Q. What's the difference between a boring person and a boring book?
A. You can shut the boring book up.

Q. What might you expect from a bookcase that isn't very well made?
A. A short shelf life.

Q. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A. Book worms.

Have you heard about the new book all about the history of Teflon? It features only non-frictional characters.

Q. Who wrote the best seller that can't be found on the shelves, titled:
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow ?
A. I. M. Balding.

Q. What does a novel do during the winter months?
A. It puts on a book jacket.

Q. Who wrote the new fitness book, Weight for Me?
A. Jim Naysium.

Q. Who wrote the runaway best seller about Truancy?
A. Marcus Abs-Ent.

Q. What do you call a book about Henry Ford and his car company?
A. An auto biography.

Q. Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?
A. So he nose where he stopped reading.

Q. Why are first books so afraid of their sequels?
A. 'Cause they always come after them...

Q. Why did the Romanian guy stop reading for the day?
A. To give his Bucharest.

Q. Why was the book of incantations useless?
A. 'Cause the author failed to do a spell check.

Q. Which author wrote the new tell-all book, Forthright Tonight?
A. Franc O. Pinion.

Q. Who did not write last year's hot best seller, My Fire is Gone?
A. Em Burr.

Q. Who wrote the cookbook, Green Chiie for Gringos?
A. Anna Hyme.

Q. Who wrote the diet book, Artificial Weightlessness, before Oprah Winfrey could capitalize on the title?
A. Ann D. Gravity.

Q. What happens when you read Stephen Hawking's last book about black holes?
A. You totally get drawn in.

Literary Thought in the Air: A chemist was reading a book about helium. He just couldn't put it down.

Q. What do you call a religious book of devotions that levitates like magic?
A. A surface-to-air missal.

Q. Who authored the unsuccessful tech guide, Digitals Don'ts for Dumbasses?
A. Anne A. Logg.

Q. What happens when you read a physics book about a singularity?
A. It really sucks you in...

Q. Why didn't we ever hear about the book titled Current Trends in Wiring Your Home?
A. It turned out to be a shocking failure.

Q. Which Colorado author wrote The Stoners Guide to Geology?
A. Roxanne Mini Railz.

Q. Why was the new book about teleportation a best seller?
A. 'Cause it's bound to get you somewhere.

Q. What happened when the guy started reading a book about designing corn mazes?
A. He got lost in it.

Q. Why didn't the neurotic guy buy the book about phobias?
A. He was afraid it wouldn't help...

Q. What is an author's choice alcoholic beverage when writing the first version of a new book?
A. Draft beer!

Q. Who wrote the romance novel,
My Magnificiant Motives?
A. Wanda F. Uhl.

Q. Which author was destined to write the new novel, Plunging Necklines?
A. C. Mour Bust.

Q. Which tone-deaf music teacher wrote the book, Singin's Without Music?
A. Ackah Pella.

Q. What has a spine, but no bones?
A. A book, although some authors disagree.

Q. Which porn star wrote the hot best seller, Blushing Becomes You?
A. Rose E. Cheeks.

Q. Who wrote the book, Spicing Up a Dull Day?
A. Hal A. Penio.

Q. What do you call the first draft of a cookbook?
A. A menuscript.

Q. Who wrote the book, Red Hot Home Cooking?
A. Ann Cho.

Q. Who authored the stinging romance novel, Making Your Honey Even Sweeter?
A. B. Key Purr.

Q. Which popular novelist wrote the new book, Good Read, that's not about grammar?
A. Paige Turner.

Q. Which high-strung musician authored the new book, More of a Lute Than a Guitar?
A. Amand A. Lynn.

Q. Which new self-help book failed due to the response at book signings?
A. Another Breath of Fresh Air by Hal E. Towsis.

