Q. What do you call a hungry cardinal bird who's in your whey?
A. Curdinal.

Q. Which kind of backyard bird enjoys French cheese along with the seeds in its feeder?
A. The Bleu Jay.

Q. What is every backyard bird's favorite television show?
A. The feather forecast.

Q. Why did the bird lose all its feathers after the volcano eruption?
A. 'Cause it was molten.

Q. What do you call a crow standing in a corn field telling jokes?
A. Caw-median.

Q. What do you call an area inhabited soley by crows?
A. A caw-munity.

Q. Which Rocky Mountain state has the noisiest crows?
A. Caw-lorado.

Q. Why do crows like come-as-you-are parties?
A. 'Cause they're caws-ual gatherings.

Q. What happened when a magpie got into a house?
A. She caused a real flap.

Q. What kind of birds spend a lot of time on their knees?
A. Birds of Prey.

Q. What do birdwatchers call the elusive avian that only comes out in the darkness of a thick mist?
A. Murking Bird.

Q. What do you call the sassy bird that likes to roll around in the mud?
A. Mucking-bird.

Q. Why don't owls bother to read instruction manuals?
A. 'Cause they just prefer to wing it.

Great Horned Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, owl you doin'?

Q. What did the audience say about the standup owl comedian's act?
A. It was a real hoot.

Q. What happens when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A. You get a cock that stays up owl night long.

Q. How long did the owl's bachelor party go on at Hooters?
A. Owl night long.

Q. Which backyard bird really enjoys Colorado craft beer?
A. The Brew Jay

Q. What do you call a bumbling backyard bird?
A. Boob Jay.

Q. What do you call a backyard bird that got picked up by a tornado?
A. Blew Jay.

Q. What do you get if you cross a ghost with a blue backyard bird?
A. A Boo Jay.

Q. Which bird is prone to sadness, moping, and pouting?
A. A brood jay.

Q. Why is the eagle now a jailbird?
A. He was found guilty of talon bad jokes.

Q. What do you get if you cross a flyer roo with a Wedge-tailed eagle?
A. A dead kanga flew.

Q. What do you call a big raptor with an even larger ego?
A. Eagle I.

Q. What do you call the football coach who recruits hot new players for the Philadelpia Eagles?
A. A talon scout.

Q. What did the bald eagle say to taunt the old molting raven?
A. Hey, crow-m dome.

Q. Which Impressionist style artist painted sensual female songbirds?
A. Pierre-Auguste Wren-oir.

Q. Which era marked a rebirth of Classical learning and wisdom for avians?
A. The Wren-aissance Period.

Q. What were the busy garden songbirds doing to update their birdhouse?
A. Home wren-ovations.

Q. Which day of the week is the favorite of backyard songbirds?
A. Wren's Day.

Q. When did space aliens first try to contact intelligent avian life on Earth?
A. During the Wrendlesham Forest Incident in 1980.

Q. Where do migratory birds like to spend the night?
A. At a Nest Western Hotel.

Q. Which kind of acian prefers to live at the golf course?
A. The PARtridge.

Q. What is Tweetie Bird's favorite color?
A. Canary yellow.

Q. Which kind of wading bird is a big con artist in Miami?
A. The Flim-Flamingo.

Q. What do you call a big bird stool pigeon who tattles on others?
A. A Fink Flamingo.

Q. Which kind of bird spits mucus at its enemies?
A. Phlem-ingo.

Q. What do you call a deceased wading bird in Florida?
A. Flamingone.

Q. Which nocturnal avaian was convicted of murdering his bartender?
A. The Birdman of Owl-caw-traz. .

Q. What do avians say to each other on their favorite holiday?
A. Happy Bird Day!

Seasoned Birdwatcher Wisdom: Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until the birds have all gone south.

Q. Which hungry avian scavenger really enjoys Thanksgiving cinner?
A. The turkey vulture.

Two birds were watching a guy wash his car. One bird says to the other, "If he doesn't finish soon, I'll poop myself."

Q. Which backyard bird is the best poker player east of the Mississippi?
A. The CARDinal.

Q. Which North American bird spends all its leisure time playing tennis?
A. The court-inal.

Q. What do you get if you electrify a cardinal?
A. A cord-inal.

Q. What do you call a red cardinal bird that's been picking through the city dump?
A. Crudinal.

Q. Which rude red North American bird always gives the shortest responses?
A. The Curt-inal.

Q. Which backyard bird is the saddest cry baby of them all?
A. The boo hoo jay.

Q. Which clever backyard bird is actually an avian detective?
A. The clue jay.

Q. What do birdwatchers call an avian that doesn't try to fake them out?
A. True Jay.

Q. Which bird comes around to visit during late fall and winter?
A. The Flu Jay.

Q. Which blue avian left droppings on all the patio furniture?
A. Poo Jay.

Q. What do you call a big bird bath just for traveling crows?
A. A caw wash.

Q. What do ravens call their closest pals and companions?
A. Crownies.

Q. What is it called when a CROW is cut in half by a wind turbine?
A. OW!

Q. Why didn't the sassy crow think he'd be a suspect in the crime?
A. Because he always flew under the radar.

Q. Which big bird species is always ready to get it on?
A. The whoopie crane.

Q. Which migratory avian has the biggest bird brain capacity?
A. The crane-ium

. Q. Which migratory bird believes in s[amlomg amd capital punishment?
A. The whooping crane.

Q. What kind of business did the seabirds open near the Golden Gate Bridge?
A. A bay-gull shop.

Q. Why did the big black bird go to see a doctor?
A. 'Caws he felt really crow-my.

Q. Why do birdwatchers say that animal poop sexy?
A. Because the birds and the bees doo it.

Q. How does a crow with a broken wing fly around the area?
A. In a heli-caw-pter.

Q. What do birdwatchers call a hawk that can't fly?
A. A walk.

Q. Which kind of jungle bird is a real Negative Nellie?
A. The Toucan't.

Q. What is the name of the big-billed jungle bird with styled feathers on her head?
A. The Do-can.

Q. What do you call a jungle bird that wants to be including in everything?
A. Too-can.

Q. What do you call a big-billed jungle bird that has a bad case of diarrhea?
A. Poo-can.

Q. What is it called when a song bird gets a very long round of applause?
A. Wren ovations.

Q. Which songbird has the best voice?
A. The Chord-inal.

Q. Which grotesque literary character looked a bit like an extinct bird?
A. Quasi-Dodo.

Q. Why didn't the former jail bird think he'd be a suspect for the latest crime?
A. Because he already flew the coop.

Avian Point to Ponder: Are pigeons wealthy? 'Cause they have no problem making deposits on expensive cars.

Q. What happens when an urban bird is illegally parked?
A. Pigeon towed.

Q. What do you call a city bird that's not much to look at?
A. Homely pigeon.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pigeon with a warty amphibian?
A. Pigeon Toad.

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