Are you a 90º angle? 'Cause you're looking so right! - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Did you swallow magnets? 'Cause gnirl, you're so attractive!
Q. What do you call a cabbage with a good body? A. Head and shoulders above the rest!
Hey Gnirl, are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only 10 I see!

Q. What did one firefly say to another? A. You glow girl!

Excuse me, is your gname Grace? 'Cause you're looking amazing!
Q. Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A. Somebody told him he was ripped!
Police pick-up line for blondes: Officer, that's a mighty big flashlight you have there!


Compliment Jokes, High Praise Puns, Glowing LOLs
Freely kiss up with complimentary comment puns, flattering humor, and complementary jokes.

Flattery Jokes, Compliment LOLs, Buttered-Up Puns
(Because Glowing Comment Jokes and Flattering Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream At the Nuclear Bomb Site!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Glowing remark jokes, kiss-up grins, comped LOLs and overly flattering puns ahead.
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Q. How do you compliment a donkey? A. "Hay, nice ass!"
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment!
Q. How does a locksmith give you a compliment? A. You're locking good!

Q. What co you say to compliment a snake charmer?
A. Nice asp!

Q. What can you say to compliment a volcanologist?
A. You are finer than pyroclastic ash.

Q. What did one dinosaur say to flatter another?
A. Hey Rex, you literally put the ass in Jurassic.

Q. How do you compliment a donkey comedian?
A. You just start laughing your ass off!

Q. What did the owner of the iron factory say to his newly hired sales rep?
A. Flattery will get you everywhere.

Q. Why is it so difficult to compliment a mountain climber?
A. Because they're not at all interested in flattery.

The banker offered the hot blonde a great compliment. He said all her accounts have outstanding balances…

Q. Which Dynamic Due was know for their over-flatter-ing dialogs?
A. Flatman and Ribbon.

Q. What flattering nickname do you give a hipster who plays poker exceptionally well?
A. Chipster.

Q. Why do people like free tickets to popular events?
A. Because they're complementary.

Q. How do you compliment your locksmith for a job well done?
A. Tell him he's a real keeper.

Q. What does a locksmith say to compliment you?
A. I'd pick you any day!

Q. What can you say to flatter a keen locksmith?
A. You are lock-key-i'n fine!

Q. What did the cougar cat lady say to flatter the handsome young loksmith?
A. You are as cute as my key-ty cat.

Q. What is the motto of the steam roller operator?
A. Flattery works for me!

Hey Gnirl, are you from Star Wars? 'Cause yodalicious!
Chimp Chef Asks: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? A. you get buttered up!
You look so sweet that you're giving me a cavity!

Q. What might you say to flatter a bartender?
A. Hey babe, is your name Toddy? 'Cause you sure are hot.

Overheard at the Bar: "You are so good looking!" "You've got the hottest bod in town!" "You really rock!"
Puzzled Customer to Bartender: "Wow, what was that?"
Bartender: Oh, that's just the penuts. They're complimentary."

Luau Compliment Come-On: Hey girl, that's one lovely bunch of coconuts.

Q. Why did red flatter green and green make glowing remarks about red?
A. Because they're complimentary colors.

Today's Hot Compliment: The chef's cooking was so good that even the smoke alarm cheers him on!

Q. What can you say to compliment a baker?
A. Nice buns!

Cooking Compliment of the Day: Geat chefs are pretty cleaver!

Q. Why did customers write glowing reviews about the tasty free samles at the deli counter?
A. Because they were complementary.

Flattering French Chef Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you're twice as sweet as Creme Brulee, and a lot less drippy.

Q. What did the zombie say to compliment his date?
A. I love a woman with brains!

Q. What did the eyeball say when it first tasted cheesecake?
A. That's to eye for!

Q. What do you say to flatter a Baker?
A. Hey sweetie, you are sugar, and spice, and everything nice!

The dessert chef was really smart. He graduated Pie Baker Kappa!

Q. Why do Denver Broncos fans look so great wearing all that orange and blue?
A. 'Cause they're complimentary colors.

Gym Pick-Up Line: Is your body from McDonald's? 'Cause I'm Lovin' It!
Crow Chef Says: Baby, if you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple!
Hey Gnirl, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first!

Q. What can you say to flatter somebody with a hot body?
A. Hey baby, do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kicking!

Q. What can you say to compliment the new eye doctor?
A. Tell him that he's a true visionary.

Q. What was the cavewoman's flattering pet name for her well-endowed mate?
A. The King of Clubs.

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. Cute, but can you breath through it?