Q. Which old series of children's books is now known to be fake copies?
A. Spurious George.

Q. Which author wrote the tasty tell-all book, Dogg is Waiting for Dinner?
A. Sal O. Vading.

Q. Which office temp wrote the surprise best seller, My Worst Monday Ever?
A. Helen Bach.

Q. Which writer penned the perennial best-selling book, Suck You, Old Age?
A. Jerry Att-Rick.

Q. Why did one book ask the book next to it a question?
A. To see if they were both on the same page.

Q. Who did not write the definitive book about musical instruments?
A. Zyl A. Pfhone.

Q. Which author wrote the gory new best seller, Bullfighting Red Flags?
A. Matt O'Dor.

Q. Who wrote the scary tell-all, Haunted House Guests, about orgies at the Playboy mansion?
A. Hugh Gogh Furst.

Q. Which coroner wrote the gory new tell-all book, Showing My Guts?
A. N. Trey Ahlz.

Q. Which lawyer wrote the definitive book about mortuary mishaps titled: Lost Coffin?
A. Sue Ann Undertaker.

Q. Which Colorado author wrote the comedy best seller, Sore Joints?
A. A. A. King.

Q. Which magical chef wrote the new cookbook, Voila French Cooking?
A. Sue F. Lay.

Q. Which bounty hunter wrote the tell-all book, Bad Dawg's Dinner?
A. Norah Bonz.

Q. Which cowboy author wrote the book, Drinking Up the Old West?
A. Sal Oonz.

Q. Which accountant wrote the new mystery best seller, Suspense Makes Cents?
A. Cliff Hang Ehr.

Literary Point to Ponder: If a picture is worth a thousand words, why shouldn't you judge a book by its cover?

Q. Which unknown fashion designer covertly wrote the stylish best seller, Underware Problems?
A. Lou C. Lastic.

Q. Who wrote the book, I'm Rolling Down the Alley?
A. Beau Ling.

Q. When did the author plan to begin working on her newest book?
A. Write now!

Q. Which Peeping Tom is famous for his clever romance novel, French My Windows?
A. Pat T. O'Dors.

Q. Who did not write the book, Healthy Lunch Bites?
A. Chris P. Bacon.

Q. Which Tex-Mex chef wrote the hot new book, Cooking Up Spicy Meals?
A. Kai Anne Pepper.

Q. Who wrote the cyber book, A Robot's Life In the Future?
A. Art A. Ficial.

Q. Which writer penned the book,
Fade, Fading, Faded Away, before he ran out of ink?
A. Peter N. Outt.

Did you know Al Gore wrote a book about dentistry? Yeah, it's titled An Inconvenient Tooth.

Q. Who knew the new book, Your Future Ewe, would be a best seller?
A. Claire Voy-Ance.

Q. Which hipster author wrote the book,
Conducting Yourself on the Subway?
A. Myles S. Tanding.

Q. Which author wrote the eye-opening and revealing tell-all book titled, Voyeurism Today?
A. A. P. Pingtom.

Q. What warning is included in the monk's new book, Religious Poetry Writing for Dummies?
A. Psalm assembly required.

Q. Which author got tripped up while writing the book, Knot Tying Shoe Laces?
A. Ben Dover.

Q. Who wrote the blob-ular best seller,
Big Bacteria Bug Boston?
A. Hugh Mike Robes.

Q. What do you get if you throw a lot of books into the ocean?
A. A Title Wave!

Q. Who was the toughest guy in the book club?
A. Conan, the Librarian.

Q. Who wrote the unmoving new book,
Constipation Wastes My Time?
A. Anita Pugh.

Q. Which biker dude wrote the bumpy novel, Lost Off the Beaten Track?
A. Duhs T. Rhodes.

Q. Who wrote the new expose about Batman titled: Another Stand-Up Commedian?
A. Joe Carr.

Q. What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
A. I'll find space for your book.

High Seas Prose Point to Ponder: Does the book about the moon's effects on the world's oceans have a tidal page?

Q. Why didn't the guy finish reading the book about sinkholes?
A. 'Cause his plans fell through.

Have you heard about the new book about Mount Everest? It's a real cliffhanger...

