Q. Oxygen had a second date with potassium. How did it go?
A. It went OK2!

Q. Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A. They're cheaper than day rates.

Q. Why should you never ask a chemist for a PB and J sandwich?
A. 'Cause you'll get lead poisoning.

Q. What does a chemist use to judge whether a party is any good?
A. Lithmus paper.

Dr. Gnome positively knows the formula for love.

Q. Why did the robotics scientist and geneticist refuse to hang out with the archaeologist?
A. 'Cause he ascribes to Ancient Alien Theory.

Q. Which instrument did the chemist play in the band?
A. Base guitar.

Q. What did the amputee chemist say when he attached his new leg?
A. Neon.

Q. What happens when you read a physics book about a singularity?
A. It really sucks you in...

Q. What happens while you're reading Stephen Hawking's last book about black holes?
A. You totally get drawn in.

Q. How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None! They're trying to study dark matter, and dark energy fascinates them!

Q. Why do chemistry students learn about ammonia first?
A. 'Cause it's pretty basic stuff.

Elemental Point to Ponder: If you just don't understand chemistry puns, are you a boron?

Q. What did the chemist say when a nosy coworker asked too many personal questions?
A. None of your Bismuth!

Q. Which day of the week do naked streakers look forward to?
A. MoonDay.

Q. What do aliens call weird technical bugs that occur on the moon?
A. Luna Ticks!

Q. Why is the moon more useful than the sun?
A. 'Cause we really need the light at night!

Q. What happened after a kid was given a really cheap dictionary?
A. He could not find the words to say thank you.

Q. What does an author do if his dog starts eating his manuscript?
A. He takes the words right out of his mouth!

Literate Point to Ponder: If you don't know what the word, dictionary means, how would you look that up?

If the clone has no hair, does that make it a wool-free sheep's cloning?

Did you hear about the cannibal scientist who perfected the techinique for cloning? Now, he's full of himself!

Did you see Venus and Jupiter this morning? It's great when the strip club opens early!

Did you hear about the duel participant who only showed up with a pencil and paper? He proceeded to draw his weapon...

Q. Which tables don't math students need to study?
A. Dinner tables.

Q. What do math teachers eat for dinner?
A. Square meals.

Q. Do you know a statistics joke?
A. Yes, but it's mean.

Q. Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A. Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Q. What is a sleeping brain's favorite band?
A. REM.

Literate Pick-Up Line: Hey smartie, you must be a librarian, 'cause you just increased my circulation.

Q. Who authored the new book, How I Deal With Stress?
A. Val E. Yum.

Q. Why was the chronic LSD user fired from his job at the chemistry lab?
A. 'Cause he kept dropping acid.

When Dr. Gnome shares pick-up lines for meteorologists, weathermen and prognosticators, the forecast is always funny!

Q. Scientifically speaking, what is the longest way to spell water?
A. HIJKLMNO. (H2O)!

A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
"What do we want?"
"Time travel."
"When do we want it?"
"Irrelevant."

Medical Journal Point to Ponder: Isn't it fitting that the podiatry paper uses footnotes, while the proctology article uses endnotes?

Q. Did you hear about the circumcision doctor?
A. Oops! He slipped and got the sack. Ouch!

Doctor: What is the condition of the boy who swallowed the quarter?
Nurse: No change yet.

Q. Why do influencers always carry a pencil?
A. To draw attention.

Did you hear that scientists have successfully grown a full set of vocal chords in the lab? The results speak for themself.

Q. What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A. Smiles. Because there's a mile between the two Ss.

Literary Point to Ponder: If a picture is worth a thousand words, why shouldn't you judge a book by its cover?

Writing Fact of the Day: A pencil is not prone to making Freudian slips, but a pen is.

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