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Heaven
Jokes, Angelic Humor, Pearly Gates Puns
Step
up or go down to hellish puns, heavenly laughter, hot as Hades humor and
demonic jokes.
Hell Jokes, Evil Puns, Demon LOLs, Devilish Grins
(Because Devil's Food Jokes
and Fallen Angel Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!
If You're Waiting In Limbo) |
Warning:
Proceed with Piety! Purgatory jokes, River Styx humor, St. Peter
LOLs, good laughs and bad puns ahead.
| Hell Jokes and Heavenly Humor
| OMG! Religion Jokes | Beer
vs Religion LOLs | Psychic Puns |
| Church Jokes, Preacher Puns, Protestant
Humor | Catholic Jokes, Nun
Puns, and Priest Humor |
| Lit Horoscope Humor | Travel
Jokes | Time Traveler Jokes | Ancient
Astronaut Theory Jokes |
Q.
Why don't Denverites drink Flat Tire beer?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?
Hellish
Travel Point to Ponder: The fact that there's a Highway
to Hell and a Stairway to Heaven says alot
about the anticipated traffic.
A
satanist, a demon, and the devil walk into a bar. Bartender
says, "Get the hell outta here!"
Colorado
Point to Ponder: Is the difference between hill
and hell is just a fine line? |
Q.
What do you call a mint employee who sky dives on the weekends?
A. Penny from heaven.
Q.
What did the perfume company call their new fragrance that
captures the very aroma of paradise?
A. Heaven Scent.
Snowy
Colorado Come-On: Hey girl, does this ski lift go to heaven?
'Cause I am seeing an angel.
Q.
Which desset is the most heavenly?
A. Angel food cake.
|
Did
you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who runs a
bawdy house? He sold his soul to Santa!
When
a lawyer was coming out of anesthesia after surgery, he
asked, "Why are all the drapes drawn?" The doctor replied,
"There's a fire across the street, so we didn't want you
to think the operation was a failure."
Fun
Colorado Facr of the Day: Telluride got its name 'cause
it was To Hell You Ride. Just ask Butch Cassidy.. |
St.
Peter was puzzled about the new arrival to Heaven and asked
the the guy how he got up there. The man replied, "Flu."
Did
you hear about the nurse that died and went to hell? It
took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work anymore.
Q.
Why should you shave you head before committing an evil
act?
A. If you're going to sin, you might as well sin baldly.
Q.
Who wrote the really hot new book, I'm The
Devil's Favorite?
A. Lucy Fir. |
An
angel walks into a bar hoping to meet someone heavenly.
Q.
How did the religious food critic describe manna from above?
A. It's Heavenly!
Q.
What might open the gates to Heaven?
A. Whis-Key.
A
drunken man gets on a bus, staggers down the aisle, and
sits next to an old lady. She looks at him and says, "I've
got news for you. You're going straight to hell." The drunk
jumps up and screams, "Whoa, I'm on the wrong bus!"
|
Q.
What happened to the bad-to-the-bone biker who found himself
cruising down the road to Hell?
A. After he drove over the pothole to Hell, he had to call
roadside assistance from Hell. OUCH!
Q.
Why do the Hell's Angels wear black?
A. Because there isn't anything darker.
Hot
Biker Comedy Line of the Day: No I'm not a Hell's Angel,
but I am punny as hell.
Q.
Why are mountains the most fun place for devilish BMX bike
stunt riders?
A. Because they're hell areas! |
Hellacious
Investment Point to Ponder: If money is the root of all
evil, then why do they ask for it in church?
Religion
Laugh of the Day: Heck is where people go who don't
believe in Gosh.
Q.
Where do you go for a nightmare vacation?
A. The River Styx.
Scary
Wise Words of the Day: When one door closes and another
one opens, your house is definitely haunted. So, run like
hell! |
Q.
What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.
Snowy
Colorado Come-On: Hey girl, I must be on the wrong chair
lift. I didn't mean to go straight to heaven with you.
Q.
What is the most heavenlly dish served at the Italian restaurant?
A. Angel hair pasta.
Funny
As Hell VD Day Pick-Up Line: Are you an angel? 'Cause you're
the answer to all my prayers. |
Q.
Where do religious people, who have eaten too many Big Macs,
go in the afterlife?
A. Burger-tory.
Haunting
Fact of the Day: Demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Q.
Where do demons and ghouls go white water rafting?
A. The River Styx.
Q.
What do demented demon spirits sing on Friday the 13th?
A. Voorhees a Jolly Good Fellow. |
Q.
Why didn't the Little Drummer Boy get through the pearly
gates?
A. He woke the baby, for Christ's sake!
Q.
What does the Devil call a musican who betrays fellow musicians?
A. An orchestraitor.
Q.
Which band focused on serial killers, Satanism, and hell
but sang about vampires on At Dawn They Sleep?
A. Slayer.
Q.
What is a monster's favorite refreshing Halloween party
beverage?
A. Demon-ade. |
Q.
What did the religious fireman say when his crew arrived
at the blaze at the church?
A. Oh Hell!
Q.
Where did beavers build the biggest damn?
A. The River Styx.
Q.
Why did Satan visit his eye doctor?
A. Because the jokes were cornea than Hell!
Q.
Where do hail stones go on a date?
A. To Hell!
Q.
Why do monsters like these jokes?
A. Because being evil is devilishly hard work.
|
Q.
How can you be sure that there are cows in heaven?
A. Well, heaven is a place of udder delight.
Q.
What does the ristorante chef call his sinfully good pasta
dish?
A. Penne from Heaven.
Q.
Which hellishly delicious chocolate dessert is the curse
of dieters?
A. Devil's Food Cake.
Q.
What did one dust devil brag to another dust devil?
A. I'm not just blowing a lot of hot air! |
|
Hell Jokes and Heavenly Humor |
OMG! Religion Jokes | Beer
vs Religion LOLs | Psychic Puns |
| Church Jokes, Preacher Puns, Protestant
Humor | Catholic Jokes, Nun
Puns, and Priest Humor |
| Lit Horoscope Humor | Travel
Jokes | Time Traveler Jokes | Ancient
Astronaut Theory Jokes |
| Fashion Jokes | Shoe
Groans | Underwear Jokes |
Furniture Jokes | Clean
Jokes | Smelly Puns |
| Music Jokes | Hot
Jokes | Cold Puns | Neighborhood
Humor | Colorful Jokes | Timely
Laughs |
| Wife Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Bad Hair Humor | Hipster
Humor | Shopping Puns | Salesman
Jokea |
| Criminal Jokes | Lawyer
LOLs | Judge Jokes | Politician
Puns | Clown Jokes | Cents-Less
Jokes |
| Groaner Jokes | Weekday
Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | Painful
Pirate Puns | Arr! |
Weather Puns |

You're
still up for hot
grins, so here's more heavenly
laughter, hellish humor,
devilish jokes and posessed
painful puns that won't leave you in limbo:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Alien Jokes | Bartender
Jokes | Blunt LOLs | Colorado
Jokes | Cow Jokes | Face
Puns | Fit LOLs | Fireman
Jokes |
| Gambling Jokes | Germ
Jokes | Haunted Humor | Man
Jokes | Money Jokes | Motorcycle
Jokes | River Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal
Humor | Skiing Laughs | Space
Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superman
Puns | Traffic Jokes |
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