Q. Which author cooked up the new book about time travel, Punctuality Lately?
A. Just N. Thyme.

Q. Which author wrote the new meteorology book, Cloudburst or Bust?
A. Wayne Droppz.

Q. Who wrote the captivating new romance thriller, My Last Big Crush?
A. Anna Khan Duh.

Q. Why did the book go to the hospital?
A. 'Cause it hurt its spine.

Q. Which old Denver hippie wrote the hot best seller, Stoned Age Me?
A. Neil Ithick.

Q. Which high I.Q. author wrote the new non-fiction book, Mindful Mensa Moments?
A. Jean E. Uss.

Q. Which Hollywood plastic surgeon wrote the new book, Eye Is Looking Younger?
A. Faye S. Lift.

Q. Which zoologist wrote the definitive guide, Frogs and Toads?
A. A. M. Fibian.

Q. What is the title of the newly published trash collector's memoir?
A. Dump and Dumper.

Q. Who authored the new book, Allergic to the Common Cold, that really blows?
A. Ron E. Knoes.

Q. What do you need for a quick book review?
A. A second glance.

Q. What did the lunch buffet at the textbook writer's conference feature?
A. A table of contents.

Q. Which frugal Martha Stewart wannabe wrote the new lifestyle book,
Living YES On a NO Budget?
A. Penni Pincher.

Q. Why did the library book go to the doctor?
A. Because it needed to be checked out.

Q. Who authored the new book, How I Deal With Stress?
A. Val E. Yum.

Q. Which Pro Bowler wrote the hard-hitting expose about football players that secretly bowl, titled: Key Pin Score?
A. Adam Upps.

Q. Which author penned the delicious new cookbook titled, Healthy Foods Must Die?
A. Chris P. Bacon.

Q. What do you call a book in the bathroom that you write your personal thoughts in?
A. A diarrhea.

Did you hear about the new book about diarrhea? It flows really well.

Q. Who wrote the hot new superhero tell-all book, Batman's Greatest Enemy?
A. Joe Kerr.

Q. Who wrote the book, I'm Pretty Spaced Out?
A. Luna Tyckk.

Q. Which brilliant dentist wrote the book, Toothpaste Loves Teeth?
A. F. Lo Ryde.

Q. Which author is not famous for writing his novel, Horrendous Hack?
A. Terr E. Buhl.

Q. Who authored the new self-help book, Equally Adept?
A. Amber Dex Truss.

Q. Which former Portlandian wrote the book titled, Lousy Lumberjack, while he was recovering in the hospital?
A. Tim Burr.

Q. Why are people who work in publishing to annotate books merely considered insignificant?
A. Because their work is mostly marginal.

Q. Which buggy scientist wrote the irritating new book, Living With Mosquito Bites?
A. Ivan A. Scratch.

Q. Which disgruntled banker wrote the cheap tell-all book about safe sex, Men Can Change?
A. Bette E. Wount.

Literate Tip of the Day: Never judge a book by it's movie.

Q. Who authored the popular self-help book, How to Say NO?
A. Shirl E. Knott.

Q. Which popular book series is dedicated to instructions for remedying all sorts of belly ailments?
A. For Tummies.

Q. Who wrote the appetizing new cookbook, Chipping In Hot Condiments?
A. Saul Sah.

Q. Who wrote the new cookbook, Hot 'N Spicy Tex-Mex Menus?
A. Halle Peen Yo.

Q. Why did fans buy so many comic books when the Fantastic Four debuted?
A. To Marvel at them.

Q. Which former patient wrote the book, Mental Health Changed Me?
A. Lou Nee Bynn.

Q. How many cover blurb writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A vast and teeming horde stretching from sea to shining sea!

Q. What is it called when you're nicer to people who look up facts in books?
A. Referential treatment.

Q. Which meteorologist wrote the best-selling Colorado travel book, Not Too Hot, Too Cold Not?
A. Lou Quarm.

Q. Who did not write the book, Cousin Hurricane?
A. Ty F. Une.

Q. Who wrote the book, Yeah, I'm Still a Smoker?
A. Nick O. Tiene.

Q. Which classic novel is about beaning brought up in the South?
A. The Adventures of Tom Soya.

Q. Who authored the service industry best seller: Yez, How Can I Help?
A. Len D. Hand.

Q. Why is the new high tech toilet so popular?
A. Because it comes with 100s of downloadable books.

Q. What do you call a book next to the toilet that you write your personal thoughts in?
A. A diarrhea.

Q. Which hypochondriac wrote the book, I Got Your Fear of Germs?
A. Polly Ethel Ene.

Q. Which former patient wrote the book, Mental Health Changed My Thinking?
A. Lew Knee Binn.

Q. What did the math book say to the shrink?
A. Would you like to hear my problems?

Q. What did the captive reader think about the new book about the Stockholm Syndrome?
A. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end, he loved it.

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