines.

Q. What did the graphic novel artist say to his rival?
A. Pow! I challenge you to a doodle!

Q. Why did the obsessed artist need a laxative?
A. Because he was consti-painted.

Q. What does a fine artist sing when he's in Dire Straights?
A. Monet for Nothing.

Q. Which TV game show do salesmen watch during their lunch hour?
A. Let's Make a Deal.

Q. Why did the blanket salesman join the police force?
A. Because he liked working under cover.

Q. Why did the salesman go to a shrink?
A. He couldn't stop talking to himself and ended up with a garage full of stuff he didn't want!

Q. What did the blonde say when a salesman tried to sell her a pocket calculator?
A. I already know how many pockets I have.

Q. What does Spider-Man do for a living? A. He's a Web Designer!Q. What do you call a guy who owns a successful kitchen appliance store? A. A refrigerator magnate!Q. Why did Batman take Wonder Woman to a used car dealership? A. To use her lasso of truth on the salesman!

Q. What's it called when an artist sketches somebody taking a breath?
A. Drawing inspiration.

Q. Why won't they let artists join the army?
A. Because they have a tendency to draw enemy fire.

Q. Why does the artist paint in jail?
A. Because he had a brush with the law.

Q. What does it take to be a great chef?
A. It boils down to beating the other chefs to the cutting edge recipes.

Q. What is the enthusiastic chef's motto?
A. Thyme flies when you're having fun.

Did you hear about the dominatrix chef? She beats the eggs and whips the cream!

Q. What do you call a pro car salesman?
A. A car-deal-ologist.

Q. What's the difference between a used car salesman and a software salesman?
A. The used car guy knows he's lying.

Q. Which type of salesman has the slickest line?
A. A car salesman with greasy hair.

Q. Why couldn't the cops apprehend the suspect at the cathedral? A. They didn't have a church warrant!Why Did the Farmer Quit? His celery wasn't high enough!Q. What do you call an unpredictable out of control photographer? A. A Loose Canon!

Q. What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?
A. One steals from the people, and the other peals from the steeple.

Q. What do you call a flying policeman?
A. A helicopter.

Q. Why did the burglar take a shower?
A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!

Q. What do you get if you cross a robot and a tractor?
A. A Trans-farmer!

Q. What did the pig do after the farmer said, "Hogwash?"
A. Took a bath.

Q. Why did the farmer plow his field with a steam roller?
A. He wanted mashed potatoes.

Q. Why can't you find a broad array of photographer jokes?
A. Because they just don't pan out.

Q. What kind of pics does a turtle photographer snap?
A. Shell-fies.

Q. Why did the photographer get in an argument with the gallery owner?
A. He wasn't in the right frame of mind.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!I used to be a tailor, but I found the work to be so-so.Q. Why should you love your eye doctor? A. It's an eye-deal relationship!

Q. Where do mathematicians like to go on vacation?
A. To Times Square!

Q. How does a math professor propose to his girlfriend?
A. With a polynomial ring!

Q. How can you tell if a mathematician is extroverted?
A. When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q. What happened when the best tailor in town passed away?
A. He was given a fitting eulogy.

Q. How was the fashion designer's girlfriend like an incompetent tailor?
A. She didn't suit him.

Q. What did the tailor say after his client fired him?
A. Okay, suit yourself.

Q. How does an eye doctor tickle a patient's funny bone?
A. He tells a couple of hum-iris jokes.

Q. Why did a woman go to the optician to return a pair of glasses she bought for her husband?
A. He still wasn't seeing things her way.

Q. What is an eye doctor's favorite pick-up line?
A. Does your left eye hurt? 'Cause you're lookin' alright!

| Job Jokes, Career Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Actor Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut Puns | Athlete Jokes | Author Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Barber Jokes | Bartender Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Cowboy Jokes | Criminal Puns | Dentist Jokes | Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Eye Doc Puns |
| Farmer Jokes | Home Contractor Jokes | Landlord Puns | Lawyer Jokes | Locksmith Puns |
| Magician Puns | Musician Jokes | Optician Puns | Plumber Puns | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Scientist Jokes | Shrink Puns | Superhero | Teacher Jokes | Tech Support | Weatherman Humor |

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You've worked it this far, so here's more high dollar humor, cheap laughs,
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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Funny Weed Jokes | Zombie Jokes |

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