Christmas Food Jokes.

Q.
Which band do gingerbread men with one leg listen to?

A. Limp Bizkit.

Q.
What is the best thing to put into a Christmas fruit cake?

A. Your teeth.

Q.
What is the best thing to put into a Christmas fruit cake?

A. Anything but your fist because broken fingers hurt worse
than eating fruit cake.

Q.
What do snowmen always order off the Tex-Mex lunch menu?

A. Brrr-itos!

Q.
Where can you find chili beans?

A. At the North Pole.

Q.
What do snowmen order at Wendy's Slide-thru window?

A. A Frosty.

Q.
Why is it so easy for elves to cook up Christmas cookies
in the kitchen?

A. Because they know where every kitchen u-tinsel
is.

Q.
What did the Christmas holiday baker put on the gingerbread
man's bed?

A. A cookie sheet.

Q.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a baker?

A. Frosty the Doughman.

Q.
What is Santa's favorite snack food?

A. Crisp Pringles.

Q.
What do you get if you deep-fry department store Santas?

A. Crispy Kringles.

Q.
Which sweet treat are patients at the insane asylum served
for dessert on Christmas?

A. Fruitcake with extra nuts.

Q.
What is a snowman's favorite winter drink at the North Pole
Bar?

A. Long Island Iced Tea.

Q.
What kind of wine does Rudolph the Reindeer prefer?

A. Red! Unless he's on a rooftop, then White!

Q.
What's in the potent Christmas cocktail called Little Drummer
Boy?

A. One part rum, three parts Painful rum Puns.

Q.
Why can't you trust baked goods during the holidays?

A. 'Cause
it might be a minced spy!

Q.
Which kind of pizza do mice especially enjoy during the
winter holiday season?

A. Cheeses Crust.

Q.
What does Tony the Tiger call snowman dandruff?

A. Frosted Flakes.

Q.
Why should you never leave out 288 cookies for Santa on
Christmas Eve?

A. Because that's two gross!

Q.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a flock of ducks?

A. Christmas Quackers.

Q.
What do snowmen like to eat for lunch druning a winter snowstorm?

A. Ice-BRR-gers.

Q.
What is a snowman's favorite Christmas snack?

A. Ice Krispie Treats.

Q.
Which kind of cake does a snowman like?

A. Any kind, as long as it has a lot of frosting.

Q.
What do cool snowman eat for dinner?

A. Iceberg lettuce salad drizzled with chilly sauce dressing
.

Q.
What is a zombie's favorite holiday beverage?

A. Egg noggin.

Q.
At the craft beer pub in Breckenridge, Colorado what is
the drunk guy's favorite kind of skis?

A. Brewskies!

Q.
How do you know when a Vail ski instructor walks into the
bar?

A. Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Q.
How does Santa make his reindeer fly?

A. He gives them Red Bull, because Red Bull gives you wings.

Q.
What happened when the baker crossed an apple with a Christmas
tree?

A. He got enough pineapple pies for a crowd.

Q.
What did the Christmas gingerbread man put on his bed?

A. A cookie sheet.

Q.
Whic holiday carol makes Santa say "No, No, No!"
instead of "Ho, Ho, Ho" on Christmas Eve?

A. Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire!

Q.
What do you call a group of chess masters bragging about
their games in a hotel lobby during December?

A. Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.

Q.
Why don't snowmen like carrot cake?

A. Because it tastes like boogers.

Q.
What did the annoyed snowman say to the carrot?

A. Just get out of my face!

Christmas
Wisecrack: Good parents teach their kids not to catch snowflakes
with their tongues until all the birds have gone south.

Q.
What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree and an apple?

A. A pineapple.

Q.
What happens when you eat too much pumpkin pie during the
fall season and then again at Christmas time?

A. You'll get autmn-y ache.

Q.
Which kind of corn chips are best after a day of holiday
skiing when you're sitting in front of the fireplace with
your boots off?

A. Tostitos.

Q.
What is the most commonly served beverage at the North Pole?

A. Iced Tea.

Q.
Why didn't the North Pole tourist get any sleep last night?

A. Because he accidentally plugged his electric blanket
into the toaster and he kept popping out of bed all night.

Q.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions
eat for lunch?

A. Icebergers. BRR!

Q.
What do Colorado skiers like in their breakfast bowl?

A. Frosted Flakes.

Q.
Which exercise do elves at Santa's candy factory do to stay
fit?

A. Peppermint twists.

Q.
If you're telemark skiing the Colorado slopes over the holidays
and find a fork in the ski run, what should you do?

A. Stop for lunch!

Q.
What do winter holiday skiers order at fast food restaurants?

A. Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.