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Q. Which song do vampires really detest? A. You Are My Sunshine!
Wine Humor: Is a wine hangover the wrath of grapes?
Weed Leaf Says: Wake Up And Bake Up!
Happy Mud Day! More coffee please

Hangover: The Wrath of Grapes
Thank God it's Monday! ~ My Liver!

 


Sunrise Jokes, Morning Puns, Early Hours Humor
Wake up to alarming puns, dawn humor, lazy bones laughs and miserable Monday morning jokes.

Morning Jokes, Daybreak Humor, Dawn Puns
(Because Rise 'n Shine Jokes and Too Early Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream! When You Wake Up 'n Bake Up)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Breakfast jokes, sun up humor, funny egg yolks and brewed coffee puns ahead.
| Morning Laughs | Noon Jokes | Night Humor | Bed Jokes | Insult Jokes | Compliment Jokes |
| Blonde Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | Bald Jokes | Hipster LOLs | Psychic Jokes | Hot Puns | Cold Jokes |
| Furniture Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Underwear Puns | Divorce Jokes | Traffic Jokes | Manly Jokes |

Crow Chef Asks. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? A. Every morning, you rise and shine!
 
Lush Humor: Can you drink alcohol for breakfast? Wine not?
 
Q. What does a locksmith like in the morning before work? A. A Quickie!

Q. What does a French chef say when he's late to work in the morning?
A. Sorry omelette.

Q. What does a policeman hate on his morning toast?
A. Traffic Jam.

Q. How did artist Salvador Dali begin his days?
A. With a morning bowl of surreal.

Q. Why can't you tease egg whites at the crack of dawn?
A. Because they can't take a yolk!

Miserable Monday LOL: Rolling out of bed on Monday morning is easy, but getting up off the floor is another story.

Q. Which days of the week are a mere blur the following morning?
A. Thurs-Daze.

Q. What is the shortest horror story ever written?
A. Three words: Mourning Monday Morning.

Q. What does Shrek always like to eat for breakfast every morning?
A. Eggs Ogre Easy!

Bro: Do you wake up grumpy in the morning?
Dude: Nah, I just bring her a cup of coffee.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that won't get up in the morning?
A. Lazy Bones!

Q. Why didn't the zombie get the TV morning show host job?
A. They wanted someone more lively.

Q. How do Painful Punsters prefer their eggs cooked bright and early every morning?
A. Funny side up!

Bakers DO earn the majority of their income in the morning, making most of their dough at yeast by a leaven o'clock.
 
Monday morning coffee is just as important as Friday night beer...almost!
 
Food Pun: Every morning, I think I'll make pancakes, but I keep Waffling.

Q. What do bakers do every morning before leaving for work?
A. Make sure their bread is made.

Q. Which special cloak is worn only while eating a morning meal?
A. A breakfast wrap.

Greens Point to Ponder: Why is it so easy to wake up at 6:00 A.M. to play golf on Saturday morning than to wake up at 10:00 A.M. to mow the lawn?

Colorado Craft Beer Point to Ponder: After sampling numerous tasty beers on Saturday night, shouldn't there be Hop Tarts to toast your Sunday morning?

Q. What is it called when it's harder and harder to get out of bed each Monday morning?
A. A wakening week-en-ing.

Early Monday Point to Ponder: Were Monday mornings invented to punish us for all the fun we had over the weekend?

Q. On Monday morning, why do we ask "How was your weekend?"
A. So we can tell everybody about our weekend!

Monday Thought of the Day: I've heard about history repeating itself, but I wish the vicious cycle of Monday mornings would stop!

Morning Meal Point to Ponder: Is eating breakfast in front of the TV at the same time every day actually breakfast cereal?

Today's Breakfast Groan: I had a problem with my boiled egg this morning, but I've cracked it now.

Q. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Take two aspirins and call in the morning...

Saturday Smile of the Day: You know you're a grownup when you enjoy Saturday morning coffee as much as you used to enjoy Saturday morning cartoons.

Hey Gnirl, the sun isn't the only thing that rises!
 
Q. What does a locksmith like to eat for brunch? A. Quiche!
 
Stinking Funny Pun: Q. What did the judge say when skunks walked into court? A. Good morning, lawyers.

Q. How can you tell you had a wild and wonderful weekend?
A. By the number of pics you have to un-tag on Montag morning!

Q. How can you tell it's Monday morning?
A. Your right eye is glued shut and your left eye won't stop twitching!

Stoner Pick-Up Line: Hey Bae, if you spend the night, we can wake up and bake up in the morning.

Tequila is a great drink because while you're drinking it in Greeley, you feel like a cactus. The only problem is in the morning, the needles all grow inward.

Customer: Waiter, will the pancakes be long this morning?
IHOP Waiter: No sir, they'll be round.

Q. What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
A. The worst running gag ever.

Q. Why do runners go jogging first thing in the morning?
A. They hope to finish before their brain realizes what they're doing.

Q. How did the guy know he was destined to wake up and bake up a blunt?
A. He was born on April 20 and his name is Smokey.

Q. Would the weather be clear for the hot air balloon's morning flight?
A. It was up in the air.

Q. What do avid board game players eat for breakfast every morning?
A. Scrabbled eggs.

Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Q. What happens when a plaster delivery truck wrecks on I25 and spills a load during morning rush hour?
A. You get stucco in traffic.

