Q. Why don't single women fart? A. Because they don't have ass holes until they're married!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. What is a great name for a therapist? A. Ophelia Paine!
Did you hear about the self-help book about giving vehement rants? It teaches all the tricks of the tirade!
Groaner: A Book Just Fell On My Head. I've Only Got My Shelf To Blame.
Q. How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. Assholes never see the light anyway!

 


Groaner Puns, Yuks Yikes, and Groans – Egads!
Groan along with painful jokes, stinging funny humor, and silly puns that really do bite!

Painful Groaner Jokes, Yowza Humor, Ouch!
(Because Surly Jokes, Irascible Humor, Cantankerous Quips and Prickly Puns Could Never Be Too Mainstream)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Short groaner jokes, one-liner humor that hurts, and painful puns ahead.
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | Hair Humor | Fashion Puns | Shoe Jokes | Hipster Humor | Light Bulb Jokes |
| Travel Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Time Travel | Pirate Jokes | Cop | Lawyer | Money Puns |


I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.Groaner: A psychiatrist on a hike fell into a deep depression...Four fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get out. We don't want your type in here."

Hulk urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

I have a funny pun about gasoline, but fuel you get it.

I heard a diesel joke the other day, and it really pumped me up.

Q. Why couldn't the guy stop telling groaner jokes before he crashed?
A. Brake failure.

That must be why the psychiatrist can't shrink the bill?

Q. Why is psychotherapy a lot faster for a man than for a woman?
A. Because when it's time for a man to go back to childhood, he's already there!

I must not have Bipolar Disease. It's gotta be Down's Syndrome because I can handle the ups, but not the downs!

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.

It's no coincidence that beer rhymes with cheer.

Our house has an open door policy. Bring beer, and we'll open the door.

I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!

Vitamin B. Oh, you mean Beer?

Two chemists walk into a bar. First one says: "I'll have H2O." Second one says: "I'll have H2O, too." He died.Groaner: Whe Two Egotists Meet, It's An I For An I.Doctors tried to save him with an I.V. but, their efforts were all in vein.

Q. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfer, sodium and phosphorous walked into the bar?
A. OH SNaP!

Q. Does anybody know any jokes about sodium?
A. Na.

Q. Which TV show do cesium and iodine love watching together?
A. CSI.

She thinks she's a siren, but she looks more like a false alarm.

Q. What's the definition of an egotist?
A. A person who is me-deep in conversation.

No wonder he suffers from migraines. His halo is on too tight.

Q. Why did the egotist join the navy?
A. So the world could see him.

I don't find doctor puns funny now that I have an irony deficiency.

Q. How is a hospital gown like health insurance?
A. You're never covered as much as you think you are! OUCH!

Poor guy was in the hospital with 60% burns. Doc says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Doc replies, "No, but it will keep the sheets off his legs!" OUCH!

Groaner Pick-Up Line: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together!Past, Present & Future Walked Into a Bar. It Was Tense!What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? Iceberg

Q. Why is B so cool?
A. Because it's sitting in the AC.

Q. Which letter is always surprised?
A. G!

Q. Which two letters do you say when you answer the phone?
A. LO!

Q. Which eight-letter word only has one letter in it?
A. Envelope.

A man walks into a bar. OUCH! You would have thought he would have seen it!

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked.

An amnesiac walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do I come here often?"

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

Q. What is the difference between a salad and a baby?
A. Nobody gets hurt when you toss a salad.

Nobody likes bland salad. That's a problem that needs a-dressing.

Q. What does a guy with clogged arteries say about the first course?
A. Salad? That's what my food eats...

If you wear cowboy boots and western wear, are you ranch dressing?

Painful Pick-Up Line: Stop undressing me with your eyes; use your teeth instead!Zombie Humor: If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossed?Groaner Pick-Up Line: Did you get your license suspended for driving men crazy?

Sometimes pick up lines go bad, but sometimes they just really bite. 4 out of 5 dentists like this pick up line!

I had a date with a dentist last night. At the end of the date, she said she had a great time and wants to see me again in six months. OUCH!

Q. How are vampires and false teeth alike?
A. They only come out at night!

That's what the bill collector wants you to think, anyway. Groan!

Q. What does it take to become a great zombie comedian?
A. Dead-ication!

Q. Why aren't zombies very funny?
A. Most zombies won't eat clowns.

Is it true that people who enjoy zombie movies are dead inside?

Biker Pick Up Line: Gnome doubt, his lame pick up lines are driving her mad or wild. We'll gnever gnow...

Q. What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A. A Yamahahaha!

Q. What's the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?
A. The position of the dirt bag!

| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| Blonde Jokes | Hair Humor | Fashion Puns | Shoe Jokes | Hipster Humor | Light Bulb Jokes |
| Travel Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Time Travel | Pirate Jokes | Cop | Lawyer | Money Puns |


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Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners! Monstrously Funny Puns Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
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