Q. What is the biggest difference between a lion and a tiger?
A. A tiger is missing the mane part.

Q. What happened after the lion ate a commedian?
A. He felt funny.

Q. What is an African male lion's favorite USA state?
A. Maine.

Q. What do you call a group of homosexual lions?
A. Gay Pride.

Q. Why did the lioness kill the preacher?
A. 'Cause he told her she had to swallow her pride.

Q. What do you call a big cat in a boxing ring?
A. The punch lion.

Q. What is the worst thing about lion jokes?
A. You're bound to get that inane Lion King song stuck in your head. You know it's just a whim away...

Q. Why did the lion feel sick after he'd eaten a priest?
A. Because it's hard to keep a good man down.

Q. What did the first-century Roman Christian say after a lion killed his wife?
A. I'm gladiator.

Q. What did the lioness say to her cub who was chasing a hunter?
A. Son, don't play with your food.

Q. Why did the lion eat the preacher?
A. He wanted a taste of religion.

Q. Why shouldn't you ever do math with a lion?
A. 'Cause if you calculate 4+4, you're gonna get ate!

Q. What did it take for the lion to become a cannibal?
A. He had to swallow his pride.

Q. What do you get when you cross a lion with a Scottie dog?
A. A terrier-fied mail carrier.

Q. What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A. A tiger always tells the truth. The other one's a lion.

Q. What do you call the big cat that scaled Mt. Everest?
A. A Sher-Paw.

Q. What do you call a bad event involving lions, tigers, leopards and cheetahs?
A. A catastrophe!

Q. What do you get when you cross a jaguar with a wooly mammoth?
A. A fast car with a big trunk and shag carpeting.

Q. Why did the new designer line of Puma jeans fail?
A. Because they named them Puma Pants.

Q. What is a cougar's favorite kill?
A. A stag with a nice rack.

Q. What is it called when lions, tigers, and cheetahs escape from the zoo?
A. A BIG CATastrophe!

Q. How much do you need to know to be a lion trainer?
A. A clawful lot more than the lion does!

Q. What do you call a teen-aged big cat with acne?
A. The dotted lion.

Q. What do you call the Frenchman who was recently mauled by a lion?
A. Claude.

Q. How do you know you're a cheesy singer?
A. Your urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

Wildcat Hookup Line: Hey Kitty, wanna play lion? Okay, you just kneel right there, and I'll throw you my meat.

Q. How did the tiger do at his first day as a lion impersonator?
A. He was a roaring success.

Q. Why are tigers considered very religious felines?
A. They prey frequently, and they prey as a family.

Q. If a Bengal Tiger is attacking your wife and you mother-in-law, who do you save?
A. The Bengal Tiger 'cause they're an endangered species.

Q. How do yuo catch a one-of-a-kind tiger?
A. Unique up on it.

Q. How do you catch a docile tiger?
A. The tame way.

Q. Why couldn't the tired tiger get to sleep?
A. He had nothing to lion.

Q. Who are Tony the Tiger and Cap'n Crunch afraid of?
A. Cereal killers.

Big Cat Pick-Up Line: Is your daddy Tony, the Tiger? 'Cause you look grrreat!

Q. How can tigers just freely walk around without being spotted?
A. 'Cause they're striped.

Big Cat Groan of the Day: A zoo visitor jumped the barrier to feed the tigwr. Yup, feed them, he did!

Q. What do tigers sing at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...

Q. What do you get when you search Google for Canadian cats?
A. A whole bunch of lynx.

Q. Why was the Bob Cat in a bad mood?
A. Because he prefers to be called Robert.

Q. Which animal is the most popular on the Internet?
A. Lynx.

Q. How did the bob cat find his lost family members online?
A. He just followed the lynx.

Q. Why do wild cats like PainfulPuns.com?
A. They're here for the lynx!

Q. Are lynx an endangered species?
A. No, they're all over the Internet.

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey Kitty, an evening with me is like catnip 'cause I can make a cougar like you go wild.

Feline Fine Pick-Up Line: Hey Kit, they call me the cougar whisperer, 'cause I know exactly what a pussy needs.

