Q. What Do You Call Two People in an Ambulance? A. Pair of Medics   PainfulPuns.com - Job Jokes, Funny Occupations, Work Whoas?

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Q. How many newspaper columnists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but he'll tell everybody!
Q. What do you need to become an expert mechanic? A. Fine Motor Skills!
Q. What do you call an armed watchman who's had a scor of guards fill the post before he did? A. The Twent-First Sentry!
Q. How does a locksmith take a walk on the wild side? A. He Gets Funky!


Occupation Humor, Job Jokes, Work Whoas
Work off employment frustration with funny job jokes, work humor, and occupational laughs.

On the Job Puns, Work Humor, Career Laughter
(Because Worked Up Jokes and On the Job Puns Could Never Be Too Mainstream if You've Been Laid Off!)
Warning: It's 5:00 PM somewhere right now, so don't get worked up! Work humor, job jokes and paid puns ahead.
| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

Zombie Humor: I tried working in a bakery, but I wasn't bread for it.How did a computer technician get 3rd degree burns? He touched the firewall!A butcher tried standup comedy, but he didn't make the cut.

Q. Why was the rogue baker such a desperate thief?
A. Because he really kneaded the dough!

Q. Why are bakery bread jokes always so funny?
A. They never get mold.

Q. Why don't Indian bakers worry about bread?
A. Because it's a naan issue.

Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers!

Q. Where do computer techs keep their money?
A. In a data bank.

Q. Why did the computer spy quit?
A. He just couldn't hack it anymore.

Computer programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for life.

Q. What did the butcher call the cow with a twitch?
A. Beef Jerky.

Q. Why did the deli owner fail at stand-up comedy?
A. Because he always painfully managed to butcher the punch lines.

Q. Which social event do butchers look forward to each year?
A. The Meat Ball.

Potty Humor: Urologists Know How to Go with the Flow! Old laser physicists never die. They just become incoherent.Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud! "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

Q. Why do angry people think urologist jokes are not funny?
A. Because they're pissed off.

Q. Why did two urologists get kicked off the golf course?
A. Because they got into a pissing contest.

Q. What can't a urologist offer his patients?
A. Free samples.

Q.What is a physicist's favorite food?
A. Fission chips.

Q. What do you call a group of environmentally conscientious physicists?
A. Con-CERNed.

Q. How many theorhetical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the Universe.

Did you ever notice when you serve someone cold coffee, it makes them piping mad?

Q. What did the barista's hot lover say?
A. I can't espresso my love for you!

Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the coffee house for wearing a T-shirt?

Bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.

Two surgeons were joking about sutures and had each other in stitches.Q. How does a sea captain use amphibians? A. As frog hornsI used to be a road digger, but I got retrenched.

Q. Did you hear about the circumcision doctor?
A. He slipped and got the sack.

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade? She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy – and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now!

Q. What did the sea say to the captain of the pirate ship?
A. Nothing. It just waved.

Q. Where do the captains of the buccaneer ship line have meetings?
A. At Cor-pirate headquarters.

Q. During which time period did the sea captain put out the most distress calls?
A. During his mayday heyday.

Q. Why is dating so hard for steam-roller operators?
A. Because they're overly flattering.

Q. What do road construction crews use at the North Pole?
A. Snow cones.

Q. Why did the handyman buy a new truck?
A. So he could tool around!

Hi, I'm from the corporate gnome office.I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patience.Hardworking Meme Makes Gnome Cents

Management gnome from corporate gnome office showed up today. Aren't you glad it's Friday?

Q. What do you call workers employed by big companies to appraise things?
A. Corporate raters.

Q. What is the major cause of business failure?
A. Corporate money flaw.

Poor guy was in the hospital with 60% burns. Doc says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Doc replies, "No, but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"

Nurse: "Doc, we have lost our patient."
Doctor: "Oh no, what happened?"
Nurse: "He recovered."

Doctor: "You only have six months to live."
Man: "I can't pay your bill."
Doctor: "Okay then, I'll give you another six months."

Q. Which bank should you recommend to your deer friend?
A. The one that offers the most bang for the buck.

Q. What do you call a very obese bank employee who is very intuitive?
A. A four-chin teller.

Q. When is it bad business to be reaching higher?
A. When you're a bank teller in a hold-up!

| Actor Jokes | Artist | Author | Baker | Barber | Banker | Bartender | Chef | Chemist |
| Contractor | Dentist | Doctor Jokes | Eye Doc | Farmer Humor | Landlord | Lawyer Jokes |
| Locksmith | Magician | Musician | Police | Scientist | Shrink | Teacher | Weatherman |
| On the Job Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

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You've lasted this far, so here's even more after hours laughter,
happy hour humor, and part-time painful puns to joke about at lunch:

More Painful Puns, Groaners Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sick Humor | Sports Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Weed Is Punny! |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Edible Puns, Fun with Food Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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