Dijon Vu: The Same Mustard As Before. OUCH!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. What do you call a cleaning ghoul? A. The Grim Sweeper!
Q. What is the blood type of happy people? A. B Positive!
Q. How man Germans does it take to change a light bulb? A. One. Germans are efficient and not very funny!
What rhymes with orange? A. No, it doesn't!

 


Groaner Riddles, Horrible Jokes, Horrid Humor
Feel the ouch with horrendous groaner jokes, side-splitting humor, and painful puns.

Funny Groaner Jokes That Hurt So Good – Ouch!
(Because Bloody Funny Jokes, Horrible Humor, and Knee-Jerking Puns Could Never Be Too Mainstream)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Hideous punch lines, groaner jokes, and painful puns that bite ahead.
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A dentist married a manicurist, but they fought like tooth and nail!All the toilets in NYC police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on!Q. What Did the Coach Say to His Losing Team of Snakes? A. You Can't Venom All!

The dentist attended Emory and the manicurist still goes to Emery.

Did you hear about the dentist's daughter? Now, she's a world-renowned ahh-pera singer!

Q. What does a dentist call an astronaut's cavity?
A. A Black Hole.

Dentists have their own flossophy about how to keep teeth clean.

Q. Why did the cop sit on the toilet?
A. To do his duty.

Q. Why shouldn't you play poker with a plumber?
A. A good flush beats a full house every time!

Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!

Q. What do you call a fart in German?
A. Fartfropoopin!

Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A. A Pythong!

Q. What is a snake's favorite dance?
A. The Mamba.

Q. What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A. Hiss-tory!

Q. What was the snake's best subject in school?
A. Math, because he was an adder.

If you think that restaurants overcook steaks, you probably rarely order.Q. What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes? A. A Water-Felon!Orthopedist claims working with fractures isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Q. What is the lowest grade of steak?
A. Where the rubber meets the road.

Q. Why was the steak a terrible gossip?
A. It wasn't juicy enough.

Q. Why do steaks make such terrific baseball players?
A. Because they're great at the plate!

Steak Pick-Up Line: You're my grill and I'm your broil.

Q. Why aren't watermelon puns funny?
A. Because they make you lose your rind.

Q. Why did one melon break up with the other?
A. He didn't know water problem was.

Q. What did the watermelon order from his bartender?
A. A rum and cuke.

Q. Why do watermelons like painful puns?
A. Because they're so seedy.

Q. How many orthopedists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why don't you just take out the socket? You're not using it anyway.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places...

Q. What do you call two orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A. A double blind study.

Stinky Pun: Hey, did you fart? 'Cause you just BLEW me away! Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problemsq. What type of photos do brains post at Facebook? A. Cell-fies!

Stinking funny Pick Up Line: Gnome wonder these two have a hard time finding a date.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably sh*t!

When people hug you, fart really loudly. You'll make them feel very strong!

Groaner Point to Ponder: Do clown farts smell funny?

Farting on an elevator is just so wrong on so many levels!

Q. What is the opposite of coffee?
A. Sneezy!

Q. How are men like coffee?
A. The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night.

Q. How does a tech guy drink coffee?
A. He installs Java.

Q. Why did the guy get fired from the coffee shop?
A. For wearing a T-shirt.

Q. How is Facebook like prison?
A. You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on the wall, and you get poked by guys you hardly know!

Q. Why is Facebook a great place for loners?
A. Because it's the only site where they can talk to a wall and not be considered a loser!

Now that selfies have become so common, my feed is pretty much Me, Myself, and I. I guess that's why Irene unfriended me?

Q. What is green and goes to summer camp? A Brussels ScoutHey Gnirl, do you need a Band-aid? 'Cause falling from heaven must hurt!The rise of the orthopedic practice depends on the fall of the patients.

Q. Why don't mummies go to summer camp?
A. Because they're arfraid to relax and unwind!

Q. Where do sharks go to summer camp?
A. Finland.

Q. Where do cows go to summer camp?
A. Upstate Moo York.

Botanists have developed a vegetable that eliminates the need to brush your teeth: Bristle Sprouts.

First aid getting to first base. Ouch!

Medical Pick-Up Line: Am I attracted to you, or is it just volatile blood sugars?

Groaner Point to Ponder: Can Pick Up Lines make you sick?

First Aid Pick-Up Line: Are you drowning? Because I'm feeling the urge to give you CPR.

Medical Pick-Up Line: Let's exchange genetic infomation!

Man: "The doctor said he'd have me back on my feet in two weeks."
Friend: "And, did he?"
Man: "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

Q. Did you hear about the circumcision doctor?
A. He slipped and got the sack.

Q. What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
A. One treats what you have, and the other thinks you have what he treats.

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
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Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners! Monstrously Funny Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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