Q. What's the difference between a well-dressed man and his dog?
A. One wears a three-piece suit; the other just pants.

Q. What does a tailor do when a guy says his pants are too long?
A. He cuts him some slacks.

Q. What kind of pants won't you ever see at the muscle gym?
A. Slackers.

Did you see the sign outside the shop that said: 50% off Trousers? Actually, they were selling shorts!

Q. Why are burlap pants becoming a hot fashion trend?
A. 'Cause stylish folks are just itching to show them off.

Q. What do you call the colorful guy who invented denim pants?
A. A blue jean-ius!

Q. How do you describe it when your blue jeans are all worn out?
A. They're on their last legs.

Q. Do old blue jeans ever die?
A. No, they just fade away.

Q. Why did the denim jeans maker lose his job?
A. He didn't make the cut.

Q. How did the depressed trousers tailor die?
A. Unfortunately, he commited sew-icide.

Q. Why do some people reject skinny jeans?
A. Because they just can't get into them.

Q. What is the unanticipated problem with camouflage print clothing?
A. Once you find them to buy them, you can't find them in your closet!

Q. Why shouldn't tourists buy London Bridge Trousers?
A. Because they keep falling down.

Q. Why did the Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
A. Because they wore their buckles on their hats and shoes.

Fashion Pick-Up Line: Did you get those pants on sale? 'Cause they're 100% off at my place.

Q. What do you call a school kid with a dictionary in his pants pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. What is the timeless pants exhibit at the Levi Straus Museum called?
A. Jean-Eaology.

Q. Why did Levi Straus will his company to his nephews?
A. He wanted to keep it in the genes.

Q. What does Bill call his new line of Star Trek theme designer women's jeans that are roomy enough for adult diapers?
A. Shatner Pants.

Q. What happened when the best pants tailor in town passed away?
A. He was given a fitting eulogy.

Q. What is a fitting birthday gift for an electrical engineer?
A. Shorts.

Q. What did the shoes say to the pants?
A. Sup, Britches?

Q. What do bitches wear to work?
A. Pant Suits! (ArF-ing Funny!)

Q. How was slacks sale at the new big and tall store going?
A. Buy and large, quite well.

Sew Funny Tailored Laugh of the Day: When the tailor quickly hemmed the suit pants, he made it seam so easy.

Q. What's the best pattern for a banker's golf pants?
A. Checks.

Q. Which kind of britches did Napolean wear?
A. Francey pants.

Q. What is it called when you wear jeans and a western shirt?
A. Ranch Dressing!

Q. What's the proper undercover attire for detaining a redneck perp?
A. Jeans and a holding tank.

A guy was folding his pants, fresh out the drier, and found a dollar in a pocket. His blonde girlfriend walked in and asked, "Beau, how long have you been laundering money?"

Q. What do the cops call a pantless person who has been debriefed?
A. Nudist.

Well-Dressed Point to Ponder: Signs always say, No Sirt, No Shoes, No Service. What about pants?

Q. Why don't people wear cardboard belts with their trousers?
A. Because that would be a waist of paper.

Q. Who wrote the dress code for P.E. class?
A. Jim Shortz.

Q. What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a guy wearing cut-off jean on a bike?
A. A tire!

Q. What happened after one office worker began wearing professional business attire to work instead of jeans?
A. Everybody else followed suit.

Q. What did the hoodie say to the pair of pants?
A. Wassup britches.

Q. If coffee loving ROTC cadets had a fraternity, what would they wear?
A. Kappa Chinos.

Q. What do you call a pair of leather pants that had its surface completely scraped off?
A. Dis-sueded.

Fashionable Point to Ponder: If you're wearing a corduroy shirt, a corduroy tie, and a corduroy hat, do you need corduroy pants to be a complete Roy?

Q. Which kind of sweet does a banker keep in his pants pocket?
A. InvestMints.

Q. What do you call it when two men's trouser tailors have a fist fight?
A. A serious altercation!

Q. If you have $10 in your pants and you lose $5, what do you have in your pocket?
A. A hole.

Q. When are old knickers great for golf?
A. When they have 18 holes.

Cents-Less Point to Ponder: If that dumb guy had a nickel for every time someone said, "look at that asshole!," he'd certainly have enough money to patch up that hole in his pants.

Q. Who should you hire if you need some dress slacks altered?
A. Anita Tailor.

Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. A pair of trouser designers driving a truck load of samples to the fashion show.

Q. Why did the leopard wear striped pants?
A. So he wouldn't be spotted.

Q. Why was the perfectionist tailor always so right on the pants fit?
A. He had nothing to loose.

Q. What kind of underwear do sexy monkeys wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.

A stealthy cat burglar went shopping for camouflage pants, but fortunately, he simply couldn't find any.

Q. What kind of underwear do reporters wear under their pants?
A. News Briefs.

Q. Which casual slacks did hipster Mallards wear in 1999?
A. Quacky-colored cotton Duckers.

Fashion Point to Ponder: Are yoga pants the push-up bra for your butt?

Gym Pick-Up Line: Did you get those yoga pants on sale? 'Cause at my place, they're 100% off!

Q. How is tight fitting yoga pants like a smile?
A. They make your cheeks go up!

Q. What did the skinny jeans model have to do to prepare for the photo shoot?
A. He had to be well-briefed.

Q. Why did the author become a pants tailor?
A. He wanted to make an Ernest living the Hemingway.

Q. Who wrote the snooty fashion article about the nicest clothes?
A. Phan C. Pantz.

Q. How do guys describe angry skinny jeans?
A. Crotchety!

Q. What happened when the guy decided to try on the pants he wore on his wedding day on his 5th wedding anniversary?
A. It was a waist of time.

Q. Why do pirates like seeing thongs when they visit the beach?
A. Because it's all about the booty.

Q. What are a ghost's favorite pants?
A. Boo Jeans!

Fashion Point to Ponder: Can a one-armed man buy shirts and pants at a second hand store?

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