Q. What did the shy corn at the farmer's market say when it got a huge compliment?
A. Aw, shucks.

Q. What do you say to compliment a pumpkin farmer?
A. You are looking so gourdgeous.

A lemon walks into a bar. Bartender looks him over and says, "You know, I like you. You've got a lot of a peel."

Waffle House Compliment Come-On: Hey girl, are you a pancake? 'Cause you look flippin' hot!

Blurry Compliment of the Year: Hey girl, your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl!

Q. Why did the hunky optician get so many compliments from the ladies?
A. He had specs appeal!

Q. What do you say to compliment a paleontolgist?
A. I dig you!

Q. What does an Italian chef say to flatter a hottie?
A. Hey Donna, are you a cheese pizza? 'Cause you certainly are one deep dish!

Babe, I gnome my math and you have one significant figure!
Gym Pick-Up Line: If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Gnirl, you're so hot the sun is jealous!

Math Geek Compliment for March 14: Hey babe, you look sweeter than pi!

Flattering Come-On Cooked Up in the Chemistry Lab: Hey baby, are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? 'Cause you are Be-Au-Ti-ful.

Complimentary Chemistry Pick Up Line: Hey baby, are you made of Nickel, Cerium, arsenic and Sulfur? 'Cause you've got a NiCe AsS.

Q. What can you say to flatter a physicist?
A. you're more special than relativity.

Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer likes to go fishing, plus beer never fishes for compliments!

Q. Why did the blonde bodybuilder change her workout clothes?
A. Somebody said she was ripped.

Did you hear about the choir singer with augmented breasts? Everybody says she has a great falsetto!

Q. How do guys at the strip club describe the dancer with the nicest rack?
A. Titillating.

Q. What do you say to compliment an astronomer?
A. You have one heavenly body!

Science Lab Compliment of the Day: Hey girl, you're hotter than a Bunsen burner set on full power.

Q. What can you say to flatter a scientist?
A. Even the Kelvin scale can't describe how hot you are.

Today's Core Compliment: Hey girl, you're so hot you'd cause a nuclear reactor to melt down.

Q. What did one watermelon say to another on Valentine's Day? A. You're on in a melon!
Barely legal police pick-up line: Stop! Don't you know it's illegal to look that fine?
Q. What did toast say to its topping on Valentine's Day? A. You're my butter half!

Q. What do you say to compliment a vegetable gardener?
A. Smashing Pumpkins!

Q. What do you say to an Iowa farmer whose crop is knee-high by the 4th of July?
A. Corn-gratulations!

Q. What is the most awesome veggie at your local farmer's market?
A. The RAD-ish.

Q. What does a rancher say to compliment his best gal?
A. Hey Bess, you've got beautiful calves.

Equine Chat Up Compliment: Hey there, I bet the other donkeys are jealous 'cause that's one fine ass.

Q. What co you say to compliment a Pachyderm?
A. You are looking Ella-phant-astic.

Q. What is the creedo of the demolition crew?
A. Flattery is a powerful tool.

Q. Why is the flowing slogan at the nuclear weapons facility?
A. Flattery is powerful.

Today's Intoxicating Compliment: Hey babe, I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by your beauty.

Flatter Your Way Out of a JamLine: No Officer, I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by the amazing six-pack under your vest.

Q. What complimentary term describes a judge who is exceptionally honest?
A. Tried and true.

Incredible Flattery Line: Hey dude, is your name Hulk? 'Cause you are really smashing.

Superman Flattery Line: Hey girl, they say I can do just about anything, but I wish I could look as good as you do.

Q. Which prestigious and coveted trophy did the firefighter get at the Fireman's Ball?
A. The Extinguished Service Award.

Q. What do you call the heroic fireman who was featured on the evening TV news?
A. Flamous.

Q. Why was the lawn crew at the Denver Broncos' stadium given the Best in Grass Award?
A. Because they were out standing in their field.

Q. What flattering award is given to the horse who drank the most water?
A. A nice little trough-y.

Q. What does a chef say to flatter a hot dish?
A. Hey babe, you remind me of my spice cabinet because you've got a fine grind goin' on!

Q. Why was the restaurant called Out of This World?
A. Because it was famous for unidentified frying objects.

Vegetarian Chef Pick Up Line: Hey girl, if you were a veggie, you'd be one cute-cumber!

Q. How do you flatter a cat lady?
A. Tell her she's meow-valous and purrr-fect.

Q. How do you compliment a friendly polar bear?
A. Tell him he's an ice guy.

Q. What did the famous snake get from his admirers?
A. Fang letters.

Q. How did the male elephant find a female elephant?
A. Very attractive.

Q. Why do visitors enjoy flattey jokes at PainfulPuns?
A. Because they're dually complimtary and complementary.

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