Did you hear about the bones recently found on the moon? It seems the cow did not make it.   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Clever science puns, smart humor, and brainy nerd jokes that are literally funny!

Brainy Jokes, Nerdy Humor, Smart Jokes
(Because Intelligent Humor, Genius Jokes, and Smart Puns Are NOT Mainstream Enough)
Warning: Proceed at your own risk. This is a smart ass LOL accelerated course.
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99% of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.Gnome Entering a Black Hole!Two hydrogen atomes met. 1st: "I've lost my electron." 2nd: "Are you sure?" 1st: "Yes, I'm Positive!"

Q. What would happen if you took the school bus home?
A. The police would make you bring it back!

Ok, the vortex and the tornado didn't faze the gnome... OOPS!

A Book Never Written:
Spring Showers by April Raine

Q. What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

How Does a Man on the Moon Get His Hair Cut? Eclipse It.Gnome ____ in a Black Hole!Old laser physicists never die. They just become incoherent.

Q. What do you call a clock on the moon?
A. A lunar-tick.

Q. Which dance do all astronauts know?
A. The Moonwalk!

Q. Why didn't the sun go to college?
A. It already has a million degrees!

Discovery of the Century depicted on the cover of TIME.

Q. Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?
A. When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position; when he found the position, he couldn't muster the momentum.

Q.What is a physicist's favorite food?
A. Fission chips.

Physics quote of the day: Anything that doesn't matter has no mass!

Q. What do physicists enjoy doing during favorite sports events?
A. The Wave!

Troll Poetry... Un Gnome PassageFour fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get out. We don't want your type in here."How do astronomers organize a party? They Planet

Trolls are poets and they gno it.

A Book Never Written:
Horrendous by Tara Buell

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar. (This joke smarts, in a painful sort of way.)

Q. What is a proof?
A. One-half percent alcohol.

Q. What do moon people do when they get married?
A. They go off on their honey-earth.

A Book Never Written:
Beguiled by N. Tyce Ing

When the doctor asked an editor how he was doing, he said there was a problem with circulation.You're like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life!Hulk Humor: My Zipper Broke, But I Fixed It on the Fly!

Psychiatrist to patient: "Don't worry. You're not deluded. You only think you are."

A Book Never Written:
Punctuality by Justin Thyme

Q. Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
A. Because he swept her off her feet!

Q. Which word in the dictionary is a lot longer than it looks?
A. Rubberband – because it stretches!

Now, that IS really smart! Just think how scary that jolly green alternative would be!

A Book Never Written:
Antibiotics by Penny Syllan

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