Me-Wow! Police are investigating a feline corpse that was found in a Xerox machine. They're calling it a copy cat killing.

Wild Feline Pick-Up Line: Hey wild one, I'd like to domesticat you!

Wildcat Hookup Line: Hey girl, you wanna play lion tamer? Okay, you get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

Q. Who wrote the worst selling book, Noisy Wild Cats of Narnia ?
A. Rohr Ing Lyons.

Q. How many wild cats do you need for a square?
A. Four lions.

An arrogant elk walks up to a group of mountain lions and tells them how much better he is than they are. He was consumed by pride. OOPS!

Q. What is a lion's favorite kind of cheese?
A. Roarquefort.

Pick Up a Lion Cub Line: Meow.

Q. What do you get when you cross a leopard with a sheep?
A. A polka dot sweater.

Q. What did the puma say to the jaguar at the poker party?
A. I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.

Q. What do you call a cheetah running a Xerox machine?
A. A copy cat.

Q. Why did the spotted cat, who was counting card, lose at Black Jack?
A. 'Cause cheetahs never prosper!

Q. Which big cat should you never bet against?
A. A Cheetah!

Q. Why shouldn't you ever play poker in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs there.

Q. What happened after a lion and a tiger escaped the zoo with a jaguar?
A. They were captured five miles away when the Jaguar got a flat tire.

Q. What should you do if you walk up on a tiger and a jaguar?
A. Jump in the Jag, and drive away quick!

Q. What do you call a tiger that ate your mother's sister?
A. An aunt-eater.

Q. What happened after the tiger ate a clown?
A. He felt funny.

Wild Cat Point to Ponder: Why do we hear so much about the eye of the TIGER? What about the other four letters?

Q. What does a tiger call his reflection?
A. A copycat.

Q. What do you get when you cross a tiger with a parrot?
A. Who know? But, you'd better listen when it talks.

Q. What happened when a mad scientist transformed a tiger into a horse?
A. Don't worry. It's in stable condition.

Q. How does a she tiger introduce herself to the new neighbors?
A. Pleased to eat you!

Q. How does a tiger stop a video?
A. He just hits the paws button.

Q. What did the wild cat say when he was rushing to the restroom?
A. Get otta my way! I'm about to puma pants!

Q. Which journalist covered the story about the baby lions at the zoo?
A. The cub reporter.

Q. Why is it so hard for leopards to escape from the zoo?
A. Because they're always spotted.

Q. Why did the little leopard always lose at Hide 'N Go Seek?
A. 'Cause he was aloways spotted.

Q. What did the leopard at the zoo say after eating a hot dog?
A. Yum, that really hit the spot.

Q. What happens after a leopard takes a long shower?
A. He's spotless!

Q. Which side of a snow leopard has the most spots?
A. The outside.

Q. Why are black panthers so much stealthier than cheetahs and leopards?
A. Because they're never spotted.

Q. What do you call a lion cat that dresses in leopard print camouflage?
A. A big cheetah!

No Lion Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, you can trust me, 'cause I'm not a cheetah.

Q. Why shouldn't you golf in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs there.

Q. Why was the spotted cat disqualified from the Olympics?
A. He was a confirmed Cheetah.

Wild Cat Pun Fact of the Day: Once you've witnessed a lion take down a wildebeest, you've seen a maul.

Q. What do you call a young dishonest cat?
A. A lyin' cub.

Q. How do big lazy cats spend their spare time?
A. Just lion around!

Q. What do religious lions say while getting ready for dinner?
A. Let us prey.

Wildcat Hookup Line: Hey baby, wanna play lion? You can be the meat!

Q. What do you get when you cross a lion with an eagle?
A. A griffin.

Q. What is a one-eyed cougar called?
A. A Mountain L on.

Wildcat Hookup Line: Hey babe, are you from Narnia? 'Cause you sure make my lion roar.

Q. Why are Michigan residents big fans of The Lion King?
A. 'Cauee they get to see Lions winning for a change.

Q. Which kind of big cat chases camels across the dessert?
A. The cameleon.

Q. What did the lion in the closet say to the inquisitive white witch?
A. It's Narnia business..

A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Get out. I ain't serving Narnia."

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