Q. How do you know when the moon is going broke? A. When it's down to its last quarter.   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Clever jokes, smart humor, and nerdy science jokes that literally add up to laughs!

Brainy Humor, Science Puns, Smart Jokes
(Because Intelligent Humor, Genius Jokes, and Smart Puns Are NOT Mainstream Enough)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. This is a smart ass LOL accelerated course.
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A photon checked into a hotel, but didn't need a bellman because it was traveling light.Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are a real Cu-Te!Two chemists walk into a bar. First one says: "I'll have H2O." Second one says: "I'll have H2O, too." He died.

Q. What does a subatomic duck say?
A. Quark!

Q. What do you get when you combine sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

Dr. Gnome Pick Up Line: Lucky girl gnome doesn't realize troll scientists didn't get the memo, too.

Q. Why don't they serve beer at a math party?
A. Because you shouldn't drink and derive.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Q. How did Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
A. Romeostasis.

Did you return your books late? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you!Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Food is out of this world, but there's no atmosphere.Gnirl, if you were a triangle, you'd be acute one!

Smart Pick-Up Line: Literate gnome puns still aren't too smart, but funny! Ouch!

A Book Never Written:
Adventageous by Ben E. Fishall

Finally, cattle mutilations explained:
Q. Why did the alien throw beef at an asteroid?
A. He wanted a little meaty-or.

Sharp pick-up lines help you get an angle on the daeing scene.

Dear Math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems!

How do spacemen add more protien to their diet? They make it meteor. Hey Gnirl, I'm attracted to you! According to the law of gravity, you're attracted to me, too!What did a blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read!"

Q. What do aliens serve their food on?
A. Flying saucers.

A Book Never Written:
Amphibians by Newt and Sally Mandar

Dr. Gnome pick-up lines sometimes have some pull, even if that's illogical.

Q. Which doctor is least seen by his patients?
A. The Ophthalmologist!

A Grate Book Never Written:
Suspense by Cliff Hanger

A Book Never Written:
Art and Culture by Phyllis Steen

Author Un GnomeQ. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.Gnirl, your brain turns me on 'cause you're as sharp as cheddar!

Sprite tell-all dishes up dirt about elves and pixies.

A Book Never Written:
Looking Younger by Fay S. Lift

Scientists just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it sooner, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

Guy heard her cousins' names are Bologna and Cheese. Brains?

A Book Never Written:
Odds and Ends by Miss Elaine Ehous

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