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Clever Puns That Really Smart. Ouch!
Smart science puns, brainy humor, and smart jokes that make you think to laugh!

Science Jokes, Nerdy Humor, Smart Puns
(Because Intelligent Humor, Genius Jokes, and Smart Ass Puns Are NOT Mainstream Enough)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Jokes that smart and cross-eyed puns ahead.
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much a beer is. Bartender says, "For you, no charge."Lost my library card, but I'm still checking you out!99% of cross-eyed teachers have trouble controlling their pupils.

An anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the clean fog?"

Q. According to physicists, why is the world so diverse?
A. Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Catalog this cheesy pick up pun under "Gnonsense."

A Book Never Written:
Hypnotism by N. Tranced

Q. Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A. Because they're all in HIGH School!

Q. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A. To reach the high notes.

Are you a 90 angle? 'Cause you're looking so right!Past, Present & Future Walked Into a Bar. It Was Tense!Hey Gnirl, are you a carbon sample? 'Cause I want to date you!

Are you a dyslexic angel, 'cause you looking la-right to me.

A Book Never Written:
Picnicing by Alf Rescoe

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

A Book Never Written:
Pub Crawl by Carey Meholm

Dr. Gnome Pick Up Line: Gnirl is just a fig-ment of his imagination?

A Book Never Written:
Outgoing Personality by Greg R. Iuss

The med student worried about passing as a surgeon, but did make the cut.Dead Languages Are Already EncryptedDid you hear about the bones recently found on the moon? It seems the cow did not make it.

And now as an intern, the young doc keeps them all in stitches.

A Book Never Written:
Bacteria by Mike Robes

An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

A Book Never Written:
Haunted House by Hugo Furst

Q. How did the cow get to the moo-on?
A. She launched into udder space!

Q. Which astronaut wears the biggest helmet?
A. The one with the biggest head.

Past Travels: Gnome Mystery. *Footnote in historyDid you hear about the lost sausage? It was the missing link.Hey Gnirl, your bosons give me a HADRON!

One is the loneliest gnumber that he'll ever gnome.

A Book Never Written:
Your Future by Claire Voyance

Did investigators finally meat their match?

Did you hear researchers finally found the gene for shyness? They would have found it sooner, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

Dr. Gnome pick up lines are particularly fascinating to scientists at CERN.

The Heineken Uncertainty Principal states, "You can never be sure how many beers you had last night."

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