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Brainy
Jokes, Clever Puns, Literate Humor
Fire
up brainy jokes, smart humor, and clever nerd-worthy puns that make you
think to laugh.
Smart
Humor, Nerdy Puns, Funny Science Jokes
(Because Dynamic Puns, Kinetic
Jokes, and Energetic Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream
in Your Dreams!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Mindful Caution! Jokes that smart, mind-bending
humor, and cross-eyed puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8
| 9 | Brainiac
Puns | Brain Jokes | 2
|
| School Jokes, Student Puns | Teacher
Jokes | Author Jokes | Poetry
Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Book Title Puns | Librarian
Jokes, Library Humor | Grammar
Jokes | Letter Puns |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology
Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geology
Jokes | Engineer Jokes |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Humor
| Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry
Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather
| Eco Jokes | Moon
Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars
Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor,
Cosmolgy Puns | Sun Puns
| Ancient Astronaut Jokes |
Q.
Why don't physicists and Bingo players get along?
A. They disagree on the application and existence of a free
space.
Ironic
Physics Point to Ponder: Why is being a physicist still
considered uncool, when thermodynamic entropy is getting
cooler all the time?
Q.
What did the physicist say when he saw a guy who was about
to jump off of a skyscraper?
A. Don't you it! You have so much potential. |
Q.
Why was the junior librarian reincarnated as a bookmark?
A. 'Cause he always knew his place.
Q.
Where does the librarian nap during her break?
A. Between the covers.
Q.
Why did the librarian join the police force?
A. 'Cause he wanted to work under cover.
Q.
Why didn't the burglar break into the library?
A. He was afraid if he got caught, he'd get a really long
sentence.
|
Q.
Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A. Because they're all in HIGH School!
Q.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A. To reach the high notes.
Q.
Why did the teacher send the chicken to the principal's
office?
A. For using fowl language.
Teacher:
I've had to send you to the principal's office every day
this week. What do you have to say about that?
Student: I am so glad it's finally Friday. |
Q.
Why does a right triangle run the air conditioner so much?
A. Because it's always 90º!
Q.
What did the math circle say to te rectangle?
A. Dude, you're such a square!
Q.
What does a math geek call an empty parrot cage?
A. Polygon.
Q.
Where do math teachers celebrate on New Year's Eve?
A. Times Square. |
A
book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please,
no stories!"
Q.
Why don't they ever serve beer at a math geek party?
A. 'Cause you can't drink and derive.
Q.
Which famous physicist only drank one beer?
A. Einstein.
Q.
How did the nuclear physicist mix cocktails at his party?
A. He used a pina collider.
|
Chem
Lab Gossip of the Day: Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium
got together? OMg!
Q.
Why did the chemist concoct a laughing gas that also works
as a laxative?
A. Just for shits and grins!
Q.
What did the scientist say when he found two helium isotopes?
A. HeHe.
Q.
What does a chemist's laboratory retriever do with his bones?
A. Barium. |
And
now as an intern, the young doc keeps them all in stitches.
Q.
Why do scientists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical
elements?
A. 'Cause if you can't helium or curium,
you barium.
Q.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A. The Nucleus. |
Author
Point to Ponder: If the pen is mightier than the sword,
why do actions speak louder than words?
An
anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why
the clean fog?"
An
optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half
empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to
be.
|
Q.
How did the cow get to the moo-on?
A. She launched into udder space!
Q.
Why wouldn't the moon go to the sun's funeral?
A. Because it's not a mourning person.
Q.
What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of
the moon?
A. The apocaclipse. |
Q.
Why is history the sweetest school subject?
A. Because it's full of dates.
Teacher:
Why was the era prior to the Medieval period called the
Dark Ages?
Student: Because there were so many knights?
Q.
Why did the Romanian guy stop reading for the day?
A. To give his Bucharest.
Literate
Tip of the Day: Never judge a book by it's movie. |
Did
investigators finally meat their match?
Q.
What is a caterpillar's favorite subject in school?
A. Moth-ematics.
Q.
How do bees get to class?
A. They take the school buzz!
Q.
How does a fish get to school?
A. It takes the octobus!
Q.
What did the snake study in school?
A. Hiss-tory.
Q.
How do cows do arithmetic?
A. They add one to an udder.
|
The
Heineken Uncertainty Principal states, "You can never
be sure how many beers you had last night."
Q.
What kind of breasts did the blonde physicist have?
A. QuanTitties.
Q.
Why do quantum physicists have the best sex?
A. 'Cause they know all the super positions.
Q.
What did American physicists say to the US government after
German scientists discovered how to split the atom?
A. Don't worry. There's other fission DC. |
|
Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8
| 9 | Brainiac
Puns | Brain Jokes | 2
|
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom
Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor
Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library
Humor | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Poetry Jokes |
Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns,
Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes
and Library Humor |
| Grammar Jokes, Punctuation Humor
| Letter of the Alphabet Puns |
Eco Environmetal Jokes |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology
Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geology
Jokes | Engineer Jokes |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns
| 2 | Science
Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes
| Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather
| 2 | 3
| 4 | Moon
Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars
Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | Sun
Puns | Ancient Astronaut Jokes
|
You got it this far,
so here's more mind-bending
humor, intelligent laughter,
brainiac jokes, and genius
painful puns that'll satisfy your inner
nerd:
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Ass Pick-Up Lines |
| Mind-Bending Painful Puns |
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Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes
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| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy
Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d
Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes
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