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Q. Why did the robber take a bath? A. He wanted to make a clean getaway!
Did you hear about the couple getting married who had a minor dispute? It soon turned into an altar-cation!
Hulk Asks: What do toilets and anniversaries have in common? A. Men always miss them!
Q. How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight!

 


Groaner Humor, Painful Jokes, Funny OUCH!
Hurt yourself so good with miserable groaner jokes, ouch puns, and sternly funny humor.

Ouch! Groaner Jokes and Agonizing Humor
(Because Lame Jokes and Painless Puns Are Way Too Mainstream for Your Stern Joke Dominatrix!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk. Groaner Jokes and painful puns ahead are 100% guaranteed to hurt!
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
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A guy hit another on the head with a pop bottle, killing him. In court, he said he was influenced by the song "Let's Get Fizzy-Kill."A good baker always rises to the occasion. It's the yeast he can do!Groaner Pun: A bear was hit by an 18-wheeler. It was a grizzly accident.

Q. Why did the blonde snort Sweet'n Low?
A. She thought it was Diet Coke.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job crushing soft drink cans at the aluminum recycling center?
A. Because it was just soda pressing.

Q. Which soft drink do frogs and toads prefer?
A. Croak-a-Cola.

Bubbly pick-up line: If I was a soda, I'd Mountain Dew you.

Q. What do bakers give ladies on special occasions?
A. Flours.

Q. What game do bakers play in a circle?
A. Marble Bread.

Working in a bakery for decades left the baker with a loathe of bread.

Q. What did they say about the old baker's favorite song?
A. It's a moldie, but a goodie!

Q. What do you call a wet bear?
A. A drizzly bear!

Q. Which kind of bear changes his mind every few minutes?
A. A bi-polar bear.

Q. When do bruin couples stop arguing?
A. When it becomes un-bear-able, or it's time to hibernate.

Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground BeefProctologists reASSure patients their problem can be rectified. (Ouch!)Crappy Gnome Humor: My love for you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in!

Q. What do you call a cow with one leg?
A. Steak.

Q. Which beef steak can see into your future?
A. A Medium.

Q. What is the lowest grade of steak?
A. Where the rubber meets the road.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cow?
A. Hound Beef!

People who tell you that they're constipated are full of crap.

Q. Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A. Because the P is silent.

Q. What did the poop say to the fart?
A. Wow, you just blew me away!

Q. What did one fly ask another fly?
A. Is this stool taken?

This come-on is a real stinker, gnome doubt.

Q. Why won't blondes take their iPhones to the bathroom?
A. Because they don't want to give away their iPU address!

Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Yes, it runs in your jeans.

Q. What is the definition of bravery and guts?
A. A guy with diarrhea chancing a fart.

Q. If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A. A Bagel!Bat Humor: Speaking ill of the dead is a grave mistakeWhat is the difference between spinach & boogers? Kids won't eat spinach.

Q. Why did the seagull fly over the bay?
A. He had a craving for lox and cream cheese!

Q. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A. Cliff.

Q. What's a gull that works online called?
A. An e-gull.

Q. What kind of birds spend a lot of time on their knees?
A. Birds of Prey.

Q. What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
A. "Wow, you're in Grave condition!"

Q. Where do monsters like to go hiking?
A. Death Valley.

Q. What do you call zombies that can't run?
A. The Walking Dead!

Q. Where do mummies go for a swim?
A. The Dead Sea!

Groaner Point to Ponder: Did Popeye eat both spinach and boogers?

Q. Where does you nose go when it gets hungry?
A. Booger King.

Q. How does Popeye keep his tool from rusting?
A. He sticks it in Olive Oyl.

Q. Why did the man catch his nose?
A. Because it was running.

Animal Pun: The rodent club finished drafting a constitution, but it has yet to be ratified.Should you ever question your cheese? No, only when it's up to no gouda.99% of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.

Q. What is small, has a long tail, and works with the police?
A. A gerbil shepherd.

Q. What mouse was a Roman emperor?
A. Julius Cheeser.

Q. How did the mouse feel after taking a shower?
A. Squeaky clean.

Q. Why do rats come after bats?
A. That's just how the dictionary works.

Q. Why didn't the cheese want to be sliced?
A. It had grater plans.

Q. When should you go on a cheese diet?
A. When you need to cheddar few pounds!

Q. How are mosquitoes just like cheesy puns?
A. Both are very annoying and the worst ones really bite!

I'm glad the cheese stands alone. It's easier to find that way.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied everyones laces together?
A. They all went on a class trip! (Ouch!)

Teacher: "If chicken gives you lean meat and a pig gives you bacon, what does a fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework."

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | Hair Humor | Fashion Puns | Shoe Jokes | Hipster Humor | Light Bulb Jokes |
| Travel Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Time Travel | Pirate Jokes | Cop | Lawyer | Money Puns |


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miserable jokes and painful puns to sternly make your dominatrix smile:

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Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners! Monstrously Funny Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs

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