Q. Why don't Denverites drink Flat Tire beer?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?

Hellish Travel Point to Ponder: The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and a Stairway to Heaven says alot about the anticipated traffic.

A satanist, a demon, and the devil walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Get the hell outta here!"

Colorado Point to Ponder: Is the difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?

Q. What do you call a mint employee who sky dives on the weekends?
A. Penny from heaven.

Q. What did the perfume company call their new fragrance that captures the very aroma of paradise?
A. Heaven Scent.

Snowy Colorado Come-On: Hey girl, does this ski lift go to heaven? 'Cause I am seeing an angel.

Q. Which desset is the most heavenly?
A. Angel food cake.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who runs a bawdy house? He sold his soul to Santa!

When a lawyer was coming out of anesthesia after surgery, he asked, "Why are all the drapes drawn?" The doctor replied, "There's a fire across the street, so we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

Fun Colorado Facr of the Day: Telluride got its name 'cause it was To Hell You Ride. Just ask Butch Cassidy..

St. Peter was puzzled about the new arrival to Heaven and asked the the guy how he got up there. The man replied, "Flu."

Did you hear about the nurse that died and went to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work anymore.

Q. Why should you shave you head before committing an evil act?
A. If you're going to sin, you might as well sin baldly.

Q. Who wrote the really hot new book, I'm The Devil's Favorite?
A. Lucy Fir.

An angel walks into a bar hoping to meet someone heavenly.

Q. How did the religious food critic describe manna from above?
A. It's Heavenly!

Q. What might open the gates to Heaven?
A. Whis-Key.

A drunken man gets on a bus, staggers down the aisle, and sits next to an old lady. She looks at him and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell." The drunk jumps up and screams, "Whoa, I'm on the wrong bus!"

Q. What happened to the bad-to-the-bone biker who found himself cruising down the road to Hell?
A. After he drove over the pothole to Hell, he had to call roadside assistance from Hell. OUCH!

Q. Why do the Hell's Angels wear black?
A. Because there isn't anything darker.

Hot Biker Comedy Line of the Day: No I'm not a Hell's Angel, but I am punny as hell.

Q. Why are mountains the most fun place for devilish BMX bike stunt riders?
A. Because they're hell areas!

Hellacious Investment Point to Ponder: If money is the root of all evil, then why do they ask for it in church?

Religion Laugh of the Day: Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.

Q. Where do you go for a nightmare vacation?
A. The River Styx.

Scary Wise Words of the Day: When one door closes and another one opens, your house is definitely haunted. So, run like hell!

Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.

Snowy Colorado Come-On: Hey girl, I must be on the wrong chair lift. I didn't mean to go straight to heaven with you.

Q. What is the most heavenlly dish served at the Italian restaurant?
A. Angel hair pasta.

Funny As Hell VD Day Pick-Up Line: Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers.

Q. Where do religious people, who have eaten too many Big Macs, go in the afterlife?
A. Burger-tory.

Haunting Fact of the Day: Demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Q. Where do demons and ghouls go white water rafting?
A. The River Styx.

Q. What do demented demon spirits sing on Friday the 13th?
A. Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow.

Q. Why didn't the Little Drummer Boy get through the pearly gates?
A. He woke the baby, for Christ's sake!

Q. What does the Devil call a musican who betrays fellow musicians?
A. An orchestraitor.

Q. Which band focused on serial killers, Satanism, and hell but sang about vampires on At Dawn They Sleep?
A. Slayer.

Q. What is a monster's favorite refreshing Halloween party beverage?
A. Demon-ade.

Q. What did the religious fireman say when his crew arrived at the blaze at the church?
A. Oh Hell!

Q. Where did beavers build the biggest damn?
A. The River Styx.

Q. Why did Satan visit his eye doctor?
A. Because the jokes were cornea than Hell!

Q. Where do hail stones go on a date?
A. To Hell!

Q. Why do monsters like these jokes?
A. Because being evil is devilishly hard work.

Q. How can you be sure that there are cows in heaven?
A. Well, heaven is a place of udder delight.

Q. What does the ristorante chef call his sinfully good pasta dish?
A. Penne from Heaven.

Q. Which hellishly delicious chocolate dessert is the curse of dieters?
A. Devil's Food Cake.

Q. What did one dust devil brag to another dust devil?
A. I'm not just blowing a lot of hot air!

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