Q. Why do brain surgeons schedule surgery so early in the morning?
A. So that they can work ahead.

Q. How do monsters like their eggs cooked in the morning?
A. Terror-fried!

Weedy Fine Point to Ponder in Your Dreams: Why just wake up, when you could wake up and bake up?

Mooving Banana Joke: How are cereal bananas like cows? A. Both get milked every morning!
 
Q. What do snowment eat for breakfast? A. Frosted Flakes!
 
Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!

Q. What is the perfect summer weekend morning?
A. When the sky is blue, flowers are blooming, bees are buzzing, birds are singing and your neighbor's lawn mower is broken.

Toasted Thought of the Morning: If we got rid of all the margarine and oleo, the world would be a butter place.

Q. How does a pessimist always order his eggs every morning?
A. Sunny Side Down.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke first thing in the morning?
A. Because it might crack up.

Weekly Grind: On Monday morning, my favorite coworker is Coffee.

Q. What does coffee say first thing in the morning?
A. It's a brew-tiful day!

Note To HR: I hate dealing with people before I've had my morning coffee. PS: I don't drink coffee!

Q. Which train rushes the morning coffee into Seattle?
A. The Expresso.

Q. What is it called if you choke on your morning joe?
A. Cough-eee.

Q. What do you call a rooster that wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A. An alarm cluck!

Q. How do you stop a rooster from crowing on Sunday morning?
A. Eat him Saturday night.

Q. What time does a rooster wake up and visit the outhouse?
A. At the crap of dawn.

Q. What does a tired rooster say in the morning?
A. Cock-a-doodle-DON'T!

Saturday Morning Pick-Up Line: Is your name Dawn? 'Cause pinch me, I must be dreaming.

Happy Monday! More Coffee Please
 
Q. Why was Dick Grayson called Robin? A. Calling him Early Bird sounded silly!
 
Wine Humor: What is it called when you get a hangover from drinking wine? A. The grape depression!

Q. What did the coffee addict tell himself every morning?
A. I don't have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!

Q. Did you realize Coffee spelled backward is eeffoC?
A. The only tiime you'd even think about that fact is before you've had your morning mugs, and that's an EeFFOC.

Customer: This coffee tastes like dirt!
Blonde Waiter: Yes sir, that's because it was ground this morning.

Classic 420 Quip: It's always 420 in Colorado, so wake up and bake up!

Q. Why do funereral directors like to stay up all night to watch the sun rise?
A. Because they're really into mourning.

Monday Morning Laugh: Is it Friday yet?

Q. Which superhero comes to your rescue on Monday mornings?
A. Coffee!

Q. Why are cold coffee and smokin' marijuana such a popular wake up and bake up ritual in Colorado?
A. 'Cause that's the reason ice mocha lot of weed.

Q. What is the only bummer early Saturday morning?
A. Having to watch infomericials before the cartoons start!

Q. How does a penguin chef make pancakes each morning?
A. He uses his flippers.

Did you hear about the blonde who went to the gym on her own Accord this morning. Well, why would she drive somebody else's car? Duh!

Q. How do you know you've had the best Friday night you could?
A. 'Cause you can sleep in as late as you want to or need to on Saturday morning!

Friday night is my Bud, but Saturday morning is my Bae.

Friday Morning Ha Ha Highlight of the Day: Better days are ahead. They're called Saturday and Sunday!

Monday Morning Bummer: Due to budget cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until Tuesday!

Friday Night Point to Ponder: Is Saturday morning inevitable, or can you just put it off until Sunday or Monday?

Q. What did the over-enthusiastic party goer say to the host at midnight?
A. Mind if I hang over at your place in the morning?

| Morning Puns | Noon Jokes | Night Humor | Bed Jokes | Insult Jokes | Compliment Jokes |
| Blonde Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | Bald Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Psychic Puns | Colorful Groans |
| Fashion Jokes | Shoe Groans | Underwear Jokes | Divorce Jokes | Traffic Jokes | Manly Jokes |
| Furniture Jokes | Shopping Jokes | Grocery Store Groaners | Germ Jokes | Weather Jokes |
| Home Sweet Home Humor | Stinking Funny Jokes | Clean Groaners | Hot Puns | Cold Jokes |
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Timely Puns | Cross the Road Jokes |
| Daily Groans | Light Bulb Jokes | Painful Pirate Puns | Arr! | Creepy Clown Jokes | Mime Puns |
| Groaner Jokes | Police Puns | Lawyer LOLs | Criminal Jokes | Money Puns | Gambling Jokes
|

PainfulPuns Home
You're up for some grins, so here's more bright-eyed humor, busy-tailed
jokes, caffeinated laughs and alarming painful puns you'll crow about:

| More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Baker Jokes | Batman Puns | Beer Jokes | Breakfast Puns | Coffee Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Egg Yolks | Guy LOLs |
| Judge Jokes | Locksmith Jokes | Monday Laughs | Music Jokes | Pothead Puns | Rooster Jokes | Running Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Laughs | Snowman Jokes | Sports Jokes | Sun Puns | Vampire LOLs | Wine Lover Jokes |

Clucking Funny Farm Animal PunsEdible Puns, Fun with Food Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Monstrously Funny PunsCrappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns

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