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From the original Painful Puns archive.

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If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring!

If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring

Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward? A. they like the part where the hooker gives the money back!

Gorilla Asks: Why do cheap guys watch porno movies backward

Q. Why did a guy keep throwing monopoly money at the stripper? A. She kept putting fake boobs in his face!

Why did a guy keep throwing monopoly money at the stripper

What's the cheesiest sitcom of all time? Curd Your Enthusiasm

What's the cheesiest sitcom of all time

Q. What is a pickle's favorite game show? A. Let's Make A Dill!

What is a pickle's favorite game show

What is a pickle's favorite movie? To Dill a Mockingbird

What is a pickle's favorite movie

What is a cucumber's favorite TV network? A. Pickleodeon!

What is a cucumber's favorite TV network

Q. Why can't kids see the new pirate movie? A. Because it's rated ARRR!

Why can't kids see the new pirate movie

Isn't it ironic that the Pirates of the Carribean DVD includes a piracy warning?

Isn't it ironic that the Pirates of the Carribean DVD includes a piracy warning

Q. What did the sailors say when the hula dancer performed? A. Hip Hip Hooray!

What did the sailors say when the hula dancer performed

Q. What do you call it when you take pictures of the sprite in the tempest? A. Ariel Photography!

What do you call it when you take pictures of the sprite in the tempest

The Munsters Say: Wow, It's Sinister Saturday!

The Munsters Say: Wow, It's Sinister Saturday